Tag: connecting

The GoFundMe Is Not a Life Insurance Policy

by Mothersense, posted in financial-planning


I shared it without thinking twice. A GFM for my former father-in- law, and then, a friend of a friend. A family I didn’t know personally but recognized in the way you recognize anyone who looks like people you love. The photo was from a better day — a birthday, maybe, or a holiday. Everyone smiling. No one knowing what was coming.
I hit share. I donated what I could. I scrolled on.
And then I sat with it.
Because here’s the thing nobody says out loud when those posts go around:
A GoFundMe is not a plan. It’s what happens when there wasn’t one.
I’ve been in this industry long enough to know what the aftermath looks like. Not the GoFundMe stage — the stage after that. When the campaign closes. When the casseroles stop coming. When the world moves on and that family is still sitting inside a life that financially collapsed overnight.
The mortgage didn’t pause for grief.
The utility companies didn’t send condolences.
The kids still needed things.
And the person who held it all together was gone.
That’s the part that doesn’t make it into the fundraiser description. The slow, grinding weight of trying to rebuild a life when the foundation was pulled out from under you — with no parachute, no cushion, nothing but the kindness of strangers and a Donate button.
I’m not here to scare you. I’m here because I’ve had the hard conversations — the ones that happen after it’s too late to do anything about it — and I would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with you now than a heartbreaking one later.
This is what I do. Not because it’s a job, but because it matters in a way that is genuinely hard to explain until you’ve watched a family try to survive without it.
There is a solution for where you are right now — whatever your budget, whatever your stage of life:
Mortgage Protection — so your family keeps the roof over their heads, no matter what happens to you.
Final Expense Coverage — so the people grieving you aren’t also drowning in bills they didn’t see coming.
Living Benefits — so a diagnosis doesn’t also become a financial crisis while you’re still here fighting.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start.
If you’re in Texas, I’d love to sit down with you and find something that actually fits your life and your budget — no pressure, no jargon, just an honest conversation.
If you’re outside of Texas, I have trusted colleagues across the country and I will personally make sure you’re connected to someone who will take care of you.
Your family deserves more than a Donate button.
Let’s build something that holds.
Drop a comment or send me a message. Let’s talk

Julie.kilcrease.insurance@gmail.com

Mom Burnout Doesn’t Always Look Like Breaking Down

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation



When people talk about burnout, they usually picture someone falling apart.

Crying.
Snapping.
Completely overwhelmed and unable to keep going.

And sometimes it does look like that.

But sometimes it doesn’t.

Sometimes burnout is quiet.

It looks like getting up every day and doing exactly what needs to be done, but feeling nothing while you do it.
It looks like checking the boxes, answering the calls, making the meals, showing up for everyone… and still feeling like you are not really there.

Not sad enough to fall apart.
Not okay enough to feel at peace.

Just somewhere in the middle.

Stuck.

I think that version of burnout is harder to recognize, because from the outside, everything looks fine.

You are still functioning.
The house is still running.
The kids are still cared for.
Life is still moving forward.

But inside, something feels off.

You are tired in a way that sleep does not fix.
You are overwhelmed in a way that is hard to explain.
You are needed constantly, and somehow still feel invisible.

And then comes the guilt.

Because how do you admit you are burned out when you are still doing everything you are supposed to do?

How do you say you are struggling when nothing is technically falling apart?

So you don’t.

You push it down.
You tell yourself other people have it harder.
You remind yourself to be grateful.

And you keep going.

That is what a lot of mom burnout actually looks like.

It is not always a breaking point.

Sometimes it is a slow fading.

A quiet losing of yourself in the middle of taking care of everyone else.

A life that starts to feel more like responsibility than something you are living.

And the hardest part is, you can stay there for a long time.

Because nothing forces you to stop.

There is no clear moment where everything crashes and demands your attention.

There is just that quiet voice in the back of your mind that says, something is not right.

If you are in that place, I want you to hear this.

You do not have to fall apart for your burnout to be real.

You do not have to earn rest by reaching a breaking point.

You are allowed to acknowledge that you are tired.
You are allowed to admit that something feels off.
You are allowed to need more than just getting through the day.

Not every season is meant to feel full and meaningful and balanced.

Some seasons are heavy.

But you are still in there somewhere.

Even if you feel a little disconnected.
Even if you are just going through the motions right now.

This is not the end of you.

It is a signal.

A quiet one, maybe.
But an important one.

And maybe the next step is not fixing everything all at once.

Maybe it is just noticing.

Maybe it is just being honest with yourself.

Maybe it is just giving yourself permission to say, this is harder than I thought it would be.

That matters.

More than you think.

Dinner Conversations We Avoid, But shouldn’t

by Mothersense, posted in financial-planning, This Life

The Dinner Table Conversation We Avoid… But Shouldn’t
There’s something sacred about the dinner table.
It’s where backpacks get unpacked, where stories spill out about teachers and tests, where we remind our kids to eat their vegetables and ask about their day. It’s where life happens. Messy, loud, beautiful life.
Between the “Did you finish your homework?” and “Don’t forget practice tomorrow,” we’re building something bigger than routines. We’re building a sense of safety.


But here’s a question most of us never ask in those moments:
What would happen to all of this if I wasn’t here tomorrow?


Peace of Mind Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s a Plan.
We spend so much time protecting our families in everyday ways. Locking doors, checking grades, making sure everyone gets where they need to be.


But real peace of mind comes from knowing your family wouldn’t be left overwhelmed, confused, or struggling to pick up the pieces if the unthinkable happened.
Grief is hard enough without paperwork, court dates, and unanswered questions.


A Conversation I’ve Already Started
I’ll be honest. I’ve had these conversations with my family.
I have a document ready with all my important logins and passwords, and I keep it updated regularly. Someone knows where it is. That matters more than people realize.
I’ve talked through the hard things with my husband and my older kids. Not because I want to, but because I need to.
And yes, sometimes it gets uncomfortable.


Like when I told my kids I changed my mind about insisting on cremation. I told them, “Do what you guys want.” There are five of them, so good luck with that decision.
But I did give them one non negotiable.
At whatever kind of gathering they have for me, they must play “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life).” (They don’t need to know how it ties back to an episode of ER I watched with my mom that left us both bawling.)


My youngest gets so uncomfortable every time I bring it up. He tells me, “Mom, tell the others, not me.”


Oh, I do!


I tell all of them. Often enough to make sure they know.
Because As Much As It Sucks, It’s Necessary
I know this isn’t a fun topic.
It sucks.
But it is necessary.
If I leave this world suddenly, I don’t want my family sitting around asking:


What do we do now?


Where is everything?


What would she have wanted?


I cannot be here forever with them.
But I can guide them through these choices now.
We all die. That is the truth no one likes to say out loud.
But I can ease some of the frustration, some of the confusion, and even a little of the pain that comes after.

I can declutter my own things, so they don’t have to. I can give them sentimental gifts while I am still around to know they enjoy them.


The Reality Most Families Aren’t Prepared For:

Without preparation, families are left trying to figure everything out while grieving:


Where are the bank accounts?
Who gets access to what?
What were the wishes?
How do they even begin?


If things are not set up properly, it can all end up in probate. This is a long, expensive, and emotionally draining process. Just ask my sister. We learned the hard way.
And it does not have to be that way.
Simple Steps That Change Everything


This is not about fear. It is about love. These are simple, practical ways to protect your family:


✔️ Financial Protection
Have life insurance or burial coverage
Consider prepaid funeral plans
✔️ Direct Beneficiaries
Make sure all bank accounts have designated beneficiaries
This allows access with just an ID and death certificate
✔️ Protect Your Home


File a Transfer on Death (TOD) deed


This helps your home pass directly to your chosen person without probate
The Documents That Speak for You When You Can’t
Putting your wishes in writing is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind:

  • Living Will outlines your healthcare wishes
  • Durable Power of Attorney handles legal decisions
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney handles medical decisions
  • Last Will and Testament determines who receives your belongings
  • Funeral Planning Declaration states your final wishes
  • These do not have to be complicated. They just need to clearly reflect your wishes.


Make It Easy for the People You Love
One of the most overlooked steps is also one of the most important.
Create a master list of:

  • Bank accounts
  • Investments
  • Credit cards
  • Bills and utilities


Make sure someone knows:
Where your life insurance policies are
Where to find titles for vehicles and property
How to access your accounts and passwords


Because in today’s world, access is everything.


The Conversation That Matters Most


Talk to your family.
Even when it feels awkward.
Even when they do not want to hear it.
Tell them your wishes. Explain your decisions. Let them ask questions.
What feels uncomfortable now becomes clarity later.
It’s Not About the End. It’s About Love.
We cannot control what happens tomorrow.
But we can control how prepared we are today.
So maybe tonight, between dinner and dishes, you start a different kind of conversation.
Not a scary one.
A loving one.
Because true peace of mind is not just knowing your family is okay today.
It is knowing they will be okay no matter what.

Love and light! 😉

I write this not to be a sales person, I write it because I have LIVED IT, and I have seen up close too many loved ones left grieving with no plan to follow. It matters.

Legacy planning
Debt help

Spring Cleaning….House and Mind

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Spring Cleaning Your Mind (And Your Stuff)


Spring equinox is here, and yes—it’s that magical time when the world starts fresh, the days get longer, and everything feels like it could use a good tidy. But here’s the thing: spring cleaning isn’t just for closets. It’s for your mind, your energy, your thoughts… and yes, even your memories.
I know, I know. Some of you are already feeling that panic: “Wait, if I let go of that hoodie, that memory disappears!” To my neurospicy friends—you KNOW exactly what I mean. The texture, the smell, the little stitch that makes you remember… it’s sticky. It feels like letting go of the thing is letting go of the story.
But here’s the truth: it’s not real. Memories live in your brain, your heart, and your soul—they don’t live in the item itself. You can absolutely keep the memory without keeping the clutter. That hoodie? The shoes? The ticket stub? They’re props. You’re the star of the story, not the accessory.
Why Letting Go Feels Hard
Objects, habits, even old thoughts—they cling. We hold onto them because they’re familiar, because they make us feel safe, or because our brain just really likes a good story. But here’s the catch: cluttered spaces, whether physical or mental, make it harder to breathe, to think, to be fully present.
Your Step-by-Step Mental Spring Cleaning
Pick a zone – Closet? Phone? Thoughts that keep looping? Start somewhere small.
Ask yourself – Does this serve me? Or am I holding it out of habit, guilt, or fear?
Let it go – Donate, recycle, delete, journal about it, take a picture… whatever makes it safe to release.
Celebrate the space – Notice how your energy shifts when there’s breathing room.
Reclaim & Renew
Letting go isn’t losing—it’s reclaiming. It’s saying, “I honor my memories, and I honor myself by making space for joy, growth, and intention.” That’s reclamation. That’s renewal. That’s you stepping into a season where you aren’t weighed down by what no longer serves you.
So here’s your challenge for the equinox: pick one thing today—a hoodie, a thought, a habit—and let it go. Notice the difference it makes when you reclaim that space for yourself.
Because spring isn’t just about cleaning the house—it’s about cleaning your mind, your heart, and your life. And yes… you can absolutely keep the memories without keeping the clutter.

A is for Addiction

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation

Addiction.


Just sit with that word for a moment.
It carries weight. It sounds heavy. Shame-filled. Final. I can’t think of many positive things we associate with it.
I personally smoke cigarettes (working toward quitting), and I am absolutely a caffeine addict — and probably sugar too. But beyond my own habits, I have loved addicts. Not just romantically. Friends. Family. People I would go to the ends of the earth for.


So let’s ask the question plainly:
Is addiction a disease? A condition to be treated? Something recovery is possible from?
Yeah. Yes. It is.


What Is Addiction?
The American Society of Addiction Medicine defines addiction as:
A treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual’s life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences.


The National Institute on Drug Abuse explains it similarly — addiction is a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use despite negative consequences.
Chronic.
Medical.
Treatable.


Those words matter.


And here’s something else that matters:


In the United States, about 1 in 6 people struggle with a substance use disorder each year.
Millions more struggle with nicotine dependence.
Caffeine dependence is widely recognized.
Studies show that highly processed foods can trigger brain reward systems in ways similar to addictive substances.
This isn’t rare. This isn’t “those people.” This is us. Our neighbors. Our families.


We Joke About It… But Should We?
People casually say, “I’m a coffee addict.”
Or “I’m addicted to Diet Coke.”
Or “Don’t talk to me before my sugar.”
But do we understand the weight of that word?


Yes — you really can be addicted to sugar, caffeine, nicotine, and highly processed foods. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human with a brain wired for reward.
Our brains are designed to remember what feels good and to repeat it. Dopamine — the “feel good” neurotransmitter — reinforces behaviors that provide pleasure or relief. Over time, repetition becomes reliance. Reliance becomes dependence.
And dependence, when disrupted, becomes withdrawal.


The Logan Story
Let me tell you a story.
Logan was 10. His mom wasn’t much of a cook, so meals were mostly pre-packaged, fast food, convenient — and let me say clearly: fed is fed. No judgment. Survival comes first.
But when summer came, Logan went to stay with Dad and stepmom. They cooked fresh food. Fruits. Vegetables. Homemade meals. Grilled burgers and hot dogs.
Within days, Logan had what looked like the flu. Headaches. Fatigue. Irritability. Just not himself.
His big sister picked him up, took him to the movies and — yes — McDonald’s.
Miraculous recovery.
Until a week later, when the “flu” returned.
He wasn’t sick. He was withdrawing.
His body had become accustomed to high levels of sugar, sodium, and processed additives. When they disappeared, his system reacted.
Dad refused to reintroduce the fast food. They let his body recalibrate. It was uncomfortable. It was eye-opening. And it was very real.
Logan didn’t know he was dependent.
But his body did.


It’s All the Same Brain
Opioids.
Nicotine.
Methamphetamine.
Alcohol.
Sugar.
Caffeine.


Different substances. Same reward circuitry.
When we remove what the brain has grown used to, the body protests.


Withdrawal can look like:
Headaches
Fatigue
Anxiety
Irritability
Nausea
Depression
Physical pain


Some withdrawals are uncomfortable. Some are dangerous. Some are life-threatening.
But the mechanism? The brain wanting what it has been trained to expect.


So Where Do We Start?


We start by naming it.


Without shame.


We stop whispering about addiction like it’s a moral failure. We stop labeling people as “weak” or “lacking willpower.”
We start asking:
What pain is this numbing?
What pattern is this reinforcing?
What support is missing?
Addiction thrives in isolation. Recovery thrives in connection.
Somewhere, there has to be a conscious decision to become mindful of what we are putting into our bodies — and why.


Not with judgment.
With curiosity.


My Truth
I am a caffeine addict.
I am nicotine dependent.
I am working on both.
And I have loved addicts.


Deeply.


We need to help one another make better choices instead of judging someone’s struggle. Because it could be you. It could be me. It could be someone you love.
Addiction is not a character flaw.


It is a condition.
It is treatable.
Recovery is possible.


And compassion? That should be non-negotiable