Tag: growth

The Forced Exhale

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation



We are stepping away from the alphabet today. No letters, no structured frameworks, and no systems to analyze. Just a collective, heavy sigh before we head into the weekend.
I’ve spent a lot of time recently talking about the necessity of a pause, but if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t gracefully choose this quiet space. I was dragged into it. For anyone built with a “full steam ahead” default setting, resting feels a lot like quitting. We tell ourselves, “Just one more project,” “Just through this next week,” or “I’ll rest when everything is in order.”
But here is the brutal truth I’ve had to face lately: if you do not choose a time to rest, your body will eventually pick a time for you. And its choice is never convenient.
When you ignore the subtle warning signs—the creeping fatigue, the physical aches, the mental fog—your body eventually pulls the emergency brake. That’s where I’ve found myself, dealing with health issues that completely sidelined my best-laid plans. It turns out, you can’t negotiate with an exhausted nervous system or an ailing physical frame. It doesn’t care about your deadlines, your blog schedule, or the life you thought you’d be effortlessly managing at 50.
So this weekend isn’t just a casual break for me; it’s a necessary, forced evacuation from my own ambition.
Getting your life in order doesn’t always look like organizing a space or checking off a goal. Sometimes, getting yourself in order means surrendering to the couch. It means admitting that you are human, that your energy is finite, and that the world will not stop turning if you step away from the wheel for a few days.
If you are currently running on fumes, trying to outrun your own physical limits or the heavy grief that crops up when you finally slow down, please don’t wait for the crash. Don’t wait for your body to force your hand.
Let this Friday be your choice. Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Leave the unfinished projects exactly where they are—they will survive without you until Monday.
Take the breath now, on your own terms. Let’s exhale.

G is for Grief, Grace, and Gratitude…

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation



When I started mapping out this alphabet series, I had a neat, tidy plan. But life doesn’t always care about our editorial calendars. Lately, my health has thrown up some major roadblocks, forcing me into a position where I’ve had to literally pause.
For someone who loves to run full steam ahead with big plans, hitting the brakes like this is incredibly frustrating. It requires a massive step back to get myself in order, to heal, and to rest. But as I sit in this forced quiet, I’m realizing that the letter G isn’t just one simple concept. It’s a delicate, powerful trifecta: Grief, Grace, and Gratitude.
Grief: Hitting the pause button doesn’t stop the grief we carry; if anything, the quiet makes it louder. And it’s not just grief over a paused schedule. It’s the kind that shows up every single day in ways you don’t expect—the sudden, sharp reminder of loved ones lost, or the quiet ache of mourning the life you thought you would be living now that you’re 50. It’s a heavy thing to carry when your physical body is already tired.
Grace: This is where I am forced to practice what I preach. Grace means giving myself permission to take a step back from my full-steam-ahead plans without viewing it as a failure. It’s letting go of the guilt of the unfinished checklist and understanding that getting myself in order isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
Gratitude: Even in the midst of physical frustration, unexpected grief, and shifted expectations, gratitude doesn’t stop. It coexists right alongside the pain. I am deeply thankful for the quiet, the safety to rest, and the love that surrounds me. Gratitude doesn’t cancel out the hardship, but it gives me a solid place to anchor my soul while I heal.
If you are currently facing a forced pause—whether you’re navigating health challenges, wrestling with the realities of a milestone age, or just trying to catch your breath—know that you don’t have to choose just one emotion. You can hold space for the grief of what was and what might have been, extend yourself the grace to rest right where you are, and still find the gratitude to keep your heart open.
The plans will still be there when we are ready to run again. For today, the pause is exactly where we need to be.

The Weight and the Warmth of June 19th

by Mothersense, posted in This Life


The calendar tells us that Friday, June 19th is Juneteenth—a day designated for collective reflection, freedom, and celebration. But for me, the date always pulls me backward into a deeply personal history. It forces a quiet pause in the middle of summer. It rewinds the clock to 2019, to a road trip to Louisiana, and to a room filled with a heavy, holy kind of love.
June 19th was my precious Uncle John’s birthday. For probably twenty years or more, if you asked him his age, he’d grin and tell you he was “39 and holding.” But on that specific Wednesday in 2019, time was finally catching up. My sisters and I traveled down to see him, knowing we were stepping into a celebration that was also a final, fragile goodbye. He was about to be transitioned to comfort care.
The air in the room was heavy. We each took a turn to have a moment alone with him. When my turn came, I leaned in close. I leaned into the space between this world and whatever comes next, and I whispered into his ear that it was okay to go. I told him that Jeff would take care of me now. I’m not entirely sure how aware he was in that moment, but whispering those words into the quiet of the room was a balm for my own aching heart.
Then, the priest arrived to perform the anointing of the sick. Because Uncle John was a deacon, he shared a long, deeply rooted history with the priest—a brotherhood of faith and service. Yet, in the middle of all that sorrow, a strange and beautiful thing happened. The priest looked at me, knew exactly who I was, and called me by my name. “Emeline’s daughter,” he recognized. Uncle John had woven stories of me into his life and friendships long before those final days. He had carried me in his conversations for years, just as he carried me in his heart.
I still sit with that moment. I think about it every June 19th, right before the anniversary of his passing on June 20th. I look up at the sky and whisper back to him, hoping with everything I have that I am making him proud.
The Magic of a Louisiana Kitchen
When the grief settles into something softer, it usually leads me straight to the stove.
Truthfully, I was blessed with a family of cooks. Uncle John and Aunt Mertie weren’t the only ones who let me sit and pepper them with a million questions while they worked. But being in those Louisiana kitchens? That was a different kind of magic entirely.
Growing up, learning from Mom or Granny had its own rhythm, rooted in the familiar comfort of daily life. But stepping into Uncle John and Aunt Mertie’s kitchen felt like entering a sacred, vibrant sanctuary of flavor and storytelling. The humidity, the slow simmer of a roux, the effortless dance between them as they threw together dishes that tasted like pure love—it was an education in hospitality. They didn’t do it through formal lessons; they taught me simply by letting me exist in their space, answering every curious question a young girl could dream up.
To pass down a legacy is to answer the questions of the curious girl standing by the counter, watching you create.
God, I miss them. I miss the laughter, the Louisiana warmth, and the safe harbor of their home. But every time I replicate a flavor, test the seasoning, or cook with that patient, soul-filled instinct they modeled for me, they are right there.
So this Friday, while the world celebrates, I’ll be holding a quiet space for the deacon who was forever 39, for the mother who came before me, and for the beautiful, heartbreaking privilege of having people in our lives who are this terribly hard to lose.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Johnny. I hope the kitchen in heaven is everything you ever wanted.

The Anatomy of a Resilient System: Building for the “Low-Spoon” Days

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation


We’ve all been there. You sit down with a fresh cup of coffee and a master plan that could rival a military operation. You’ve got the categories, the color-coded blocks, and the ambition to build an empire by sunset.
But then, life happens. Or rather, the “energy tax” hits.
Maybe it’s a high-stress week, a string of late nights, or just one of those days where the mental “spoons” you started with have seemingly vanished by noon. Suddenly, that beautiful system you built feels like a judge, pointing a finger at everything you aren’t getting done.
That’s where the guilt creeps in. We start feeling like imposters in our own lives because we aren’t hitting the “ceiling” every single day.
The Trap of the “Perfect Version”
The biggest mistake we make when organizing our lives is building a system for the “perfect version” of ourselves—the one with boundless energy and zero distractions. But a system isn’t actually “better” if it only works when you’re at 100%.
A truly resilient system—one that actually moves the needle—is built for the person you are when you’re tired, foggy, and just trying to keep the wheels turning.
The Floor vs. The Ceiling
Think of your goals in two layers: The Ceiling and The Floor.
The Ceiling is your high-energy mode. This is where the heavy lifting happens—the deep creative work, the technical problem-solving, the “building” phase.
The Floor is your baseline. It’s the absolute bare minimum required to keep the momentum alive without burning out.
On low-energy days, your only job is to stay on the floor. If you can’t write the whole chapter, write one sentence. If you can’t reorganize the entire inventory, just clear one shelf. Success isn’t hitting the ceiling every day; it’s refusing to drop below the floor.
Choosing Your Focus (When You Only Have One Spoon Left)
When energy is low, we tend to panic and try to do a little bit of everything, which usually ends in doing nothing well. Instead, ask yourself: “Which one thing will make me feel the most ‘at peace’ tomorrow morning?”
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is “Maintenance” rather than “Growth.” Pushing yourself to “build” when your tank is empty is like trying to drive a car on fumes—you’ll eventually stall out, and the recovery time will be twice as long.
Forgiving the “Invisible Work”
If you’re in a phase of life where you’re researching, planning, or laying foundations, it can feel like you have nothing to show for your effort. This is where the imposter syndrome thrives. It whispers that if there’s no finished product, the work didn’t happen.
Don’t listen.
The invisible work—the thinking, the organizing, the learning—is the infrastructure. You can’t hang the drywall until the frame is up. If today was a day for framing and not for decorating, that is still a win.
Building to Breathe
As you look at your week, ask yourself: Is my system a cage, or is it a support beam?
A better system doesn’t demand more of you; it manages what you have. It gives you permission to pivot when the spoons are low and the grace to ignore the guilt when you need to rest.
Build a system that breathes. Because you aren’t a machine, and your value isn’t measured by how many boxes you checked when you were running on empty.

Mother-Sense: The Legacy We Carry, The Wisdom We Give

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation


As we approach Mother’s Day, my house feels a little fuller, the air a little thicker with memory, and my “Mother-Sense” is on high alert.


In the songwriting world, we talk about a “bridge”—that part of a song that connects where you’ve been to where you’re going. To me, that is exactly what motherhood is. It’s the bridge between the generations. It’s the radical hospitality of opening your heart to biological, bonus, and chosen children and saying, “There is a place for you here.”


More Than an Inheritance


I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy lately. In my “second half” of life, I’ve realized that the most valuable thing I can give my seven children and my three grandbabies isn’t something that can be kept in a bank or a box.


It’s Mother-Sense.


It’s that internal compass—the resilience to stand back up when life knocks your fence down, the intuition to know when a friend needs a quiet cup of coffee, and the bone-deep knowledge that they are loved, exactly as they are. It’s a functional, living tool kit for life.


The Reciprocal Song


People often say that mothers are the teachers, but if I’m honest, the song goes both ways.


My children have taught me more about courage than any lyric I’ve ever written.


They’ve shown me how to see the world through fresh eyes when mine were tired.


They’ve been the “steady anchors” in my own stormy seasons, reminding me that even when the melody changes, the foundation holds.


An Invitation to the Table


Whether you are a mother by birth, by marriage, or by choice, your “sense” is a superpower. It’s the wisdom that tells you when to hold on tight and when to let go so they can find their own rhythm. It’s the quiet strength that keeps the home fires burning, even when you’re busy building your own dreams and writing your own “second half.”


This Sunday, I won’t just be celebrating the title of “Mother.” I’ll be celebrating the resilience of every woman who has ever stepped into the gap, offered a hand, and shared her wisdom to light someone else’s path.


To my fellow mothers: What is one piece of ‘Mother-Sense’—that bit of hard-won wisdom—that you hope stays with your children forever? Let’s fill the comments with our collective legacy today