Tag: personal-growth

I’m Not the Mom I Thought I’d Be — And That’s Okay

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation, This Life



When I first became a mom, I had ideas.

Not just little ones, but full pictures in my head of how life would look.

What kind of mom I would be.
What kind of home I would create.
Who my kids would grow up to become.

I did not think of it as expectations at the time.
It felt more like hope.

I wanted a doctor.
Two nurses.
A veterinarian.

I wanted stability for them.
Security.
A life that felt a little more certain than the one I had known.

And I worked hard toward that in my own way.
Raising them.
Showing up.
Trying to guide them toward what I thought would give them the best future.

But life does not follow the plans we make in our heads.

And kids are not meant to become our plans.

They are meant to become themselves.

Somewhere along the way, I had to face a quiet truth.

My kids are not who I once imagined they would be.

They are not following the paths I pictured.
They are not fitting into the neat little futures I had hoped for.

And for a moment, that felt like loss.

Not because there is anything wrong with them.
But because I had to let go of the version of their lives that existed in my mind.

That is a hard thing to admit.

As parents, we do not like to say that part out loud.

But here is what I know now.

My kids are good people.

They are strong in ways that do not show up on paper.
They are learning, growing, struggling, and figuring life out in real time.

And they still call me.

When things get hard.
When they need advice.
When they just need someone to listen.

That means something.

Maybe everything.

Because at the end of the day, that was always the goal, even if I did not realize it at the time.

Not perfection.
Not a specific career path.
Not a life that looks impressive from the outside.

But connection.

Trust.

A relationship that lasts beyond childhood.

I am not the mom I thought I would be either.

I have changed.
Life has changed me.

There are things I would do differently if I could go back.
There are things I have had to learn the hard way.

And there are moments where I have questioned myself more than I ever expected to.

But I am still here.

Still showing up.
Still loving them the best way I know how.
Still learning alongside them instead of trying to control the outcome.

And maybe that is what motherhood really is.

Not raising perfect kids.
Not following a perfect plan.

But walking beside imperfect humans as they figure out who they are.

And learning to let them.

So no, my life does not look like I thought it would.

My kids are not who I once imagined.

And I am not the mom I expected to be.

But we are real.

We are connected.

We are still choosing each other, over and over again.

And that is more than enough.

Dinner Conversations We Avoid, But shouldn’t

Featured by Mothersense, posted in financial-planning, This Life

The Dinner Table Conversation We Avoid… But Shouldn’t
There’s something sacred about the dinner table.
It’s where backpacks get unpacked, where stories spill out about teachers and tests, where we remind our kids to eat their vegetables and ask about their day. It’s where life happens. Messy, loud, beautiful life.
Between the “Did you finish your homework?” and “Don’t forget practice tomorrow,” we’re building something bigger than routines. We’re building a sense of safety.


But here’s a question most of us never ask in those moments:
What would happen to all of this if I wasn’t here tomorrow?


Peace of Mind Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s a Plan.
We spend so much time protecting our families in everyday ways. Locking doors, checking grades, making sure everyone gets where they need to be.


But real peace of mind comes from knowing your family wouldn’t be left overwhelmed, confused, or struggling to pick up the pieces if the unthinkable happened.
Grief is hard enough without paperwork, court dates, and unanswered questions.


A Conversation I’ve Already Started
I’ll be honest. I’ve had these conversations with my family.
I have a document ready with all my important logins and passwords, and I keep it updated regularly. Someone knows where it is. That matters more than people realize.
I’ve talked through the hard things with my husband and my older kids. Not because I want to, but because I need to.
And yes, sometimes it gets uncomfortable.


Like when I told my kids I changed my mind about insisting on cremation. I told them, “Do what you guys want.” There are five of them, so good luck with that decision.
But I did give them one non negotiable.
At whatever kind of gathering they have for me, they must play “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life).” (They don’t need to know how it ties back to an episode of ER I watched with my mom that left us both bawling.)


My youngest gets so uncomfortable every time I bring it up. He tells me, “Mom, tell the others, not me.”


Oh, I do.


I tell all of them. Often enough to make sure they know.
Because As Much As It Sucks, It’s Necessary
I know this isn’t a fun topic.
It sucks.
But it is necessary.
If I leave this world suddenly, I don’t want my family sitting around asking:


What do we do now?


Where is everything?


What would she have wanted?


I cannot be here forever with them.
But I can guide them through these choices now.
We all die. That is the truth no one likes to say out loud.
But I can ease some of the frustration, some of the confusion, and even a little of the pain that comes after.


The Reality Most Families Aren’t Prepared For:

Without preparation, families are left trying to figure everything out while grieving:


Where are the bank accounts?
Who gets access to what?
What were the wishes?
How do they even begin?


If things are not set up properly, it can all end up in probate. This is a long, expensive, and emotionally draining process.
And it does not have to be that way.
Simple Steps That Change Everything


This is not about fear. It is about love. These are simple, practical ways to protect your family:


✔️ Financial Protection
Have life insurance or burial coverage
Consider prepaid funeral plans
✔️ Direct Beneficiaries
Make sure all bank accounts have designated beneficiaries
This allows access with just an ID and death certificate
✔️ Protect Your Home


File a Transfer on Death (TOD) deed


This helps your home pass directly to your chosen person without probate
The Documents That Speak for You When You Can’t
Putting your wishes in writing is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind:

  • Living Will outlines your healthcare wishes
  • Durable Power of Attorney handles legal decisions
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney handles medical decisions
  • Last Will and Testament determines who receives your belongings
  • Funeral Planning Declaration states your final wishes
  • These do not have to be complicated. They just need to clearly reflect your wishes.


Make It Easy for the People You Love
One of the most overlooked steps is also one of the most important.
Create a master list of:

  • Bank accounts
  • Investments
  • Credit cards
  • Bills and utilities


Make sure someone knows:
Where your life insurance policies are
Where to find titles for vehicles and property
How to access your accounts and passwords


Because in today’s world, access is everything.


The Conversation That Matters Most


Talk to your family.
Even when it feels awkward.
Even when they do not want to hear it.
Tell them your wishes. Explain your decisions. Let them ask questions.
What feels uncomfortable now becomes clarity later.
It’s Not About the End. It’s About Love.
We cannot control what happens tomorrow.
But we can control how prepared we are today.
So maybe tonight, between dinner and dishes, you start a different kind of conversation.
Not a scary one.
A loving one.
Because true peace of mind is not just knowing your family is okay today.
It is knowing they will be okay no matter what.

Love and light! 😉

Legacy planning
Debt help

How to Cope with Anxiety While Waiting for Change

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

The Agony of Waiting (and How to Survive It Without Losing Your Mind)

We’ve all been there.
The email is sent. The interview went great. The scale is so close to that magic number.
You’re halfway through a project, a life change, or a dream, and now you’re…
just…
waiting.

Waiting for the phone to ring.
Waiting for the green light.
Waiting for the thing you know is coming (probably) but still feels like it’s stuck in a cosmic traffic jam.

It’s maddening.

Why Waiting Feels So Hard

Waiting is a limbo space. You’re not where you were, but you’re not yet where you want to be. Our brains hate that. They crave certainty, closure, and momentum. Without it, anxiety loves to step in and narrate a running “what if” list like an over-caffeinated sports commentator.

We’ve been taught that if we’re not actively doing something, we’re failing, lazy, or wasting time. So we start filling the space with noise—tasks, projects, errands—sometimes not because they matter, but because the silence of waiting feels unbearable.

Here’s the Truth: You Don’t Have to Fill Every Second

Waiting doesn’t have to be passive, but it also doesn’t have to be crammed full of “productivity” for the sake of appearances.
There’s a radical thing we can do instead:
Be still.

Being still doesn’t mean being frozen. It means giving yourself permission to exist without constantly proving your worth through output. Stillness can be taking a slow walk without a podcast in your ears. Sitting outside with a cup of coffee, just watching the way sunlight hits the leaves. Allowing yourself to breathe without thinking, “I should be doing something right now.”

What You Can Do While You Wait (Without Driving Yourself Crazy)

  1. Hold space for yourself
     Give your emotions somewhere to go. Journal them. Talk them out. Cry if you need to. Sometimes the waiting is the work, because you’re learning to sit with uncertainty.
  2. Set “check-in” times
     Instead of obsessively refreshing your inbox, decide you’ll check it at certain times of the day. Boundaries keep you from spiraling into constant vigilance.
  3. Practice micro-pleasures
     Do tiny, nourishing things that don’t have to lead anywhere—a short walk, a chapter of a book, baking something, or even rearranging your desk for your own comfort.
  4. Reconnect with the non-outcome parts of life
     The people, hobbies, and routines that aren’t tied to the thing you’re waiting for can ground you in the present.
  5. Let it be awkward
     Not every season has to be full of dazzling growth. Some seasons are about holding the ground while the seed sprouts underground, invisible to you.

The Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to earn the right to rest.
You don’t have to distract yourself into exhaustion.
And you don’t have to let waiting steal all the joy out of right now.

The thing you’re waiting for will come—or something else will arrive in its place—and you’ll move forward when it’s time. In the meantime, give yourself grace. Stay curious. Be still when you can. Move when it feels good.

Because life isn’t just about the big moments when the call finally comes, the scale tips, or the email lands. It’s also about the quiet minutes in between—the waiting room of life—where we learn who we are without the outcome.

Breaking Free from Your Comfort Zone

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Where Growth Begins
We all love our comfort zones. They’re warm, familiar, and safe — a space where
routines rule, risks are low, and uncertainty is kept at bay. It’s where we feel in control.
But while this space might feel cozy, it can also become a quiet trap, keeping us stuck in
sameness and stalling our potential.
Growth, learning, and transformation don’t happen in the comfort zone. They begin the
moment we stretch beyond it — when we test our limits, explore the unfamiliar, and
challenge our own self-imposed boundaries.

The Power of the Stretch
Stretching beyond the comfort zone doesn’t mean making reckless decisions or chasing
extremes. It means trying something new, stepping into the unknown even if your voice
shakes, and accepting that discomfort is part of the journey.
Maybe it’s launching that business idea you’ve been sitting on. Or finally signing up for
that fitness class. Maybe it’s starting a creative project, speaking in public, or even just
introducing yourself to someone new. Each step outside the comfort zone is a vote of
confidence in yourself.
The truth is, you can’t grow without a little stretch. That’s how muscles develop, skills
sharpen, and people evolve.

Rethinking Failure: A Learning Opportunity
One of the biggest reasons we cling to the comfort zone is fear — especially the fear of
failure. But what if we started seeing failure for what it really is: a First Attempt In
Learning?

Failure is not a dead-end. It’s feedback. It teaches resilience, refines strategies, and
builds wisdom. Every successful person has failed — not once, but often. The
difference is, they didn’t stop there. They saw failure not as a reflection of their worth,
but as a stepping stone to growth.
Let’s drop the perfectionism. We are often our own harshest critics, expecting ourselves
to get everything right the first time. But perfection is a myth — progress is real. Give
yourself permission to be a beginner. To stumble. To grow messy and real, instead of
polished and safe.

Investing in Yourself Is the Boldest Move You Can Make
Whether you’re dreaming of building a business, learning a new hobby, improving your
health, or expanding your social circle — the first step is the scariest. But it’s also the
most empowering.
Taking a leap of faith isn’t about having zero fear — it’s about moving forward despite
the fear. It’s telling yourself, “I may not have all the answers yet, but I believe I’m worth
the effort.”

A Challenge for You
Today, take one small step outside your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be dramatic.
Maybe it’s sharing your work online, reaching out to someone you admire, or signing up
for a class. Whatever it is, let it be a declaration: I am willing to grow.
You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be brave enough to begin.

Remember: Your comfort zone may feel safe, but your potential lives outside of it. Take
the leap. Stretch. Fail. Learn. And most importantly, believe in yourself enough to try.

Making Lemons to Lemonade: Pausing to Heal

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

When Life Gives You Lemons

Life has really been topsy-turvy over the last few years. Every single time I feel like I’ve got things together and they’re finally smoothing out—BAM! Something happens. Something shifts. The rug gets pulled out from under me and I’m left to figure out how to adapt all over again.

Sometimes it’s something small, like needing to start blood pressure medicine. Other times, it’s devastating, like the loss of a parent. Either way, it changes the way we move through life. I say “we,” but really, I mean me. These experiences shape how I think, how I react, and how I heal.

Over the past few years, I’ve gained and lost a lot—people, routines, habits, hopes. But right now, I want to focus on what I’ve gained. I need to. Because if I dwell too long on the losses, I risk sinking into a deep ocean of grief. So instead, I choose to lean into growth. I’m learning to be still. To listen. Not just to the noise around me, but to the quiet wisdom inside my body and my instincts.

When You Slip (And You Will), Here’s How to Get Back on Track

Let’s be honest—knowing what’s good for you doesn’t always mean you’ll do it. I have the knowledge. I know how to eat well, sleep better, stretch, breathe, reflect, reset. But in those moments when the world feels heavy and nothing makes sense, the old habits come back like they never left.

Maybe I skip meals or reach for all the wrong ones. I forget to drink water. I stay up too late scrolling. I miss my yoga. My meditation mat gathers dust. And then come the consequences: brain fog, body aches, mood swings, a constant feeling of being off.

Here’s what I’ve learned, though:

  • Start small. Don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. Pick one thing. Just one. Maybe it’s drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s five minutes of quiet breathing before bed. Just start.
  • Don’t punish yourself. Guilt is not a motivator; it’s an anchor. Instead of beating yourself up, offer yourself some grace. Say, “Okay, I missed today. Tomorrow is a fresh start.”
  • Set visual cues. Put your yoga mat where you can see it. Leave sticky notes with affirmations on your mirror. Set reminders in your phone to pause and breathe.
  • Talk about it. Whether with a friend, a therapist, or a journal—say it out loud. When you name the struggle, it loses some of its power.

How to Make Lemonade When Life Gives You Lemons

The truth is, life will give you lemons. Sometimes by the bucketload. But those lemons? They don’t have to rot. They can be squeezed into something meaningful, something new. Here’s how I’m learning to turn sour moments into sweet progress:

  • Shift the perspective. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” try, “What is this trying to teach me?” Every challenge is an invitation to evolve.
  • Create something. Pain and frustration are powerful fuel for creativity. Write, paint, build, sing, garden—channel that energy somewhere healing.
  • Help someone else. When you’re struggling, reach out to someone else who is too. Kindness multiplies, and it gives your pain purpose.
  • Celebrate the smallest wins. Got out of bed today? Win. Drank water instead of soda? Win. Laughed, even once? That’s a huge win.

Final Thoughts

Life’s chaos won’t stop. There will always be something unexpected around the corner. But the way I meet those moments? That’s up to me. I’m learning—slowly, imperfectly—to meet them with softness, with self-awareness, and with hope. Even when I slip, even when it’s hard, I keep reminding myself:

I can begin again.

And again.

And again.

Because when life gives me lemons, I won’t just make lemonade.

I’ll build the whole stand.