Tag: illness

Dinner Conversations We Avoid, But shouldn’t

Featured by Mothersense, posted in financial-planning, This Life

The Dinner Table Conversation We Avoid… But Shouldn’t
There’s something sacred about the dinner table.
It’s where backpacks get unpacked, where stories spill out about teachers and tests, where we remind our kids to eat their vegetables and ask about their day. It’s where life happens. Messy, loud, beautiful life.
Between the “Did you finish your homework?” and “Don’t forget practice tomorrow,” we’re building something bigger than routines. We’re building a sense of safety.


But here’s a question most of us never ask in those moments:
What would happen to all of this if I wasn’t here tomorrow?


Peace of Mind Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s a Plan.
We spend so much time protecting our families in everyday ways. Locking doors, checking grades, making sure everyone gets where they need to be.


But real peace of mind comes from knowing your family wouldn’t be left overwhelmed, confused, or struggling to pick up the pieces if the unthinkable happened.
Grief is hard enough without paperwork, court dates, and unanswered questions.


A Conversation I’ve Already Started
I’ll be honest. I’ve had these conversations with my family.
I have a document ready with all my important logins and passwords, and I keep it updated regularly. Someone knows where it is. That matters more than people realize.
I’ve talked through the hard things with my husband and my older kids. Not because I want to, but because I need to.
And yes, sometimes it gets uncomfortable.


Like when I told my kids I changed my mind about insisting on cremation. I told them, “Do what you guys want.” There are five of them, so good luck with that decision.
But I did give them one non negotiable.
At whatever kind of gathering they have for me, they must play “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life).” (They don’t need to know how it ties back to an episode of ER I watched with my mom that left us both bawling.)


My youngest gets so uncomfortable every time I bring it up. He tells me, “Mom, tell the others, not me.”


Oh, I do.


I tell all of them. Often enough to make sure they know.
Because As Much As It Sucks, It’s Necessary
I know this isn’t a fun topic.
It sucks.
But it is necessary.
If I leave this world suddenly, I don’t want my family sitting around asking:


What do we do now?


Where is everything?


What would she have wanted?


I cannot be here forever with them.
But I can guide them through these choices now.
We all die. That is the truth no one likes to say out loud.
But I can ease some of the frustration, some of the confusion, and even a little of the pain that comes after.


The Reality Most Families Aren’t Prepared For:

Without preparation, families are left trying to figure everything out while grieving:


Where are the bank accounts?
Who gets access to what?
What were the wishes?
How do they even begin?


If things are not set up properly, it can all end up in probate. This is a long, expensive, and emotionally draining process.
And it does not have to be that way.
Simple Steps That Change Everything


This is not about fear. It is about love. These are simple, practical ways to protect your family:


✔️ Financial Protection
Have life insurance or burial coverage
Consider prepaid funeral plans
✔️ Direct Beneficiaries
Make sure all bank accounts have designated beneficiaries
This allows access with just an ID and death certificate
✔️ Protect Your Home


File a Transfer on Death (TOD) deed


This helps your home pass directly to your chosen person without probate
The Documents That Speak for You When You Can’t
Putting your wishes in writing is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind:

  • Living Will outlines your healthcare wishes
  • Durable Power of Attorney handles legal decisions
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney handles medical decisions
  • Last Will and Testament determines who receives your belongings
  • Funeral Planning Declaration states your final wishes
  • These do not have to be complicated. They just need to clearly reflect your wishes.


Make It Easy for the People You Love
One of the most overlooked steps is also one of the most important.
Create a master list of:

  • Bank accounts
  • Investments
  • Credit cards
  • Bills and utilities


Make sure someone knows:
Where your life insurance policies are
Where to find titles for vehicles and property
How to access your accounts and passwords


Because in today’s world, access is everything.


The Conversation That Matters Most


Talk to your family.
Even when it feels awkward.
Even when they do not want to hear it.
Tell them your wishes. Explain your decisions. Let them ask questions.
What feels uncomfortable now becomes clarity later.
It’s Not About the End. It’s About Love.
We cannot control what happens tomorrow.
But we can control how prepared we are today.
So maybe tonight, between dinner and dishes, you start a different kind of conversation.
Not a scary one.
A loving one.
Because true peace of mind is not just knowing your family is okay today.
It is knowing they will be okay no matter what.

Love and light! 😉

Legacy planning
Debt help

And the verdict….ehhh…not really clear

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

SO if you read recently you know that the hubs was down for a week in the hospital. They diagnosed pancreatitis in the ER and admitted him to treat this condition with one doctor overseeing his care. This doctor then called in a GI specialist who ordered more tests, all the while we are “treating” the pancreatitis by not eating. The GI doctor dismisses the pancreatitis and orders a hida scan and an EGD, one test will look at gallbladder function and another will see whether or not there is an ulcer in his stomach. Well the verdict came back and the EGD was not even performed. My husband’s gallbladder is just plain not functioning. This makes it necessary to have surgery. I can deal with surgery. I have had this surgery. My oldest child has had this surgery. It really isn’t a big deal but it still does not explain that swollen spleen and elevated white count that landed us on this journey. I did notice that they were giving him IV antibiotics though something that previous visits had ignored. I by no means have a medical degree but I have been around enough medical to know that an elevated white count indicates an infection even if you cannot find out where that infection is at….to me that is a no-brainer. SO aside from treating the infection his previous symptoms are disregarded and we focus on the gallbladder. I am glad it is out. He also had an intestinal blockage, but no one really explained that one to us. While I am not stupid I am also not pleased that right after the surgery no one came to speak to me, I waited watching aboard for hours!!! HOURS!! I watched the surgical board for 3 hours while my husband was out of sight and moved from holding to in procedure to in recovery. The procedure took a little more than an hour and I waited and I paced, and I read Facebook posts, as I waited for someone to come and tell me that everything was ok. I never once talked to the surgeon. I was completely helpless to do anything for my husband except pray and these people these professionals completely disregarded me!!! I was scared after a while. I sat with another family as they waited and asked if the surgeon had come to speak to them afterwards and they said he had, I didn’t get that. The surgery waiting room cleared out as this family was told their patient was being moved to her room. And I sat some more…and watched as people passed by…And then an angel asked if she could help me. I told her that I had sat and stared at this board for 3 hours waiting to get some word from at least a nurse and I hadn’t. They told my husband that I was not there. I was there!!! I went to get a drink and to the chapel to pray. Unfortunately the chapel was just a room with chairs because the entire campus is under construction. But I digress….

The answer we got overall was that the pain was his gallbladder and an underlying infection that was not definitive. He got exceptional treatment form the entire staff and I will happily get over my hurt feelings if this is indeed the answer to our prayers and that this pain is over and done with.

So whether it is pancratitis or if the gallbladder was the answer. Either way we know what to o for it now. I am off to enjoy some down time and maybe get some sleep.