Tag: grief

The Exhale Is a Scream (And a Glass of Cold Tea)

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Friday, September 4

I sat down to write a normal Friday post, but I can’t pretend things are normal. I can’t write a neat little wrap-up about finding peace when everything around us feels like it’s fraying at the edges.

Look at the news on any given day. People tearing each other apart online for sport. Road rage taking lives over a momentary inconvenience. Healthcare systems treating human suffering like an expense sheet. Three children lose their lives and the system runs with the easiest, fastest theory instead of asking the terrifying, necessary questions.

And then, as if the daily weight of the world wasn’t heavy enough, we lose the light-keepers. In a single week, voices like Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, Peter Cullen, and Samuel Monroe Jr. are gone. The anchors feel like they’re snapping.

What the hell are we supposed to do with all this grief?

Because here’s the absurd part: the world keeps spinning. The bills still come. The laundry still sits in the basket. We still have to show up, do the work, and figure out how to live a beautiful life without letting the weight of everything else crush us to dust.

So how do we do it?

Do we lay it at the cross? Do we dance, dream, and persevere anyway? Do we hold tight to our daily rituals and thank God for every quiet moment of mercy?

Maybe it’s all of the above. And maybe today, it’s stepping away from the screens, stepping outside—even if it is air-fryer hot—touching the grass, and taking a sip of ice-cold tea.

Maybe it’s letting yourself have a good, ugly cry. As Steel Magnolias reminded us, laughter through tears is the best emotion. You’re allowed to scream into a pillow, feel the rage, mourn the losses, and still choose to bake, build, love, and keep going.

The exhale isn’t always neat. Today, it’s a scream, a prayer, a cry, and a deep breath. You aren’t crazy for feeling the weight of it all. Just don’t forget to take your step back.

The Forced Exhale

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation



We are stepping away from the alphabet today. No letters, no structured frameworks, and no systems to analyze. Just a collective, heavy sigh before we head into the weekend.
I’ve spent a lot of time recently talking about the necessity of a pause, but if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t gracefully choose this quiet space. I was dragged into it. For anyone built with a “full steam ahead” default setting, resting feels a lot like quitting. We tell ourselves, “Just one more project,” “Just through this next week,” or “I’ll rest when everything is in order.”
But here is the brutal truth I’ve had to face lately: if you do not choose a time to rest, your body will eventually pick a time for you. And its choice is never convenient.
When you ignore the subtle warning signs—the creeping fatigue, the physical aches, the mental fog—your body eventually pulls the emergency brake. That’s where I’ve found myself, dealing with health issues that completely sidelined my best-laid plans. It turns out, you can’t negotiate with an exhausted nervous system or an ailing physical frame. It doesn’t care about your deadlines, your blog schedule, or the life you thought you’d be effortlessly managing at 50.
So this weekend isn’t just a casual break for me; it’s a necessary, forced evacuation from my own ambition.
Getting your life in order doesn’t always look like organizing a space or checking off a goal. Sometimes, getting yourself in order means surrendering to the couch. It means admitting that you are human, that your energy is finite, and that the world will not stop turning if you step away from the wheel for a few days.
If you are currently running on fumes, trying to outrun your own physical limits or the heavy grief that crops up when you finally slow down, please don’t wait for the crash. Don’t wait for your body to force your hand.
Let this Friday be your choice. Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Leave the unfinished projects exactly where they are—they will survive without you until Monday.
Take the breath now, on your own terms. Let’s exhale.

G is for Grief, Grace, and Gratitude…

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation



When I started mapping out this alphabet series, I had a neat, tidy plan. But life doesn’t always care about our editorial calendars. Lately, my health has thrown up some major roadblocks, forcing me into a position where I’ve had to literally pause.
For someone who loves to run full steam ahead with big plans, hitting the brakes like this is incredibly frustrating. It requires a massive step back to get myself in order, to heal, and to rest. But as I sit in this forced quiet, I’m realizing that the letter G isn’t just one simple concept. It’s a delicate, powerful trifecta: Grief, Grace, and Gratitude.
Grief: Hitting the pause button doesn’t stop the grief we carry; if anything, the quiet makes it louder. And it’s not just grief over a paused schedule. It’s the kind that shows up every single day in ways you don’t expect—the sudden, sharp reminder of loved ones lost, or the quiet ache of mourning the life you thought you would be living now that you’re 50. It’s a heavy thing to carry when your physical body is already tired.
Grace: This is where I am forced to practice what I preach. Grace means giving myself permission to take a step back from my full-steam-ahead plans without viewing it as a failure. It’s letting go of the guilt of the unfinished checklist and understanding that getting myself in order isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
Gratitude: Even in the midst of physical frustration, unexpected grief, and shifted expectations, gratitude doesn’t stop. It coexists right alongside the pain. I am deeply thankful for the quiet, the safety to rest, and the love that surrounds me. Gratitude doesn’t cancel out the hardship, but it gives me a solid place to anchor my soul while I heal.
If you are currently facing a forced pause—whether you’re navigating health challenges, wrestling with the realities of a milestone age, or just trying to catch your breath—know that you don’t have to choose just one emotion. You can hold space for the grief of what was and what might have been, extend yourself the grace to rest right where you are, and still find the gratitude to keep your heart open.
The plans will still be there when we are ready to run again. For today, the pause is exactly where we need to be.

The Weight and the Warmth of June 19th

by Mothersense, posted in This Life


The calendar tells us that Friday, June 19th is Juneteenth—a day designated for collective reflection, freedom, and celebration. But for me, the date always pulls me backward into a deeply personal history. It forces a quiet pause in the middle of summer. It rewinds the clock to 2019, to a road trip to Louisiana, and to a room filled with a heavy, holy kind of love.
June 19th was my precious Uncle John’s birthday. For probably twenty years or more, if you asked him his age, he’d grin and tell you he was “39 and holding.” But on that specific Wednesday in 2019, time was finally catching up. My sisters and I traveled down to see him, knowing we were stepping into a celebration that was also a final, fragile goodbye. He was about to be transitioned to comfort care.
The air in the room was heavy. We each took a turn to have a moment alone with him. When my turn came, I leaned in close. I leaned into the space between this world and whatever comes next, and I whispered into his ear that it was okay to go. I told him that Jeff would take care of me now. I’m not entirely sure how aware he was in that moment, but whispering those words into the quiet of the room was a balm for my own aching heart.
Then, the priest arrived to perform the anointing of the sick. Because Uncle John was a deacon, he shared a long, deeply rooted history with the priest—a brotherhood of faith and service. Yet, in the middle of all that sorrow, a strange and beautiful thing happened. The priest looked at me, knew exactly who I was, and called me by my name. “Emeline’s daughter,” he recognized. Uncle John had woven stories of me into his life and friendships long before those final days. He had carried me in his conversations for years, just as he carried me in his heart.
I still sit with that moment. I think about it every June 19th, right before the anniversary of his passing on June 20th. I look up at the sky and whisper back to him, hoping with everything I have that I am making him proud.
The Magic of a Louisiana Kitchen
When the grief settles into something softer, it usually leads me straight to the stove.
Truthfully, I was blessed with a family of cooks. Uncle John and Aunt Mertie weren’t the only ones who let me sit and pepper them with a million questions while they worked. But being in those Louisiana kitchens? That was a different kind of magic entirely.
Growing up, learning from Mom or Granny had its own rhythm, rooted in the familiar comfort of daily life. But stepping into Uncle John and Aunt Mertie’s kitchen felt like entering a sacred, vibrant sanctuary of flavor and storytelling. The humidity, the slow simmer of a roux, the effortless dance between them as they threw together dishes that tasted like pure love—it was an education in hospitality. They didn’t do it through formal lessons; they taught me simply by letting me exist in their space, answering every curious question a young girl could dream up.
To pass down a legacy is to answer the questions of the curious girl standing by the counter, watching you create.
God, I miss them. I miss the laughter, the Louisiana warmth, and the safe harbor of their home. But every time I replicate a flavor, test the seasoning, or cook with that patient, soul-filled instinct they modeled for me, they are right there.
So this Friday, while the world celebrates, I’ll be holding a quiet space for the deacon who was forever 39, for the mother who came before me, and for the beautiful, heartbreaking privilege of having people in our lives who are this terribly hard to lose.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Johnny. I hope the kitchen in heaven is everything you ever wanted.

The Cost of “I’ll Do It Later” (And How to Pivot Today)

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation


Life has a way of moving faster than our paperwork. We go through seasons—the “topsy-turvy” months where everything feels like it’s shifting under our feet. Maybe it’s a career change, a shift in the family dynamic, or just the realization that the “Second Half” of life is approaching faster than we thought.
When things get messy, the first thing we usually neglect is the fine print. But here is the truth: Your intentions mean very little if your documentation is out of date.
The Beneficiary Blindspot
Think about the life insurance policy you bought years ago, or that old 401(k) from three jobs back. Who is the beneficiary? Is it an ex-partner? A parent who has passed on? A child who is now an adult?
It’s not just about insurance. It’s your bank accounts, your retirement funds, and your legal titles. If the names on those documents don’t match your current reality, the state—not your heart—decides where your hard-earned legacy goes.
Starting the “Awkward” Conversation
I know why we wait. These conversations feel heavy. They feel like you’re inviting the “what-ifs” into the room. But I’ve learned that a moment of awkwardness is a small price to pay for a lifetime of protection.
Whether you are looking at your first policy or realizing your current coverage is a “fiasco” that doesn’t fit your life anymore, the most important thing you can do is start. You don’t have to have all the answers; you just have to have the courage to ask the questions.
You Don’t Have to Walk it Alone
I’ve spent my life learning that resilience isn’t just about surviving the storm—it’s about building a sturdy house before the wind starts blowing. If you’re feeling bogged down or overwhelmed by where to begin, I can help.
I can help you audit where you are, identify the gaps, and direct you to the right subject matter experts to ensure your family is shielded from the “what-ifs.”
Let’s Secure Your “Second Half”
Don’t let your legacy be decided by a document you forgot to update. Let’s have the conversation today so your family doesn’t have to have it during a crisis tomorrow

Julie Kilcrease
Licensed Life Insurance Agent | Texas
NPN: 21375920
Helping Texas families build a bridge to a secure second half.

Contact me here