Tag: self-care

I’m Not the Mom I Thought I’d Be — And That’s Okay

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation, This Life



When I first became a mom, I had ideas.

Not just little ones, but full pictures in my head of how life would look.

What kind of mom I would be.
What kind of home I would create.
Who my kids would grow up to become.

I did not think of it as expectations at the time.
It felt more like hope.

I wanted a doctor.
Two nurses.
A veterinarian.

I wanted stability for them.
Security.
A life that felt a little more certain than the one I had known.

And I worked hard toward that in my own way.
Raising them.
Showing up.
Trying to guide them toward what I thought would give them the best future.

But life does not follow the plans we make in our heads.

And kids are not meant to become our plans.

They are meant to become themselves.

Somewhere along the way, I had to face a quiet truth.

My kids are not who I once imagined they would be.

They are not following the paths I pictured.
They are not fitting into the neat little futures I had hoped for.

And for a moment, that felt like loss.

Not because there is anything wrong with them.
But because I had to let go of the version of their lives that existed in my mind.

That is a hard thing to admit.

As parents, we do not like to say that part out loud.

But here is what I know now.

My kids are good people.

They are strong in ways that do not show up on paper.
They are learning, growing, struggling, and figuring life out in real time.

And they still call me.

When things get hard.
When they need advice.
When they just need someone to listen.

That means something.

Maybe everything.

Because at the end of the day, that was always the goal, even if I did not realize it at the time.

Not perfection.
Not a specific career path.
Not a life that looks impressive from the outside.

But connection.

Trust.

A relationship that lasts beyond childhood.

I am not the mom I thought I would be either.

I have changed.
Life has changed me.

There are things I would do differently if I could go back.
There are things I have had to learn the hard way.

And there are moments where I have questioned myself more than I ever expected to.

But I am still here.

Still showing up.
Still loving them the best way I know how.
Still learning alongside them instead of trying to control the outcome.

And maybe that is what motherhood really is.

Not raising perfect kids.
Not following a perfect plan.

But walking beside imperfect humans as they figure out who they are.

And learning to let them.

So no, my life does not look like I thought it would.

My kids are not who I once imagined.

And I am not the mom I expected to be.

But we are real.

We are connected.

We are still choosing each other, over and over again.

And that is more than enough.

Surviving Overwhelm: Mental Health Tips for Today

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Coping With Mental Health in Trying Times: Surviving the Storm When Everything Feels Overwhelming

There are moments in life when it feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on you. The kind of moments where everything seems to be stacking up—the bills are piling high, school is back in session, and the news feels like a relentless wave of tragedy. The pressure builds, leaving you running on fumes, emotionally drained, and unsure of how much more you can take.

Right now, many of us are living through a perfect storm of challenges. The reality of rising costs, personal responsibilities, and the heavy weight of constant bad news can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and even numb. If you feel like you’re just taking it day by day, doing your best to survive, you’re not alone. And while these times are undeniably difficult, there are ways to cope, find balance, and regain a sense of peace. Here are some strategies to help you navigate the mental strain of living through these trying times in America.

1. Acknowledge the Reality of What You’re Feeling

One of the hardest parts of mental strain is the guilt that often comes with it. We’ve been conditioned to push through, to “keep going” no matter what. But it’s okay to not be okay. When life is overwhelming, acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward healing. Whether you’re angry, scared, numb, or sad, allow yourself the space to sit with those emotions without judgment. You don’t have to be “better” or “stronger” every single moment.

When you name your emotions, you take the first step toward regaining control. Feeling overwhelmed is a natural response to these challenging times, but it doesn’t define you. By validating your emotions, you allow yourself permission to cope, heal, and move forward.

2. Practice Radical Self-Care (Yes, It’s Important!)

Self-care has become a buzzword in recent years, but it’s not just about face masks and bubble baths—it’s about setting boundaries and prioritizing your mental and physical health. In times of stress, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself, but the reality is that without a solid foundation, it’s harder to weather the storms of life.

Start with small, achievable acts of self-care that nourish your body and mind. This could mean:

  • Sleep: Rest is non-negotiable. When you’re running on empty, a solid night’s sleep is essential for emotional and mental recovery.
  • Nutrition: Eat nourishing foods that give your body the energy it needs to tackle the day, even if it’s just a balanced snack.
  • Movement: Whether it’s a walk, yoga, or a dance party in your living room, moving your body can release stress and elevate your mood.
  • Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness or meditation, even if it’s just five minutes of deep breathing. The present moment is all we have, and grounding yourself can offer some much-needed relief.

3. Limit Your Media Consumption

It can feel like the world is burning down when you’re constantly glued to the news. From national tragedies to political chaos, the media can feel overwhelming and relentless. While staying informed is important, there’s a fine line between being aware and being consumed by it.

Consider setting boundaries on how much news you consume daily, and make time for things that uplift you. Try a digital detox—take a day off from social media, limit your news intake, and focus on things that bring you joy, whether that’s reading a book, spending time with loved ones, or enjoying nature.

4. Reevaluate Your Priorities

When life feels like it’s in constant crisis mode, it’s easy to get caught up in the demands of work, school, finances, and responsibilities. But sometimes, it’s important to step back and ask yourself: What’s really important right now?

  • Can you delegate some tasks to make life a little less overwhelming?
  • Are there things you can let go of, even temporarily, to give yourself space to breathe?
  • Do you have the energy to take on everything on your plate right now, or is it okay to ask for help?

Setting boundaries around your time and energy is not only okay—it’s necessary. Whether it’s saying “no” to an extra project at work or asking a friend or family member for help with errands, reclaiming your personal time is essential for mental health.

5. Find Support in Your Community

You don’t have to go through tough times alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or a therapist, talking about your feelings can help you feel seen, heard, and less isolated. Sharing the burden with others, even if it’s just a text or a phone call, can make a world of difference.

If you’re not already, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapists and counselors are trained to help you navigate difficult emotions and offer tools for coping. Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a way to strengthen your resilience and build healthy coping mechanisms for the future.

6. Focus on What You Can Control

In times of chaos, focusing on the things you can control helps to ground you. You may not be able to change the headlines or the world’s circumstances, but you can take control of how you respond.

Maybe that means focusing on your daily routine, budgeting your finances, or creating small, achievable goals. When things feel out of control, taking one step at a time toward something you can manage brings back a sense of agency.

7. Find Purpose in the Chaos

It’s easy to feel lost and overwhelmed when things are falling apart around you. But sometimes, finding a sense of purpose can bring clarity. This might mean reconnecting with your passions, getting involved in your community, or finding new ways to help others.

When we’re able to focus on something larger than ourselves, it can put the stresses of life into perspective. Helping others or contributing to a cause can also bring a sense of fulfillment and connection that’s hard to find in times of isolation.

8. Remember, You’re Not Alone

Living in America right now can feel uniquely stressful—whether it’s economic struggles, political tensions, or social upheaval, the strain can feel heavy. But in these moments, remember: You are not alone. Millions of people are navigating these same challenges, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. It’s okay to lean on others, to ask for help, and to give yourself the grace you need to heal.

In these tough times, survival might look different for each of us. It might mean focusing on day-to-day coping strategies, seeking therapy, or simply taking a break from the news. Whatever your journey looks like, remember that it’s okay to not have all the answers, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time.

Conclusion: Keep Going, One Day at a Time

The light at the end of the tunnel may seem dim right now, but it is there, even if it’s hard to see. Each day you keep going is a victory. You’re doing your best, and that’s all you can do. Be kind to yourself. Take small steps to care for your mental health, and remember that it’s okay to seek support. In trying times, surviving isn’t just about enduring—it’s about finding ways to thrive, no matter how small those steps may seem.

If you’re struggling, know that there is help, and there is hope. Keep pushing forward, and know that brighter days are ahead.

love and light y’all!!!

The ABCs of Mental Health: Small Changes for Big Impact

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Focusing on What We Can Control

Life can feel overwhelming at times, especially when we face challenges that are outside of our control. Worrying about the “what ifs” can keep us stuck, anxious, and drained. But when it comes to our mental health, one of the most powerful lessons we can learn is this:

Peace of mind comes when we focus on what we can control and let go of what we cannot.

The ABCs of mental health remind us that there are practical areas of our lives we can manage—daily choices that influence how we feel, how we cope, and how we show up for ourselves and others.

Let’s walk through some of the most important ones:

A – Awareness of What We Consume

We may not be able to control every thought that crosses our mind or every stressor that shows up in our day, but we can control what we allow into our bodies and minds.

  • Food: What we eat impacts not just our physical health but also our mental clarity and mood. A balanced diet rich in whole foods, water, fruits, and vegetables helps stabilize energy and emotions.
  • Media: What we consume online matters. Too much negative news or endless scrolling can fuel anxiety. Setting boundaries around social media and media consumption is a healthy choice we do control.

Being intentional with consumption—whether food, information, or energy—gives us strength and clarity.

B – Balance in Finances

Money is one of the leading causes of stress for individuals and families. While we cannot always control unexpected expenses or the economy, we can control how we spend, save, and plan.

  • Create a budget that supports your goals instead of drains your paycheck.
  • Choose mindful spending habits—distinguish between needs and wants.
  • Build an emergency fund, even if it’s just a small step at a time.

Financial peace doesn’t come from being wealthy—it comes from being intentional with the resources we already have.

C – Care Through Movement

Our bodies are designed to move. Exercise isn’t just about physical appearance; it is one of the most powerful tools we have for boosting mental health.

  • A brisk walk can clear your mind.
  • Stretching can release tension from stress.
  • Strength training or yoga can rebuild confidence and resilience.

We may not control every health diagnosis or physical limitation, but we can choose to move our bodies in ways that nourish us.

D – Deep Rest and Sleep

Sleep is often overlooked, yet it is vital for mental health. Yes, sometimes our minds race and rest feels hard to come by, but we can take steps to create a healthier sleep environment.

  • Stick to a regular sleep schedule.
  • Limit screens before bedtime.
  • Create a calming routine with reading, prayer, or meditation.
  • Keep your room cool, dark, and quiet.

We may not always control when sleep comes easily, but we can build habits that make rest more likely.

Letting Go Brings Freedom

When we shift our energy toward what we can influence, we take back power that stress and anxiety try to steal. The truth is:

  • We can’t control every circumstance.
  • We can’t control the choices of others.
  • We can’t control the unexpected.

But we can control how we respond, what we prioritize, and the daily actions that nurture our body, mind, and spirit.

And when we let go of what we cannot control, we make room for peace of mind, resilience, and growth.

✅ Your challenge this week: Pick just one area—food, finances, exercise, or sleep—and make a small but intentional change. Remember, it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress, awareness, and focusing on the ABCs of what truly matters.

It’s Okay to Be Selfish with Your Time—In Fact, You *Should* Be

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Time is the one resource we can never get back. We can earn more money. We can rebuild relationships. But once a moment passes, it’s gone forever. That’s why being *intentional*—and sometimes unapologetically selfish—with your time is not just okay, it’s essential.We live in a world that glorifies being busy. We’re constantly asked to do more, give more, be more. But constantly pouring into others without refilling yourself is a recipe for burnout, resentment, and even health issues. Here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

It’s okay to say no to that fundraiser. It’s okay to skip the party, even if everyone else is going. It’s okay to let a friend know, “Hey, I love you, but my social battery is low right now. I need to rest.” This isn’t being selfish in the negative sense—it’s *self-preservation*. Protecting your peace, your energy, and your time is an act of self-respect. Every commitment you make—every “yes”—costs you something. Time, energy, money, mental bandwidth. And those things are finite.When you protect your time, you’re actually being honest about your priorities. And sometimes, those priorities need to be **you**: your health, your mental wellbeing, your finances, your peace. That’s not only acceptable—it’s *wise*.Because when you’re well-rested, grounded, and financially stable, you’re *better* for everyone around you. You’re a better friend, parent, partner, coworker, neighbor. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re filters. They help you protect what matters most.

So let this be your permission slip:

Say no.

Stay home.

Log off.

Take the nap.

Prioritize the workout.

Decline the call.

Your time is precious. Treat it like it is. You deserve to be the main character in your own life—not just a supporting role in everyone else’s.–love and light y’all

Finding Balance: Overcoming the Need to Constantly Achieve

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

The Illusion of “Not Enough”:

Have you ever collapsed at the end of the day, feeling exhausted but still haunted by the thought that you didn’t do enough? Maybe you checked off multiple tasks, met deadlines, and even tackled a few extra chores, yet there’s a nagging voice whispering, You could have done more.

This feeling is so common, yet it’s rarely questioned. Why do we feel this way? Why does our brain insist on measuring our worth by how much we accomplish?

The Name for That Nagging Feeling

What you’re experiencing has a name: productivity guilt. It’s the psychological burden of feeling like you haven’t done enough, even when you’ve been productive. It often stems from a mix of societal pressure, personal expectations, and the ever-present hustle culture that tells us we should always be striving for more.

A close cousin of this feeling is imposter syndrome, where no matter how much you achieve, it never seems sufficient. Both can create a cycle of self-doubt, stress, and burnout—an exhausting loop where you’re never truly satisfied with your efforts.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

Our modern world thrives on output, measuring success in terms of productivity. We’re conditioned to believe that our value is tied to what we do, rather than who we are. Social media doesn’t help—scrolling through endless posts of people seemingly achieving more can fuel the belief that we’re falling behind.

But here’s the truth: you are not a machine. You are not meant to operate at peak efficiency all the time. Rest, slowness, and even unproductive days are part of being human.

Some Days Will Be This Way—And That’s Okay

Not every day will be a high-output day. Some days, your energy will be lower. Some days, your body or mind will demand rest. And some days, despite your best efforts, things just won’t go as planned.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re living.

Be gentle with yourself. Progress isn’t about constant motion; it’s about balance. Your worth isn’t defined by how much you accomplish in a single day.

So, if today didn’t go as planned, take a deep breath. You are enough. You have done enough. And tomorrow is a new day.