Author: Mothersense

I am a mother to wonderfully challenging children. I married my best friend. Eternal Student. Amateur Photographer. Friend. Caregiver. I taught English in public schools for 2 years and am now working at home proofreading and copywriting and working in financial services. I write about my experiences in life and those of loved ones.

Pausing the Alphabet Series: Why September Hits Close to Home

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation
Golden flowing lines spiral around a bright central glow on indigo
WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

September is Suicide Awareness Month, and I am pausing my alphabet series to get into the thick of it.

I cannot count on one hand the people I have loved and known who committed suicide. It has been something that has touched my life in very profound ways, not to mention the number of people I have encountered who have attempted suicide. It’s a very heavy topic, and it hits home for me—my own children, my husband, assorted friends and family.

A few of them did not just attempt; they left this Earthly plane because the pain and the weight were far too heavy for their souls. It wrecks me each time I think of them—think of the tremendous pain they must have felt to be so desperate for it to stop that they stopped their own hearts, leaving us to go on and endure the after. Because with loss, there is always a before and an after.

And I do not want to just focus on the aftermath.

The scope of this pain reaches far beyond what any of us see on the surface. Globally, the World Health Organization estimates that over 720,000 people take their own lives every single year—meaning someone is lost to suicide roughly every 40 seconds. In the United States alone, suicide remains a leading cause of death, claiming nearly 49,000 lives annually, with an estimated 2 million Americans making a suicide attempt each year. Behind every single one of those numbers is a story, a family, and a life that mattered.

I want anyone reading this to know: the grief is deep, but if you feel as if you are drowning, pause, please. Know that someone will listen, someone will bear the weight WITH you. Have a snack, take a nap, STAY another day.

For now: Justin, Clayton, Dewayne, Hunter, Carla, Jacob, Chase, and a few others I will not name… we miss you every day.

If you are reading this, YOU MATTER. You WILL be missed, and you CAN get through this dark time. Please reach out to someone who can help.

Need Help? You Are Not Alone.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. You don’t have to carry this alone.

  • United States:
    • Call or Text: Dial 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It is free, confidential, available 24/7, and offers support in English and Spanish.
    • Text Support: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line.
    • LGBTQ+ Youth: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678 to reach The Trevor Project.
    • Veterans: Dial 988, then press 1, or text 838255 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.
  • International Resources:
    • Canada: Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide Crisis Helpline.
    • United Kingdom: Call 111 to reach the NHS mental health services, or call 116 123 for Samaritans.
    • Australia: Call 13 11 14 for Lifeline.
    • Find Help Anywhere in the World: If you are outside these areas, please visit findahelpline.com or befrienders.org to find free, confidential support in your country.

The Exhale Is a Scream (And a Glass of Cold Tea)

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Friday, September 4

I sat down to write a normal Friday post, but I can’t pretend things are normal. I can’t write a neat little wrap-up about finding peace when everything around us feels like it’s fraying at the edges.

Look at the news on any given day. People tearing each other apart online for sport. Road rage taking lives over a momentary inconvenience. Healthcare systems treating human suffering like an expense sheet. Three children lose their lives and the system runs with the easiest, fastest theory instead of asking the terrifying, necessary questions.

And then, as if the daily weight of the world wasn’t heavy enough, we lose the light-keepers. In a single week, voices like Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, Peter Cullen, and Samuel Monroe Jr. are gone. The anchors feel like they’re snapping.

What the hell are we supposed to do with all this grief?

Because here’s the absurd part: the world keeps spinning. The bills still come. The laundry still sits in the basket. We still have to show up, do the work, and figure out how to live a beautiful life without letting the weight of everything else crush us to dust.

So how do we do it?

Do we lay it at the cross? Do we dance, dream, and persevere anyway? Do we hold tight to our daily rituals and thank God for every quiet moment of mercy?

Maybe it’s all of the above. And maybe today, it’s stepping away from the screens, stepping outside—even if it is air-fryer hot—touching the grass, and taking a sip of ice-cold tea.

Maybe it’s letting yourself have a good, ugly cry. As Steel Magnolias reminded us, laughter through tears is the best emotion. You’re allowed to scream into a pillow, feel the rage, mourn the losses, and still choose to bake, build, love, and keep going.

The exhale isn’t always neat. Today, it’s a scream, a prayer, a cry, and a deep breath. You aren’t crazy for feeling the weight of it all. Just don’t forget to take your step back.

P is for Patience, Pace, and Purpose

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation


Looking back over August, this chapter has been defined by three words that are keeping me anchored through the unknown: Patience, Pace, and Purpose.
Patience
This season is teaching me that conserving energy isn’t just about avoiding physical lifting—it’s about protecting my mental energy, too. Pushing my brain too hard can cause just as big of a setback. With undiagnosed low iron finally being addressed, I’ve had to learn the hard discipline of asking for help (which I absolutely hate doing!). Patience right now looks like honoring my body’s strict terms and accepting that healing is a slow, steady process.
Pace
To get through each day without crashing, I’ve had to invent a completely new rhythm: a 5-minute task followed by a 15-minute rest. It is a crazy balancing act, but it is the only way I can choose my projects carefully and still move forward. I’m giving myself grace for the slow pace, knowing that every 5-minute block of effort is a building block for my recovery.
Purpose
Even with a measured pace, my purpose hasn’t dimmed for a second. The groundwork I’m laying now will pay off. My publishing LLC is set to launch this October, and my insurance business branding should be wrapped up in the next 60 days. Everything else can wait. My body is resting, my mental load is guarded, but my future is locked in place.
As August closes, I am resting on my own terms, guarding my strength, and pacing myself toward everything coming this fall.

Friday Exhale: Learning to Be Still

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation


I’m pouring a warm cup of chamomile tea tonight, settling in with a good book, and letting my shoulders drop.
After weeks of managing doctor appointments and keeping business plans moving, this Friday evening is about learning a new kind of discipline: the art of literally vegetating and meditating when my body tells me to. My biggest fight right now isn’t with the rest of the world; it’s with my own brain when it whispers, “Just do one more thing…” I have to remind myself, Uhm, no! Overdoing it only slows down my healing. Some days I have enough energy to get a few things done, while other days I’m literally having to drink my nutrition just to rebuild my strength.
Weekends are honestly the hardest part. My husband is a natural cleaner and a doer, and seeing me out of commission can leave him feeling like he’s spinning his wheels. We aren’t as active right now as we used to be, and I constantly remind him that this pause is only temporary. We will get back to our road trips, dancing in the kitchen, and cooking dinners together soon enough.
In the meantime, my favorite moments are when we just shut out the world, listen to music, or turn on a movie. I love that he simply lets me be, right here beside him.
I’m taking a deep breath, sipping my tea, and giving myself full permission to rest this weekend.

O is for Overcoming, Ownership, and Open Doors

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation


When I find myself sitting in the middle of a long, quiet season, it can easily feel as though my life is on pause. Yet underneath the slow pace, real work is still happening. As I look at where I stand today, three words keep anchoring my thoughts: Overcoming, Ownership, and Open Doors.
Overcoming
Every single day I choose to keep building—despite low energy, physical setbacks, and unanswered medical questions—I am overcoming. It doesn’t always show up as a grand, dramatic victory. Most days, overcoming looks like writing one clear line, filing one piece of paperwork, or simply allowing my body to rest without carrying a weight of guilt.
Ownership
There is a quiet strength in stepping up and taking full ownership of my path. From protecting the song lyrics and creative work I’ve built over a lifetime to filing the paperwork for my LLC and stepping into my insurance business, I am claiming what is mine. Taking ownership means honoring every hard chapter that brought me here while standing firmly behind my own name and work.
Open Doors
When I keep showing up, the path begins to clear. Some doors are unlocking quickly; others require me to practice patience while I wait for the right timing and the doctor’s clearance. My focus right now is simply staying prepared, so that when those doors swing fully open, I am ready to step through with total confidence.
Here’s to owning my journey, overcoming the hurdles, and walking toward everything ahead.

May you get to experience your own journey with belief that the best is yet to come!