Sometimes a song doesn’t arrive as a fully formed idea. It slips in sideways. A single line. A feeling you can’t shake. A truth that feels a little too loud to say out loud.
For me, one of those moments came wrapped in a lyric that hit harder than I expected:
“If I’m too much, go find less.”
I can’t take credit for that line — it comes from Elyse Meyers — but the second I heard it, it felt like someone had reached into my chest and put words to something I’d been carrying for a long time.
Even though I’d had similar thoughts, I’d never said them that clean, that sharp. That honest.
And that’s what stuck with me.
Because it didn’t come from confidence. Not at first. It came from that raw, uncomfortable place where you realize how often you’ve been shrinking yourself to fit into spaces that were never built for you.
I’ve spent years being a lot of things to a lot of people. Mom. Wife. Student. Teacher. The reliable one. The strong one. The one who keeps it all together. And somewhere in all of that, there were pieces of me I kept sanding down. Softer. Quieter. Easier to hold.
More “acceptable.”
But that line? That line was the snap.
It was the moment the narrative shifted from “Am I too much?” to “Why am I apologizing for being enough?”
That’s where the song started to take shape.
—
The First Spark
When I wrote that lyric, I wasn’t thinking about structure or genre or where it would fit. I was thinking about every time I bit my tongue. Every time I softened a truth. Every time I made myself smaller so someone else could stay comfortable.
That one line carried all of that.
So instead of building a song around an idea, I built the idea around that line.
What does it look like to stop apologizing?
What does it sound like to own your edges instead of hiding them?
What does it feel like to finally say, this is who I am — take it or leave it?
—
Letting It Get a Little Wild
At first, the song leaned reflective. Almost restrained. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized that wasn’t honest.
Because the truth isn’t quiet.
The truth, for me, was a little feral.
It had teeth.
It laughed too loud. It made questionable choices. It lit the match instead of walking away from the fire.
So I leaned into that.
I let the verses get bolder. Messier. More unapologetic. I stopped trying to make the narrator likable and started making her real.
That’s when the song found its voice.
—
Writing for Me, Not for Approval
There’s a version of songwriting where you’re always thinking about the listener. What will they like? What will land? What will sell?
And then there’s the version where you tell the truth first.
This song demanded the second version.
It wasn’t about being polished. It wasn’t about being palatable. It was about being honest in a way that felt a little dangerous.
Because if I’m being real, the line “If I’m too much, go find less” isn’t just a lyric.
It’s a boundary.
It’s a declaration.
It’s a refusal to keep editing myself down to a version that’s easier for someone else to hold.
—
The Shape It Took
By the time the song settled into itself, it wasn’t soft anymore.
It had grit. A little swagger. A little chaos.
It became a kind of anthem for that version of me that doesn’t ask permission anymore.
The one who knows exactly who she is — even when that’s inconvenient.
Especially then.
—
Why It Matters
I think we all have a version of ourselves we’ve been told is “too much.”
Too loud. Too emotional. Too driven. Too complicated. Too honest.
And we learn, over time, how to file those edges down.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned through writing this song:
The parts of you they call “too much” are usually the parts that are most you.
And maybe the goal isn’t to fix that.
Maybe the goal is to finally stand in it.
Fully.
Unapologetically.
And if that’s too much for someone?
They’re free to go find less.
—
That’s where this song came from.
Not from perfection.
From truth.
And honestly? That’s the only place worth writing from anymore.
—
The Line That Lit It (Full Circle)
And it still takes me back to that line I didn’t write, but absolutely claimed in spirit — the one from Elyse Meyers that put words to what I’d been circling for years.
Because sometimes the most powerful thing isn’t inventing the truth.
It’s recognizing it when you hear it.
And having the guts to build something honest in response.
—
Lyrics Excerpt
Verse I bent myself to fit the frame Cut my edges, dulled my flame Smiled nice and played it safe Just to keep the peace in place
Pre-Chorus But something in me finally broke Somewhere between the hush and choke
Chorus If I’m too much, go find less I’m done drowning in second-guess I won’t shrink to ease your mind Take it or leave it, this is mine Strike the match, watch it burn I ain’t got a damn thing left to learn If I’m fire you can’t confess If I’m too much, go find less
Bridge A little wild, a little free A little more of who I’m meant to be No more trimming down the truth No more asking for your proof
—
That’s the song that came out of it.
Not borrowed. Not copied. But sparked — by a line that told the truth so clearly, I couldn’t ignore it.
Tag: social-media
Navigating Online Conversations with Kindness
A Powerful Tool, A Costly Battlefield
The internet is one of the most powerful tools ever created. It connects people across the globe, provides access to endless knowledge, and enables communities to grow in ways that were once unimaginable. However, with its power comes responsibility—a responsibility many forget when they engage in conversations online, particularly on social media.
Social media has given everyone a voice, which is both a blessing and a curse. While it allows for the exchange of ideas, advocacy, and connection, it has also become a space where snap judgments, personal attacks, and unkind words are all too common. Many use the veil of online anonymity or distance to say things they would never express in person. The cost of kindness, however, remains the same: absolutely nothing.
The Rise of Online Hostility
The ease of instant communication has brought about an unfortunate trend: the rapid-fire delivery of opinions without thought or empathy. Platforms such as Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram have become battlegrounds where people aggressively defend their views, often at the expense of others. It is not uncommon to see heated arguments escalate into personal insults, with individuals tearing each other down over differences in opinion.
While passionate discussion is an essential part of free speech and progress, it crosses a line when it turns into hostility. The problem is not the expression of opinions, but the manner in which they are expressed. There is a significant difference between constructive criticism and a personal attack. Rather than engaging in meaningful debate, many resort to name-calling, shaming, or ridiculing others simply for having a different perspective.
The Hidden Struggles Behind the Screen
We must remember that behind every profile picture and username is a real person with real struggles. Many individuals are fighting battles we cannot see—whether it’s financial instability, mental health issues, job insecurity, or personal trauma. A single harsh comment may be the breaking point for someone who is already experiencing hardship. Words have weight, and thoughtless negativity only adds to the burden someone is carrying.
Online bullying and cyber harassment have real-world consequences. Studies have shown that negative online interactions contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. Some individuals have even been driven to self-harm or suicide due to the relentless negativity they face online. It is crucial that we become more mindful of our digital interactions and recognize that our words can either uplift or destroy.
The Power of Scrolling Past and Choosing Kindness
One of the simplest yet most effective tools we have in the digital world is the ability to scroll past content we do not agree with. Not every post requires a response. We do not have to engage with every opinion that contradicts our own, especially if doing so will lead to hostility. The ability to disengage from negativity is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
Choosing kindness does not mean we have to agree with everyone. It means expressing our thoughts in a way that is firm yet respectful. We can stand our ground, challenge harmful narratives, and engage in discussions without resorting to insults or cruelty. The most effective communicators are those who present their arguments with grace, intelligence, and empathy.
The True Cost of Online Cruelty
The cost of unkindness is much greater than we often realize. When we attack others online, we not only harm the person on the receiving end but also damage our own credibility. When discussions devolve into personal insults, the original point being made is often lost. People are far less likely to take seriously those who resort to aggressive tactics rather than thoughtful discourse.
Furthermore, toxic online environments discourage meaningful participation. When people witness hostility, they may become hesitant to share their thoughts, fearing they will become the next target. This results in a less diverse exchange of ideas and ultimately limits the potential for progress and understanding.
Shaping a More Positive Online Culture
The internet is a reflection of humanity. If we want it to be a better place, we must actively contribute to making it so. Here are some practical ways to promote kindness and positivity online:
- Pause Before You Post: Take a moment to think about the impact of your words before commenting or responding.
- Engage Constructively: Offer insights, ask questions, and encourage open discussion rather than resorting to insults.
- Avoid Reacting Emotionally: If a post makes you angry, step away before responding. Cooler heads prevail in meaningful discussions.
- Report Toxic Behavior: Most platforms allow users to report harassment and bullying. Use these tools to help maintain a safer online environment.
- Be the Example: Lead by example by maintaining a respectful and kind online presence. Positivity is contagious, and small efforts can create a ripple effect.
A Final Thought: Kindness is Free
Kindness is one of the few things in life that costs nothing but has immeasurable value. The internet is filled with enough negativity; let us choose to be a source of light rather than darkness. When we engage with others online, let us do so with integrity, respect, and empathy. Strong beliefs can still be expressed without cruelty. Constructive discussions can take place without personal attacks.
We have the power to shape the digital world into a more respectful and supportive space. It begins with each of us choosing to be mindful of our words and their impact. Engage, discuss, debate, and stand your ground—but do it with kindness. The world, both online and offline, needs more of that.
Oh Those teen boys…
NAVIGATING THE CHALLENGES OF PARENTING A TEEN BOY
Parenting a teenage boy can be a rollercoaster ride filled with highs and lows. As they transition from childhood to adulthood, boys face unique challenges that can impact their mental health. It’s crucial for parents to be aware of these issues and to engage in open conversations about feelings, pressures, and the digital world.
The Challenges of Parenting a Teen Boy
One moment, you might find your son excitedly sharing his dreams for the future, and the next, he could be engulfed in stress from school, friendships, and societal expectations. Teenage boys often struggle with expressing their emotions, which can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation. Unfortunately, he is and isn’t the same sweet boy who wouldn’t leave the room without a hug and an “I love you.” He is that sweet little boy that you have loved and nurtured, but he isn’t because he is changing, his body is foreign to him in some ways. He doesn’t even know sometimes why he does or says things. We can chalk it up to part of growing up and make ourselves aware that parenting teen boys isn’t easy, but keeping a few things in mind we can bring forth kind, loving, and healthy young men.
Mental Health Statistics: A Silent Crisis
While discussions around mental health have become more mainstream, there are still aspects that remain underexplored. For instance, statistics show that suicide is the second leading cause of death among boys aged 15 to 19. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2021, nearly 12% of high school boys reported seriously considering suicide, with around 5% having attempted it.
Furthermore, self-harm is alarmingly prevalent among teenage boys. A 2020 study found that approximately 7% of boys had engaged in self-injurious behavior. These statistics reveal a hidden crisis that isn’t often addressed openly, especially in conversations about teenage mental health.
The Impact of Bullying
Bullying can exacerbate mental health issues among teens. The National Center for Educational Statistics (NCES) reports that about 20% of students aged 12-18 experienced bullying. Boys are often targeted for their interests, appearance, or perceived weaknesses, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and despair. Sometimes it is even within their own friend group and the boys themselves don’t even realize the harm they are causing. I don’t think any teen boy wants to see his friend in despair.
Breaking the Silence
Despite the alarming statistics, many parents feel unprepared to discuss mental health, bullying, or the pressures their sons face. The stigma surrounding mental health often keeps families from seeking help or initiating conversations. It’s essential to break this silence, normalize discussions about emotions, and encourage boys to express their feelings without judgment. That last part is hard because many of us have been around or seen the whole alpha/beta male nonsense and hear “boys will be boys” crap that essentially excuses the crappy behavior, we cannot let that continue. Real men do cry, real men do wear pink, and real men do many things that may have once been looked at as “woman’s work.”
The Role of the Internet
In today’s digital age, the internet plays a significant role in the lives of teenagers. While it can be a source of information and connection, it also poses risks. Cyberbullying, exposure to inappropriate content, and the pressure to maintain a perfect online persona can take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Even if you cannot keep up with the ever changing digital landscape that your child is involved in, do not keep your head in the sand. Research the apps your teen is using and familiarize yourself with it enough that you can be prepared should you need to intervene.
Preparing Your Teen for the Digital World
As parents, preparing our children for the digital landscape is crucial. Here are some strategies to consider:
- Open Dialogue: Foster an environment where your teen feels comfortable discussing their online experiences. Ask about their favorite apps, what they enjoy, and any negative experiences they might encounter. Snapchat has had a n uptick in scammers convincing kids to send photos and then trying to blackmail them for money. Discord has its dark places as does Twitch. Be mindful of what your family is consuming.
- Educate About Cyberbullying: Discuss the realities of cyberbullying and the importance of kindness online. Encourage them to speak to you or another trusted adult if they witness or experience bullying.
- Set Boundaries: Establish rules for internet use that promote balance, such as time limits and appropriate content guidelines. Make sure your teen knows that just like there are terrible places in the world that they might want to avoid, there are places on the internet that should be avoided.
- Model Healthy Behavior: Demonstrate positive online behavior by managing your own digital presence and discussing your experiences.
- Teach Critical Thinking: Help your teen develop critical thinking skills regarding online content. Encourage them to question the accuracy of information and the motives behind social media posts.
- Mental Health Resources: Provide information about mental health resources and support systems. Make it clear that seeking help is a strength, not a weakness.
Wrapping things up for you:
Parenting a teen boy is both rewarding and challenging. By acknowledging the complexities of their mental health and the impact of the digital world, we can foster a supportive environment. Open communication and education are key in helping our boys navigate these tumultuous years. Let’s break the silence around mental health, combat bullying, and prepare our children for a healthier relationship with themselves and the digital world. In doing so, we create a foundation of trust and resilience that can guide them through adolescence and beyond.
Mothersense and Miscellaneous 