Category: This Life

Dinner Conversations We Avoid, But shouldn’t

Featured by Mothersense, posted in financial-planning, This Life

The Dinner Table Conversation We Avoid… But Shouldn’t
There’s something sacred about the dinner table.
It’s where backpacks get unpacked, where stories spill out about teachers and tests, where we remind our kids to eat their vegetables and ask about their day. It’s where life happens. Messy, loud, beautiful life.
Between the “Did you finish your homework?” and “Don’t forget practice tomorrow,” we’re building something bigger than routines. We’re building a sense of safety.


But here’s a question most of us never ask in those moments:
What would happen to all of this if I wasn’t here tomorrow?


Peace of Mind Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s a Plan.
We spend so much time protecting our families in everyday ways. Locking doors, checking grades, making sure everyone gets where they need to be.


But real peace of mind comes from knowing your family wouldn’t be left overwhelmed, confused, or struggling to pick up the pieces if the unthinkable happened.
Grief is hard enough without paperwork, court dates, and unanswered questions.


A Conversation I’ve Already Started
I’ll be honest. I’ve had these conversations with my family.
I have a document ready with all my important logins and passwords, and I keep it updated regularly. Someone knows where it is. That matters more than people realize.
I’ve talked through the hard things with my husband and my older kids. Not because I want to, but because I need to.
And yes, sometimes it gets uncomfortable.


Like when I told my kids I changed my mind about insisting on cremation. I told them, “Do what you guys want.” There are five of them, so good luck with that decision.
But I did give them one non negotiable.
At whatever kind of gathering they have for me, they must play “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life).” (They don’t need to know how it ties back to an episode of ER I watched with my mom that left us both bawling.)


My youngest gets so uncomfortable every time I bring it up. He tells me, “Mom, tell the others, not me.”


Oh, I do.


I tell all of them. Often enough to make sure they know.
Because As Much As It Sucks, It’s Necessary
I know this isn’t a fun topic.
It sucks.
But it is necessary.
If I leave this world suddenly, I don’t want my family sitting around asking:


What do we do now?


Where is everything?


What would she have wanted?


I cannot be here forever with them.
But I can guide them through these choices now.
We all die. That is the truth no one likes to say out loud.
But I can ease some of the frustration, some of the confusion, and even a little of the pain that comes after.


The Reality Most Families Aren’t Prepared For:

Without preparation, families are left trying to figure everything out while grieving:


Where are the bank accounts?
Who gets access to what?
What were the wishes?
How do they even begin?


If things are not set up properly, it can all end up in probate. This is a long, expensive, and emotionally draining process.
And it does not have to be that way.
Simple Steps That Change Everything


This is not about fear. It is about love. These are simple, practical ways to protect your family:


✔️ Financial Protection
Have life insurance or burial coverage
Consider prepaid funeral plans
✔️ Direct Beneficiaries
Make sure all bank accounts have designated beneficiaries
This allows access with just an ID and death certificate
✔️ Protect Your Home


File a Transfer on Death (TOD) deed


This helps your home pass directly to your chosen person without probate
The Documents That Speak for You When You Can’t
Putting your wishes in writing is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind:

  • Living Will outlines your healthcare wishes
  • Durable Power of Attorney handles legal decisions
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney handles medical decisions
  • Last Will and Testament determines who receives your belongings
  • Funeral Planning Declaration states your final wishes
  • These do not have to be complicated. They just need to clearly reflect your wishes.


Make It Easy for the People You Love
One of the most overlooked steps is also one of the most important.
Create a master list of:

  • Bank accounts
  • Investments
  • Credit cards
  • Bills and utilities


Make sure someone knows:
Where your life insurance policies are
Where to find titles for vehicles and property
How to access your accounts and passwords


Because in today’s world, access is everything.


The Conversation That Matters Most


Talk to your family.
Even when it feels awkward.
Even when they do not want to hear it.
Tell them your wishes. Explain your decisions. Let them ask questions.
What feels uncomfortable now becomes clarity later.
It’s Not About the End. It’s About Love.
We cannot control what happens tomorrow.
But we can control how prepared we are today.
So maybe tonight, between dinner and dishes, you start a different kind of conversation.
Not a scary one.
A loving one.
Because true peace of mind is not just knowing your family is okay today.
It is knowing they will be okay no matter what.

Love and light! 😉

Ideas – Let Them Run

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Let the Idea Run
Lately I’ve been tired of feeling…a way.
Not necessarily sad. Not angry. Just stuck in that strange middle place where everything feels a little heavier than it should. Like your mind is restless but you can’t quite figure out what it needs.
When I get into that space, I’ve started thinking about something simple: taking an idea and just letting it run.
No overthinking. No pressure for it to become something big. Just following the thread of curiosity and seeing where it goes.
Maybe that idea is trying a recipe you saved months ago but never made. Maybe it’s building that cabinet you’ve been picturing in your head. Maybe it’s pouring a candle, starting a garden, writing down the beginning of a novel, or learning how to fix something instead of throwing it away.
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Reimagine.
There is something deeply satisfying about looking at an ordinary object or a half-formed idea and asking, “What else could this be?”
Sometimes it becomes a hobby.
Sometimes it becomes a skill.
And every now and then, it becomes something you can share with others—or even sell.
But honestly, that’s not the most important part.
We live in a time where there is constant pressure to monetize everything we enjoy. Every hobby becomes a “side hustle,” every creative spark is expected to produce income. And while there’s nothing wrong with making money from something you love, not every idea needs to carry that weight.
Some things exist simply because they bring you back to life a little.
Trying something new wakes up the parts of our brains that routine quietly puts to sleep. It reminds us that we are still capable of learning, experimenting, and creating—even when life feels a bit stagnant.
And sometimes the outcome is messy.
The recipe might flop.
The cabinet might lean a little.
The candle might smell…questionable.
But you still tried.
And that matters more than we often give ourselves credit for.
Because the truth is, the only real failure isn’t making something imperfect. The only real failure is convincing yourself not to try at all.
Ideas are strange like that. Some pass through your mind and disappear. Others linger quietly, waiting to see if you’ll give them even the smallest bit of attention.
So the next time an idea crosses your mind—no matter how random it seems—maybe let it run for a while.
Follow it.
See what happens.
If it works out, wonderful.
And if it doesn’t?
Well…at least you gave it an earnest shot. And sometimes that’s exactly the kind of progress we need.

The View from Here: Why Your “Lens” Changes Everything

by Mothersense, posted in This Life


Let’s be real: it’s incredibly easy to fixate on the “gap.” You know the one—that space between where you are right now and that shiny, idealized version of your life you’re constantly chasing. We spend so much time obsessing over what we lack, the goals we haven’t hit yet, and the “to-do” list that never seems to end.
But here’s a thought: The lens you choose to look through determines how heavy your feet feel as you move through the world. If you’re only looking at the summit, the climb feels like a chore. If you take a second to look back at the trail you’ve already blazed? That’s where the magic happens.
Take a “Conscious Inventory”
I’m not suggesting you ignore your struggles or pretend you don’t want more. I’m suggesting you take a conscious inventory of the “already.”
What do you already have? What have you already survived? What lessons are already tucked into your pocket? Being grateful for what’s present doesn’t mean you’ve stopped growing; it means you’re fueling your growth with appreciation instead of desperation.
Why You Need to Keep a Paper Trail
If you aren’t already, start journaling. Seriously.
Memory is a fickle thing—it likes to trick us into thinking we’ve stayed in the same place. Journaling is your “proof of life.” It’s the evidence of your growth (or a gentle wake-up call regarding your stagnation).
* Look at your progress: Read a horizontal entry from six months ago. You’ll likely see problems you’ve since solved and fears you’ve since conquered.
* Identify the ruts: If you notice you’re complaining about the exact same thing for a year straight, that’s not a failure—it’s data. It’s a sign to re-evaluate that specific goal or habit.
Progress Over Perfection
Give yourself some grace. You are a work in progress, and “progress” doesn’t always look like a straight line up. Sometimes it looks like a plateau where you’re just catching your breath. That’s okay. Re-evaluate your goals, adjust your pack, and keep moving.
Pocket Affirmations for the Journey
Carry these with you this week when the “gap” starts feeling a little too wide:
* “I am the living evidence of my own resilience and growth.”
* “I choose to celebrate the person I am becoming, even while I’m in the middle of the process.”
* “Grace is my fuel, and progress is my compass—perfection is not required.”
* “I have everything I need to take the very next step.”

Love and light…..it’s going to get better, be better, you just have to believe!

Recalibrating Gratitude

by Mothersense, posted in This Life


I sometimes catch myself being ungrateful.
Not in a loud, stomping-my-feet kind of way. Not in a way that would be obvious to anyone watching. But in the quiet way where I start overlooking what’s good and fixating only on what’s wrong.
The past few months have been particularly rough — financially, emotionally, physically. I still don’t have real answers about the left flank pain, though it has improved, and for that I am thankful. The heart issues? They seem to have been a fluke… or maybe a warning shot across the bow. Either way, my heart is strong, my blood pressure has normalized, and that is no small gift.
Emotionally and physically, though? It’s felt like one of those rickety carnival rides — the kind that jerks you around without warning. Up, down, sideways, spinning just fast enough to make you question your equilibrium.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, I caught myself.
Not focusing on solutions. Not leaning into my usual “everything is figure-outable” mantra. Not scanning for silver linings or mapping out next steps.
I was wallowing.
And honestly? That’s not like me at all.
I’m the one who finds the bright side. I’m the one who reframes. I’m the one who says, “Okay, this is hard — now what are we going to do about it?”
But even the strong ones get tired. Even the optimistic ones have days where the weight feels heavier than usual.
So I did what I know to do when I feel myself drifting off course.
I recalibrated.
I carved out a little time each day to be alone. To reflect. To sit with my life and my circumstances without judgment. And somewhere in that quiet, I found something steady again.
Gratitude.
Not the fluffy, hashtag kind. The grounded kind. The kind that says: I am still here.
I am still able to spend time with my mostly grown kids.
I get to hear my sweet Aubree call me “Grand-ma-ma!”
I get to feel Charlotte slip her little hand into mine and lean in for a forehead kiss.
That is not small. That is everything.
I am fortunate. I am blessed. Even on the bad days. Even when the money feels tight. Even when my body feels unpredictable. Even when I have a moment (or two) of wallowing.
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending things aren’t hard. It means refusing to let the hard things be the only things I see.
Perspective, y’all.
If you are weary, you are not alone. If you’ve been riding your own version of a bad carnival ride, I see you. But take a moment. Look around. Find one thing — just one — that anchors you back to what’s still good.
Recalibrate.
Because bitterness is heavy. Despair is suffocating. But gratitude? Gratitude steadies the ride.
We’ve got this.
Love and light, folks.

Becoming and Unbecoming

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

2026 has already been a doozy.
We welcomed January with a whole host of breaks—some expected, some not. Now we’re stepping into February, and the old groundhog has seen his shadow. Six more weeks of winter, and honestly? I’m not mad about it.
I prefer cooler temperatures. Always have. But the darkness—sometimes that gets to me. Not in a seasonal depression kind of way, more like a please give me a little more daylight so I can get things done kind of way. Still, this in-between season matters. Transition always does.
Maybe that’s why this time feels so significant—because I am transitioning too.
I’m becoming a better version of myself. A more complete self. One who is no longer trying to mask big feelings or tuck disappointments neatly out of sight for the comfort of others. I am becoming more. And if I’m too loud, too much, too intense for some people—as Elyse Myers so perfectly put it—“Go find less.”
I will happily apologize for past wrongs, for mistakes I’ve made, for moments where I fell short. But I will not apologize for being myself. If that means some people fall away, I will let them. I’ll grieve a little—because loss is still loss—but I also understand now that not everyone is meant to go where I’m headed.
This season is about becoming and unbecoming.
Letting go of what no longer fits.
Shedding versions of myself that were built for survival, not peace.
I will always fiercely defend my children and my chosen family. That part of me is immovable. But I am no longer clinging to blood ties simply because they exist. Those ties have been complicated—heavy—and loyalty owed solely to blood has caused me deep harm. I’m untangling that now. I’m lowering my expectations of people who have shown me, repeatedly, who they are.
And here’s the quiet power in that:
What I’m building next—what’s coming for me—cannot be touched or taken. It will be mine. And it will become a legacy for the family I created, not the one I was born into.
Winter can linger a little longer.
So can this becoming.
I’m not rushing it.