Mothersense

Functional Freeze: How we get unstuck

January 31, 2025February 3, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Understanding Functional Freeze: Its Impact on Mental and Physical Well-Being and How to Break Free

We all experience moments of feeling stuck or unable to move forward, especially when faced with overwhelming stress, uncertainty, or even mundane daily pressures. However, sometimes this feeling becomes more than just a brief moment of hesitation—it can manifest as a state known as functional freeze. This state can have profound effects on our mental and physical health, making it harder to take action and feel motivated. In this post, we’ll explore what functional freeze is, how it affects us, and practical steps to help break free from it.
What is Functional Freeze?
Functional freeze is a psychological and physiological response that often occurs when our brains perceive a threat or challenge, but we feel incapable of dealing with it. It’s a state of immobilization, where we feel stuck in place—unable to move forward, make decisions, or take action. Unlike the more familiar fight-or-flight response, freeze often leads to an overall sense of stagnation rather than heightened energy.
This freeze response can be triggered by any number of factors, such as:
Overwhelm from too many tasks or responsibilities
Uncertainty or fear about the future
A traumatic or emotional event that leaves you feeling paralyzed
Anxiety or depression that creates a mental block
How Functional Freeze Affects Us
Mentally: When we experience functional freeze, our minds can become foggy, and decision-making becomes increasingly difficult. We may ruminate on problems without being able to take constructive steps to address them. This mental paralysis can also fuel anxiety and self-doubt, making us question our abilities and decisions.
Physically: On a physical level, functional freeze often results in a lack of energy or motivation. You might feel exhausted even though you haven’t done anything strenuous. This leads to a cycle of inactivity that further exacerbates feelings of helplessness or frustration. Long-term, the freeze response can also affect sleep patterns, appetite, and overall health, making it harder for your body to recover from stress.
Steps to Break Free from Functional Freeze
Acknowledge and Accept
The first step to overcoming functional freeze is acknowledging it without judgment. Recognizing that you’re in a freeze state can reduce the shame or frustration that often accompanies it. It’s important to remind yourself that this is a natural response, not a personal failure.

Start Small
When overwhelmed, the sheer scale of tasks can seem impossible. Begin by breaking things down into smaller, manageable pieces. Focus on completing a small, easy task that you know you can accomplish. The act of doing something, no matter how small, will trigger a sense of accomplishment and help you gain momentum.

Mindful Movement
Physical movement can help “reset” the body and break the freeze cycle. This doesn’t have to mean a strenuous workout—gentle stretching, yoga, or even a short walk can help release tension and get your blood flowing. Movement stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin, which can help shift your mood and energy levels.

Limit Distractions and Create a Routine
Creating structure can reduce feelings of chaos and uncertainty. Try setting a simple daily routine to provide some sense of control. Focus on one task at a time, and eliminate unnecessary distractions (like excessive phone use or social media) that can increase feelings of overwhelm.

Talk to Someone
Sometimes, the best way to snap out of functional freeze is by talking it out. Find a friend, family member, or therapist to express how you’re feeling. Speaking about your thoughts can provide clarity, help you process emotions, and even offer new perspectives on your situation.

Practice Self-Compassion
Don’t be hard on yourself if you’re feeling stuck. Functional freeze doesn’t mean you’re lazy or incapable—it’s simply a natural response to stress. Give yourself grace, and understand that breaking free from this state is a process. Be patient with yourself as you take small steps toward recovery.

Seek Professional Help if Needed
If you find that functional freeze is affecting your day-to-day life for an extended period of time, it may be helpful to talk to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as help you address the root causes of your freeze response.

Final Thoughts
Functional freeze is a challenging state that many of us face at different points in our lives. While it can feel isolating and overwhelming, it’s important to remember that there are ways to break free. By acknowledging the freeze, taking small actions, and practicing self-care, you can regain your sense of control and start moving forward again—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
If you’re currently in a freeze state, take a deep breath, and remember: You are not alone, and you have the power to move past this.

Finding Calm When Feeling Stuck

January 27, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

What can you do when you feel helpless? Maybe your job search is dragging out and you feel like it’s never-ending, maybe your kid is sick and you don’t have answers to why, maybe things are rough in a friendship, family, or marriage and you have done every possible thing you know to do….what can you do next? What will be helpful?

It can be hard to feel helpless. To have to be still and wait for answers or just waiting at all can take so much energy. When things feel out of your control, and you’ve already tried everything you can think of, it’s easy to feel stuck, like there’s no next step. But there are ways to move forward, even if they’re small steps.

I do want to say I think it’s key to acknowledge that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to feel like you’ve reached a limit. Feeling helpless is a very human experience, and being kind to yourself during that time is huge. When you’re in a tough spot, here are some things that might help:

Take a Break and Breathe: Sometimes, when we’re so deep in the weeds of a difficult situation, we forget to step back and take a breather. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but giving yourself a moment of mental clarity to recharge. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even taking a walk can reset your nervous system and give you a fresh perspective.
Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing how you’re feeling can be a huge relief. Sometimes just verbalizing the weight of everything you’re carrying can make it feel lighter. You don’t need someone to have all the answers – you just need someone who will listen. And sometimes maybe you just talk to yourself. Yup. I said it, talk to yourself, sometimes saying things out loud helps you to feel better about the in between, the waiting, the PAUSE if you will.
Let Go of What’s Beyond Your Control: It’s difficult, but part of feeling helpless comes from trying to control everything. If you’ve done everything you can and you’re still not seeing results, sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender a bit. Trust that things will work out in their own time. It’s not giving up – it’s giving yourself permission to stop shouldering the weight of things you can’t fix right now.
Focus on Small Wins: If the big picture feels overwhelming, try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Is there one small action you can take today to improve your situation, even just a little? Maybe that’s applying for one more job, researching new treatment options for your child, or reaching out to a friend to have a real conversation about what’s going on.
Seek New Resources or Perspectives: Sometimes we can feel stuck because we’re too close to a problem, or we’ve exhausted the usual ways of looking at it. Maybe it’s time to seek out a new perspective – whether that’s reading a book on personal growth, talking to a mentor, or exploring new treatment options or support groups for your situation.
Practice Patience and Self-Compassion: Growth or healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and that’s hard to deal with when you’re in the middle of it. Being gentle with yourself during these moments and remembering that things won’t always feel like this can help maintain hope.

All is not lost

January 24, 2025January 24, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Getting Back on Track: Embrace the Challenge and Reboot with Confidence

We’ve all been there. You set out with the best of intentions—whether it’s landing that dream job, sticking to a workout routine, eating healthier, or forming any positive habit—but somehow, life happens, and we get off track. It’s easy to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or even defeated when we stray from our goals. But here’s the thing: we’re never too old to reboot, and it’s never too late to pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward.

1. Acknowledge the Setback, But Don’t Dwell on It

The first step in getting back on track is simply acknowledging that you’ve fallen off course. Whether it’s a job search that’s been stalled, a fitness routine that’s been abandoned, or a healthy eating plan that’s been pushed to the back burner, it’s important to be kind to yourself. Life is full of setbacks and distractions, and that’s normal. We’re all human, after all. It is important to remember that even if you WERE a robot, they require maintenance too, and so will you. So be gentle with yourself, dear reader.

Instead of focusing on guilt or disappointment, treat this moment as an opportunity to reassess, reflect, and restart. Acknowledge where you are, but don’t get stuck there.

2. Break It Down Into Smaller, Manageable Steps

Once you’ve given yourself grace, the next step is to make your goal feel more achievable. Trying to dive straight back into a long-term objective can be overwhelming. Whether you’re resuming your job hunt, picking up weights at the gym again, or preparing a healthy meal, start small.

If you’re searching for a job, instead of feeling the pressure to apply for dozens of positions in a single day, aim for one or two quality applications each day.
For fitness, instead of committing to an hour-long workout, start with a short 15-minute routine that’s manageable and builds momentum.
When it comes to healthy eating, focus on one meal at a time rather than trying to overhaul your entire diet in one go.

By breaking your goals down, you not only make them more achievable but also start gaining momentum and confidence.

3. Face Challenges, Face Rejection, and Keep Going

One of the most difficult aspects of any journey is facing setbacks, whether it’s rejection during a job search, missed workouts, or slipping back into old eating habits. Rejection and failure can be painful, but they are also powerful teachers. They show us where we can improve and where we can pivot.

Don’t let a rejection define you—whether from an employer or a failure in sticking to a habit. Use it as fuel for growth. Each time you face a challenge, you build resilience and strength. When the going gets tough, that’s when the true growth happens.

4. Keep Your Eyes on Progress, Not Perfection

As you reboot, remember that perfection isn’t the goal. The goal is progress. Whether it’s landing your next job, regaining your fitness, or simply eating more balanced meals, progress, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. Be proud of each step forward. And if you slip up, don’t give up altogether. Success isn’t linear, and growth comes with its ups and downs.

Sometimes, even a tiny change in perspective can make a world of difference. Instead of focusing on the times you’ve missed the mark, focus on how far you’ve come since you started. Each day is an opportunity to take one more step closer to your goals.

5. Embrace Lifelong Growth

One of the most empowering truths we can adopt is that we’re never too old to learn, to evolve, or to start something new. Whether you’re venturing into a new career path, challenging yourself with a new workout, or discovering healthier ways to nourish your body, there’s always room for growth.

Being open to new experiences, learning from challenges, and continuing to improve—no matter our age or where we are in life—creates a richer, more fulfilling life.

In Conclusion: Keep Rebooting, Keep Moving

No matter where you are in your journey, remember this: setbacks don’t define your success. Rebooting doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re still on your way. Challenges, rejections, and obstacles are all part of the process, and they don’t stop us from growing. The most important thing is to keep going, to keep learning, and to keep striving to be better than you were yesterday.

So if you’ve fallen off track, it’s okay. You’re not alone, and you have the power to restart. Take that first step today—because progress begins with one small action.

Just a bad day, not a bad life

January 22, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

When the Universe Feels Like It’s Conspiring Against You: How to Cope on Bad Days

We’ve all been there—one day, you’re on top of the world, ticking off tasks like a productivity machine, and the next day, it feels like the universe is suddenly conspiring against you. Nothing goes right, every little thing seems like a mountain, and you wonder how you’re supposed to keep moving forward. The thing is, bad days don’t mean a bad life. It’s easy to get stuck in that moment, but when the walls feel like they’re closing in, there are ways to navigate the storm.

Let’s go over a few simple but powerful ways to cope with those tough days, and remember, this too shall pass.

1. Breathe, Seriously. Breathe

When stress starts to mount and the weight of the world feels heavy on your shoulders, it’s natural to tighten up, hold your breath, or start breathing shallowly. But guess what? Breathing is a simple tool that’s always available to you, and it works wonders for resetting your mind and body.

Try this: Close your eyes, and take a deep breath in through your nose for a count of four, hold it for a count of four, then slowly release it through your mouth for a count of six. Do this for a few minutes. This simple breathing technique can help lower your heart rate, reduce anxiety, and give you a mental reset, allowing you to move forward with a clearer mind.

2. Be Gentle with Yourself

We often put so much pressure on ourselves to perform perfectly every single day, and when we don’t, it can feel like a personal failure. But here’s the thing: You are allowed to have bad days. Everyone has them. They don’t define you. Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that you’re doing the best you can in the moment, and sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is show yourself compassion.

If things aren’t going well, take a step back and say to yourself, “It’s okay to not be okay right now.” Give yourself permission to rest and take a break. Perfection is not the goal; progress is.

3. Take a Short Walk

If you’ve been sitting in one place for too long or your thoughts are racing, sometimes the best remedy is to get up and move. Even just a short walk outside—whether it’s around the block or in your backyard—can shift your energy. Nature has a grounding effect, and the rhythm of walking can help clear your mind and release pent-up tension.

If you’re stuck indoors, consider walking around your home or office for a few minutes. A change of scenery and some movement can be a small but effective way to reset your mind and shift your perspective.

4. Stretch It Out

Stress can manifest physically in our bodies. Tight shoulders, clenched jaws, and stiff necks are just a few signs that tension has taken root. A few simple stretches can help release some of that physical stress. Try doing some gentle neck rolls, shoulder shrugs, or standing stretches. If you’re able to, a quick yoga session can work wonders, focusing on stretches that open up your chest and relieve back tension.

The key here is to listen to your body—don’t push yourself too hard, but give yourself the space to release what’s no longer serving you.

5. Take a Mental Break

Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do on a bad day is simply step away from the stressor, even if only for a few minutes. If you’re bogged down by work or a difficult situation, give yourself permission to take a mental break. Whether that’s stepping outside for fresh air, grabbing a cup of tea, or listening to some calming music, the break can help reset your mental state.

Remember, your productivity will often be much higher when you allow yourself to step away from the stress momentarily, rather than pushing through and exhausting yourself.

6. Reach Out for Support

Bad days don’t have to be faced alone. Sometimes, just talking to a friend, family member, or colleague can help alleviate the burden of a tough situation. Don’t hesitate to reach out when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Whether it’s venting or getting advice, a supportive conversation can bring a fresh perspective and remind you that you’re not in this alone.

7. Focus on What You Can Control

When everything feels out of your hands, it can be helpful to focus on the things you can control. Is there something small you can do right now that will help you feel more grounded or accomplished? Sometimes, taking just one step forward—whether it’s organizing your desk, finishing one small task, or even just drinking a glass of water—can give you a sense of agency and start to lift your mood.

8. End the Day with Gratitude

No matter how challenging the day has been, there’s always something to be grateful for. Before you go to bed, take a moment to reflect on what went well, however small it may be. Maybe you handled a difficult conversation, or you took the time to rest when you needed it. Remind yourself that even bad days are full of lessons and opportunities for growth.

Wrapping Up: Bad Day, Not a Bad Life

When it feels like the universe is working against you, take a deep breath, show yourself some compassion, and give yourself the gift of rest and perspective. Every day, no matter how hard, is a step forward. Bad days are just that—days—and they will pass. With small tools like breathing, stretching, walking, and focusing on what you can control, you can manage the stress and come out on the other side stronger.

Remember, this too shall pass. And on the days when it feels like you’re overwhelmed, remind yourself that a bad day does not define you. You’ve got this!

Starting the year right

January 18, 2025January 18, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in Messy Life

Start the Year Right: A Financial Check-Up and Planning for the Unexpected

As January is flying by, it’s a great time to hit the refresh button on many aspects of your life—your finances included. While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of New Year’s resolutions and personal goals, one of the most important things you can do at the start of the year is ensure that your financial and legal documents are in order. Doing a financial check-up and reviewing critical documents may not be the most thrilling task, but it can save your family from unnecessary stress and confusion should something happen to you or your spouse.

1. Perform a Financial Check-Up

Start by reviewing your financial situation:

Review your budget and spending habits: Are you living within your means? Have your financial goals changed? It’s important to adjust your budget to reflect your current priorities, whether that’s saving for a major purchase, paying off debt, or investing in retirement.
Check your credit report: Get a copy of your credit report to ensure there are no errors or signs of identity theft. Correcting mistakes early can save you a lot of headaches down the line.
Evaluate your emergency savings: Ideally, you should have 3-6 months of living expenses saved up in case of unexpected emergencies. If this isn’t the case, make it a priority this year to build or replenish your emergency fund.
Revisit retirement and investment accounts: Check in on the performance of your retirement accounts and investment portfolios. Make sure your contributions align with your goals and, if necessary, adjust your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.

2. Update Your Will and Trust

Many people put off creating a will or updating it because it can feel morbid or overwhelming. However, it’s a crucial step in ensuring your assets are distributed according to your wishes and that your family members are taken care of. If your circumstances have changed—perhaps you’ve acquired new assets, had a child, or experienced a life event like a marriage or divorce—be sure to revise your will to reflect these changes. You may also want to consider setting up a trust to avoid probate and streamline the transfer of assets.

3. Review Beneficiaries for Insurance and Bank Accounts

It’s not uncommon for people to forget to update their beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement accounts (like 401(k)s or IRAs), and even bank accounts. If you’ve had any life changes—such as a marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child—this should be a top priority. Ensure that the beneficiaries listed reflect your current wishes and that your loved ones will be taken care of in the event of your death.

4. Set Up Power of Attorney

A Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal document that designates someone to make financial decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to do so yourself due to illness, injury, or incapacitation. Having a trusted person in place who can handle financial matters for you is essential to ensure your financial obligations are met during a difficult time. You can also set up a Healthcare Power of Attorney to appoint someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to communicate those decisions yourself.

5. Create Advance Directives

An advance directive (also known as a living will) outlines your preferences for medical care should you be in a position where you cannot express your wishes. This can include instructions for life-sustaining treatment, organ donation, and other aspects of end-of-life care. Many people shy away from thinking about these situations, but having clear, legally recognized instructions can relieve your loved ones of difficult decisions during emotionally charged times. Make sure your advance directives are signed, dated, and stored in a place where your family can easily access them.

6. Organize Your Documents and Make Things Easy for Your Family

Beyond the legal documents and financial accounts, consider organizing important information for your family. Create a document or folder where you record all necessary details about your accounts, passwords, insurance policies, and any other key information that your family members may need in the event of an emergency or your passing. Include things like:

Where you keep physical documents
Account numbers, login details, and passwords (using a password manager is a secure option)
Insurance policies, including life, home, auto, and health
Contact information for professionals (lawyers, accountants, financial advisors)

While it might seem like a lot of work upfront, taking the time to get your affairs in order now can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

7. Talk to Your Family About Your Wishes

Beyond the paperwork, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your wishes. This includes discussing things like your preferences for healthcare, your end-of-life care decisions (such as a Do Not Resuscitate or DNR order), and what you want to happen with your possessions. While it may feel uncomfortable, leaving these things unspoken can lead to confusion, stress, and even family conflict when emotions run high.

The Importance of Doing the Work

It may seem daunting to go through this process, but it’s far better to address these matters now than leave your family to guess your intentions. If you were to fall ill or unexpectedly pass away, having these legal and financial arrangements in place would ensure that your family isn’t left scrambling, unsure of your wishes, or dealing with unnecessary administrative headaches. It’s not about being morbid—it’s about being proactive and ensuring that your loved ones have clarity and peace of mind when they need it most.

This year, make it a priority to set aside time for your financial and legal check-up. You’ll feel better knowing that you’ve taken steps to protect your family and their future.