Mothersense

Ultimate Spring Cleaning: Mind, Home, and Finances

March 31, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Spring Cleaning for the Mind, Home, and Finances

As the fresh bloom of spring arrives, we often turn our attention to decluttering our homes—clearing out closets, deep-cleaning neglected spaces, and making everything feel new again. But spring cleaning shouldn’t stop at just the physical space we live in; it should extend to our minds and finances as well. This season presents the perfect opportunity to refresh our lives holistically, shedding mental clutter, bad habits, and financial stress so we can move forward with a sense of renewal and purpose.

Declutter Your Mind: Letting Go of Mental Baggage

Our minds accumulate clutter just like our homes. Negative thoughts, emotional baggage, and unnecessary worries can weigh us down, preventing us from moving forward. Use this season to do an internal inventory and clear out what no longer serves you.

1. Release Negative Self-Talk

Pay attention to the thoughts running through your head. Are you constantly doubting yourself or dwelling on past mistakes? Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” try, “I am capable, and I will figure this out.” Writing down positive mantras and placing them in visible areas can serve as daily reminders to shift your mindset.

2. Unplug and Reduce Digital Clutter

Just as you clean out your inbox and delete unused apps, take a step back from excessive screen time. Set limits on social media consumption and unfollow accounts that don’t add value to your life. A digital detox can free up mental energy, reduce anxiety, and create more space for meaningful connections and personal growth.

3. Prioritize Self-Care and Mindfulness

Spring is a great time to establish a self-care routine that nourishes your mental health. Whether it’s yoga, meditation, journaling, or simply taking a walk outside, find activities that bring you peace. Prioritizing self-care helps reset your mind and improves your overall well-being.

Refresh Your Finances: A Spring Cleaning for Your Wallet

Your financial well-being is just as important as your mental health. Take this time to review your spending habits, eliminate unnecessary expenses, and set financial goals that align with your future aspirations.

1. Cancel Unused Subscriptions

Many of us sign up for streaming services, gym memberships, or monthly subscription boxes with good intentions, only to forget about them later. Review your bank statements and see which subscriptions you can eliminate. If you’re not using it regularly, it’s time to let it go.

2. Review Your Budget and Cut Back on Unnecessary Expenses

Look at your budget and see where you can make adjustments. Set a limit for dining out and entertainment, and prioritize home-cooked meals that are both healthier and more cost-effective. Shopping with a grocery list and meal planning can significantly cut down unnecessary spending.

3. Tackle Debt and Build Savings

If you have outstanding debt, make a plan to tackle it aggressively. Consider the snowball or avalanche method to pay off credit cards and loans. Simultaneously, focus on building an emergency fund. Having financial security will alleviate stress and give you peace of mind.

4. Set Financial Goals for the Year

Spring is the perfect time to reassess your financial goals. Do you want to save for a vacation? Start an investment account? Buy a home? Set clear and achievable financial goals, and create a plan to make them a reality.

Declutter Your Home: A Fresh Start

The traditional aspect of spring cleaning—tidying up our homes—is still essential. A clean and organized space contributes to a clear and focused mind.

1. Purge and Donate

Go through your closets, cabinets, and storage areas and get rid of anything that no longer serves you. If you haven’t used an item in over a year, it’s probably time to donate or sell it. A clutter-free space can make you feel lighter and more at peace.

2. Deep Clean and Organize

Wipe down walls, clean baseboards, and dust every nook and cranny. Reorganize drawers, pantries, and closets so that everything has a place. Investing in storage solutions can help maintain a tidy space long-term.

3. Create a Peaceful Environment

Incorporate elements that make your home feel more relaxing and inviting. Add fresh plants, open up windows for fresh air, and use soothing scents like lavender or citrus to create a calming atmosphere.

Conclusion: A Full Life Refresh

Spring cleaning isn’t just about tidying up—it’s about renewal and setting yourself up for success. By decluttering your mind, refreshing your finances, and deep cleaning your home, you create a balanced life that allows you to focus on what truly matters. This season, take the time to evaluate what’s no longer serving you and let it go. A fresh start is just around the corner!

The Art of Compassion: Helping Loved Ones Heal

March 27, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in This Life

When You Can’t Fix It: Being There for Loved Ones in Their Pain

There are moments in life when someone we love is hurting, and there is nothing we can do to take their pain away. Grief, loss, heartache—these are deeply personal experiences, and while we may wish to absorb their suffering, to shoulder it for them, we simply cannot. It is their journey, and our role is not to fix it but to walk beside them. So how can we show up in meaningful, supportive ways without offering empty words or repeating well-worn advice?

Hold Space Without Filling It

Silence can be one of the most powerful ways to show love. So often, we feel compelled to say something, anything, to ease the discomfort of pain. But instead of searching for the perfect words, try simply being present. Sit with them in their grief. Let them talk, cry, or say nothing at all. Being a steady presence can speak volumes more than any well-intentioned words ever could.

Acknowledge Without Trying to Solve

One of the most painful things for someone in distress is feeling unheard. When they express their pain, resist the urge to offer solutions or compare their experience to something you’ve been through. Instead, acknowledge what they’re feeling: “I hear you. That sounds incredibly hard.” Sometimes, knowing they are seen and validated is all they need.

Offer Tangible Help

Rather than saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer specific assistance. Bring them a meal, run an errand, pick up their kids from school, or handle a small task that might be overwhelming in their current state. Practical support can be a lifeline when grief or hardship makes even basic tasks feel impossible.

Respect Their Process

Healing is not linear, and everyone moves through pain at their own pace. Some days they may want to talk, other days they may withdraw. Some moments will be filled with tears, others with unexpected laughter. Let them lead the way, and don’t impose expectations on what their grief should look like.

Lean on Faith, If That Feels Right

For many, faith provides comfort, but in moments of deep pain, even the most devout can struggle. If faith is a part of their life, remind them gently of their beliefs without forcing platitudes. Instead of saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” try, “I am holding you in my prayers” or “I am here to sit with you in this, however long it takes.” Sometimes, embodying faith through love and patience is more powerful than words.

Encourage Without Pushing

There may come a time when they need professional help, whether it’s therapy, a support group, or other resources. If you sense they’re struggling beyond what they can bear, gently encourage them without making them feel broken or weak for needing help. You can say, “You don’t have to go through this alone,” and offer to help them take that step when they’re ready.

Find Your Own Support

Loving someone in pain can be exhausting. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so lean on your own faith, family, or friends when you need to process your emotions. Supporting them doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs; it means showing up from a place of strength rather than depletion.

Love Them Through It

At the heart of it all, the best thing you can do is love them. Love them when they cry, when they push you away, when they don’t have the words, when they feel stuck. Love them not by trying to remove their pain, but by being someone who remains, steady and unwavering, no matter how long the journey takes.

Because sometimes, the greatest gift we can give is simply showing up, again and again, with love.

Simple Steps to Cope When Life Becomes a Disaster

March 21, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation, This Life

When Your Life Is a Shitstorm: How to Pull Yourself Back from the Edge

You’re doomscrolling again. Your thumb moves, the screen refreshes, and more bad news floods in. It’s easier than thinking about your own life because, let’s face it, your life is a mess right now. Maybe it’s a slow, painful unraveling, or maybe everything collapsed at once. Either way, you’re here, trying to escape into the abyss of the internet, trying to feel something or nothing or anything other than what you are feeling right now.

First things first: Stop.

Not everything. Not forever. Just pause for a moment. Put the phone down, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You don’t have to fix everything right now. You don’t even have to do anything right now. But you do have to breathe. Not the automatic, shallow breathing that keeps you technically alive, but the kind where you take control of your own body again.

Breathe Like You Mean It

Breathe in deeply, slowly, deliberately. Feel the air fill your lungs. Hold it for a moment, then let it out. Do it again. And again. Because when everything feels out of control, this is the one thing you can control. You can’t change the past, you can’t predict the future, and you can’t force other people to act the way you want them to. But you can breathe, right now, in this moment.

Eat Something. No, Really.

Have you eaten today? No, coffee doesn’t count. Neither does the handful of crackers you barely noticed shoving into your mouth. Eat something real. It doesn’t have to be healthy. It just has to be food. A sandwich, a bowl of cereal, some fruit, even a damn granola bar—just something with actual calories and nutrients. When life is a wreck, basic self-care falls by the wayside, and eating is one of the first things to go. But you need fuel. You wouldn’t expect a car to run on an empty tank, so why are you expecting your body and mind to function when you haven’t given them anything to work with?

Drink Some Water. Yes, Right Now.

Dehydration sneaks up on you. It makes you foggy, sluggish, and more irritable. It messes with your mood and your ability to think clearly. And when you’re in crisis mode, drinking enough water is often the last thing on your mind. Grab a glass, a bottle, anything. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be lemon-infused or electrolyte-enhanced. Just drink.

Be Still.

This one is hard. We live in a world that screams at us to always be doing something, fixing something, achieving something. But when everything is a disaster, sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. Be still. Let your body settle, let your mind settle. Give yourself permission to not have the answers, to not have a plan, to not know what comes next. Sometimes, the storm has to pass before you can even see the ground beneath your feet again.

Being still doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re letting your nervous system catch up, allowing your emotions to level out so that when you do move forward, you’re doing so with a clearer head and steadier hands.

You Are Still Here.

Life is not always fair. It is not always kind. Sometimes, it throws things at you that you never asked for and don’t deserve. But you are still here. And as long as you are here, you have choices. Maybe not the ones you wish you had, maybe not the ones that make everything magically better, but some choices.

Start with the small ones. The ones that remind you that you are, in fact, still in control of something. Breathe. Eat. Drink. Be still. And when you’re ready, take the next step. One moment, one breath, one tiny act of care at a time.

You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. You can survive this one too.

One of Those Days: Tips to Handle Life’s Challenges

March 14, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in This Life

One of Those Mornings: When Everything Goes Wrong and It Just Hurts

We all have them—those mornings where nothing seems to go right, where life seems to pile up problem after problem before we’ve even had a sip of coffee. You wake up feeling just as awful as you did when you went to bed, and as the day begins to unfold, you start to wonder if the universe is testing you. Today is one of those days for me.

I woke up hurting. Not just a little ache here and there, but full-body pain—the kind that makes you question everything. Is it perimenopause creeping in? Arthritis? The remnants of a cold or even COVID? Who knows, but all I know is that I hurt. It’s one thing to wake up a little stiff, but this? This is a deep, unrelenting soreness that makes every movement feel like a struggle. I rolled out of bed hoping a hot shower might help, but little did I know what awaited me.

As I trudged through the house, trying to shake off the grogginess, I discovered yet another unwelcome surprise: a leak in the kids’ bathroom shower. And not just a little drip-drip situation—oh no, the copper pipe had split at a joint. The kind of plumbing disaster that instantly sends your heart racing, your brain spiraling through mental checklists of what to do next, and your wallet weeping before you’ve even picked up the phone to call a plumber.

And because, of course, bad things come in clusters, my son isn’t feeling great after his EGD and colonoscopy. The good news is that he’s not throwing up daily anymore, which is a huge relief, but he’s still not himself. I know it’ll take time for his body to heal, for things to regulate, for him to start feeling like himself again. But as a mother, waiting for that improvement is agonizing. We want to fix, to heal, to make things better instantly. Watching him go through discomfort, exhaustion, and lingering symptoms makes me feel powerless.

So, yeah. What a morning!

The Emotional Weight of “One of Those Days”

Mornings like these make you wonder how much a person can take. It’s like standing in the ocean during a storm, trying to brace yourself against wave after wave, just praying for a moment to catch your breath. But when everything hurts—physically, emotionally, and mentally—catching your breath feels impossible.

If you’ve ever had a day like this, you know what I mean. The kind of day where you start questioning if Mercury is in retrograde (again), if the full moon is messing with the energy of the universe, or if you somehow unknowingly offended the plumbing gods. The kind of day where you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and all you want to do is crawl back into bed and try again tomorrow.

But life doesn’t work that way.

The shower still leaks, my son still needs care, my body still aches, and the world keeps spinning whether I feel up to it or not. So what do we do on these days? How do we keep going when everything feels heavy?

Everything Is Figure-Outable

One of my favorite mantras is, everything is figure-outable. It’s a reminder that even in the midst of chaos, there are solutions. The leak? It’s annoying, frustrating, and expensive, but it’s fixable. My body’s aches and pains? They may not have an immediate answer, but I can take steps toward finding out what’s going on. My son’s recovery? It’s a process, but healing is happening, even if it’s slower than I’d like.

When life throws these curveballs, it’s easy to spiral into frustration and despair. It’s tempting to sit in that space of “Why me? Why today?” And honestly, sometimes you just need to feel that frustration for a bit. But once you’ve allowed yourself that moment, you have to remind yourself that you’ve handled tough days before, and you’ll handle this one too.

Just Keep Swimming

Dory from Finding Nemo had it right—just keep swimming. Some days, that’s all we can do. Even when our bodies hurt, even when the to-do list feels insurmountable, even when we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and ready to throw in the towel. One step at a time, one breath at a time, one small victory at a time.

On days like today, the victories might look different. Maybe the win is simply making that plumber appointment. Maybe it’s drinking an extra glass of water. Maybe it’s letting yourself rest without guilt. Maybe it’s calling a friend and venting for a bit. Whatever it is, no matter how small, it’s a step forward.

Finding Light in the Chaos

Even in the worst mornings, there’s always something to be grateful for. Today, I’m grateful that my son is showing some improvement, even if it’s slow. I’m grateful that I have the knowledge and resources to handle this plumbing mess. I’m grateful for a body that, while aching, still allows me to move, to get things done, to be present.

When everything feels overwhelming, gratitude is the anchor that keeps us grounded. It doesn’t erase the problems, but it shifts the focus, even if just for a moment. And sometimes, a moment is all we need to reset, to breathe, to remind ourselves that this day will pass, just like every other tough day we’ve faced before.

A Reminder to Be Kind to Yourself

If you’re having one of these mornings, I see you. I feel you. And I want to remind you to be kind to yourself. It’s okay if today isn’t productive. It’s okay if you need extra rest. It’s okay if all you accomplish is making it through the day. Some days are about thriving, but others are just about surviving—and both are okay.

So, to anyone else out there who’s having one of those mornings, let’s take a deep breath together. Let’s remind ourselves that we are strong, resilient, and capable. Let’s find a little light in the mess, a little humor in the madness, and a little grace for ourselves in the struggle.

Love and light, y’all. Keep going. Everything is figure-outable, and just keep swimming.

Navigating Grief: Lessons from a Year Without Audra

March 10, 2025 by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Coping with Grief: A Year Without Audra

It’s been nearly a year now—a year since Audra passed. It was a Wednesday. We had already spoken twice that morning, talking about life, laughing about how much she hated Walmart and self-checkouts. Then my phone rang again. This time, it was different. “I don’t feel right,” she said. “Bring the blood pressure cuff.”

It was Spring Break, and I was home, not teaching. I ran next door, frantic, to find her slurring her words, sweet little Hayden trying to help Moomoo. Her blood pressure was too high. I called 911. She started throwing up. By the time the paramedics arrived, she was somewhat coherent. I had gotten Hunter and Nick there. Thomas was on the phone. It was bad.

By the time they loaded her into the ambulance, I saw it—Hunter saw it. The drooping side of her face. We knew. But we held onto hope. Strokes can be survived. Audra was tough and ornery. She could pull through. But it all happened so fast. Some days, the scene replays in my head. Some nights, it haunts my dreams.

I visited her in the hospital. Thomas said the prognosis was grim. We knew. She knew. She had made it clear she never wanted machines to keep her alive if there was no real quality of life. And so, we waited. We grieved even before she was gone. And then, she slipped away.

Now, nearly a year later, everything has changed, and yet, nothing has. I haven’t stepped foot next door since her memorial service. I see her willow tree—the one thing her black thumb didn’t kill. Some days, it makes me smile. Other days, it makes me cry. She should still be here. She should be helping Nick with his schoolwork, swapping recipes with me, planning our gardens together. But she isn’t. And as March 18th approaches, the weight of her absence grows heavier.

She was more than a friend. She was my sister in every way except blood. My confidante, my reality check, my protector. And now, she’s gone. There’s no one to fill her shoes. The grief is raw. The reality of outliving those we love is a harsh lesson, one I’ve always known but never fully embraced: No one is promised another day.

Finding Ways to Cope

Grief is a journey, not a destination. It changes shape but never fully disappears. If you’re walking this path, too, here are some ways to navigate the pain:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel There is no timeline for grief. Some days, you’ll laugh at a memory. Other days, the pain will take your breath away. Let it. Don’t rush healing. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.

2. Honor Their Memory Find ways to keep their spirit alive. Cook their favorite meal. Plant something in their honor. Share their stories. Audra’s willow tree reminds me that she was here, that she mattered.

3. Lean on Your People Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Talk to someone who understands. Share your pain, your memories, your love. Let others support you.

4. Find Purpose in the Pain Loss has a way of reshaping our priorities. I choose to love more fiercely, forgive more freely, and live more intentionally. Life is too short to do more damage.

5. Give Yourself Grace There’s no “moving on,” only moving forward. Some days will be harder than others. That’s okay. Be patient with yourself.

Grief is love with nowhere to go. And in that love, Audra remains. She may not be here to call me and tell me to snap out of it, but I hear her voice in my heart. I honor her by living, by loving, by carrying her with me in all the ways that matter.

And if there was a phone line to heaven, I know she’d be on my butt about it.