The Weight of Worry

Understanding the Challenges Our Children Face: A mom’s thoughts

Can we talk about the hard stuff? It’s not just the occasional worries that gnaw at us; it’s the deep, pervasive concerns that accompany the journey of parenting. As I reflect on my experiences, I can’t help but think about the realities that many parents face today. I know people who have struggled with addiction—individuals who have turned to pills and alcohol to cope with life’s pressures, whether stemming from joy or despair. I’ve witnessed young lives teetering on the edge, grappling with challenges so overwhelming that they felt as though they had no choice but to escape from this world.

Consider this: According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), nearly 70% of young adults aged 18-25 have reported using alcohol in the past month, with about 16% indicating binge drinking. Furthermore, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) found that in 2021, over 4.6 million young adults reported misusing prescription medications. These statistics remind us that our children, even when they seem resilient, are navigating a landscape fraught with peril.

As we watch our children transition from adolescence into adulthood, the reality hits hard: there comes a point when we can no longer protect them from every danger. They bear the scars of childhood scrapes and bumps, yet the fear of what lies ahead weighs heavily on our hearts.

As a mother, I often find myself plagued by doubts. Did I do enough to prepare them for the challenges of life? Will the world embrace them as they carve out their own paths? Have I equipped them with the tools to trust their instincts and steer clear of harmful situations? Will they have the courage to make sound choices, even when faced with peer pressure or societal expectations? These questions swirl in my mind, casting a shadow over the proud moments I should be savoring.

The American Psychological Association reports that around 30% of adolescents experience significant anxiety or stress related to social pressures and academic expectations. For those aged 18-25, the transition to adulthood is often riddled with anxiety about career prospects, financial independence, and relationships. As parents, we want to instill confidence and resilience, yet we must acknowledge that external factors can overwhelm even the most well-prepared young adults.

Moreover, mental health concerns are on the rise. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) states that approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience mental illness in a given year. This means that our children, aged 14 to 30, are at a higher risk of facing issues such as depression and anxiety, which can lead to more severe consequences if not addressed.

It’s crucial to foster an open dialogue with our children, creating a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their struggles. We need to remind them that it’s okay to seek help and that support is always available. As parents, we must strive to be the guiding light in their lives, offering them not just advice but also unconditional love and understanding.

In moments of self-doubt, I remind myself that while I may not be able to shield my children from every hardship, I can be their anchor. I can provide them with the strength to face life’s uncertainties, encouraging them to reach out when they need support. They must know they can always come to me, no matter what challenges they encounter.

Ultimately, the journey of parenting is filled with ups and downs, and while the worries may never fully dissipate, we can arm our children with the resilience to navigate the world on their own. By fostering open communication, teaching them the importance of mental health, and instilling values that promote healthy decision-making, we can help them forge paths that lead to fulfilling lives. Let’s embrace these conversations, even when they’re difficult, and commit to being present for our children as they grow into the remarkable individuals they are meant to be.

Advocacy for children

Debate amateur turned Warrior Mom

I wasn’t a fighter, at least not really. In high school, I could argue my point well, and sometimes I was wrong, but I didn’t seek confrontation. I wanted to fit in and be accepted; I loved people. However, becoming a mother shifted my perspective dramatically. Watching my children struggle in school opened my eyes and transformed me into a warrior for their needs. I will leave out some of the finer details in dealing with various school districts, but the first ARD meeting I had the experience of sitting in on was the catalyst for changing how I fought for my children and becoming active in making sure they were able to succeed despite their struggles.

Initially, my journey began with my oldest son and daughter, who faced challenges with speech. As I navigated the complexities of early childhood education, I quickly realized that these struggles weren’t merely developmental; they were indicators of larger issues at play. It wasn’t until my second child was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and dyslexia that I truly understood the importance of advocacy. According to the CDC, around 6.1 million children in the U.S. have been diagnosed with ADHD, while estimates suggest that about 1 in 5 students has some form of learning disability, including dyslexia. These numbers are a stark reminder of how common these challenges are, yet navigating the school system to get the necessary support can often feel like an uphill battle.

As I continued to educate myself, my third child was diagnosed with a range of issues that underscored the importance of understanding and advocacy. I learned that Autism Spectrum Disorder affects approximately 1 in 36 children in the U.S., a statistic that has prompted schools to reevaluate their support structures. With every diagnosis, I became more determined to fight for my children’s right to an equitable education.

The climate of our schools, while designed to support all students, can inadvertently create environments rife with anxiety, particularly for children with unique needs. My fourth and fifth children seemed to fare better academically, yet I couldn’t ignore the subtle signs of stress they exhibited. The pressures of fitting into a rigid system can manifest in ways that aren’t immediately obvious, making advocacy all the more crucial.

To effectively advocate for my children within the Texas school system, I learned to ask the right questions and make informed requests. The first step in securing the appropriate support is to pursue a comprehensive evaluation. Parents should request a meeting with the school’s special education team to discuss concerns and request a Full Individual Evaluation (FIE). In Texas, this evaluation should include assessments of cognitive abilities, academic achievement, and social-emotional functioning.

When advocating for supports, it’s vital to be specific. For my children, I sought accommodations like extended time on tests, individualized reading programs, and access to assistive technology. Schools in Texas are required to provide a free and appropriate public education (FAPE) to all students, and this includes tailored supports for those with disabilities. I learned to request services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, both of which outline the rights of students with disabilities and their need for accommodations.

In meetings, I found it helpful to present documented evidence of my children’s struggles, including report cards, assessments, and even journal entries that captured their emotional experiences. Armed with this information, I could make a compelling case for the interventions they needed.

Advocating for children with ADHD, dyslexia, and autism means not only ensuring they receive necessary accommodations but also fostering a supportive environment that recognizes their strengths. It’s about collaborating with educators, understanding the resources available, and staying informed about changes in educational policy. By becoming a proactive and informed advocate, I transformed my initial desire to fit in into a powerful mission to ensure my children—and others like them—received the education and support they deserved.

The fight for our children’s rights in the school system may not come naturally to many parents, but it is a battle worth fighting. Through collaboration, persistence, and a deep understanding of their needs, we can pave the way for our children to thrive academically and emotionally, regardless of their challenges. In the end, it’s about creating an inclusive environment where every child feels valued and capable of success.

More about me and where I am headed…

Finding Opportunity Amid Grief and Financial Concerns

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it. Lately, I’ve been navigating a landscape filled with grief and financial uncertainties. It’s a heavy load, and some days it feels overwhelming. But through this challenging period, I’ve started to explore new avenues to not only cope but to thrive.

Embracing Grief and Finding Strength

Grief can be a solitary journey, yet it can also be a catalyst for growth. As I process my feelings of the loss of both people and a career that I worked really hard to get into, I’ve realized the importance of channeling my energy into productive outlets. Writing has become my refuge—a way to express what I’m going through and connect with others who may feel the same.

Financial Concerns: A Wake-Up Call

Alongside my emotional struggles, financial concerns have crept in. Unexpected expenses and a tightening budget have pushed me to rethink my income sources. In this age of digital opportunities, I’ve discovered that there are several ways to generate income that align with my passions and skills.

Diving into Blogging and Copywriting

One avenue I’ve explored is blogging. Sharing my experiences not only helps me process my grief, but it also allows me to connect with a broader audience. Through my blog, I’m able to share insights, stories, and resources that others might find valuable.

I’m also diving into copywriting. The ability to craft compelling narratives and persuasive content can be a lucrative skill, especially as businesses are constantly looking for fresh ways to engage their audiences.

Proofreading: A Detail-Oriented Path

With an eye for detail, proofreading has become another potential income stream. Many writers and businesses seek out proofreaders to polish their work, and I’ve found that this skill can be both rewarding and flexible.

Cooking Up a New Project: A Cookbook

In addition to writing, I’ve always had a passion for cooking. As I’ve spent more time in the kitchen, I’ve been inspired to create a cookbook. Combining personal stories with recipes can be a beautiful way to share my journey and offer something meaningful to others.

Partnering with Primerica

Finally, I’ve recently partnered with Primerica, a company that offers financial services and education. This opportunity not only aligns with my goal of improving my financial literacy but also allows me to help others in their financial journeys. It’s a fulfilling way to turn my financial concerns into proactive solutions.

Connecting with Amazon Affiliate Links

As I embark on these ventures, I’ve also started utilizing Amazon affiliate links on my blog. Whether I’m sharing my favorite kitchen gadgets for the cookbook or recommending books that have helped me through tough times, this can be a great way to earn some extra income while providing value to my readers.

Moving Forward

While grief and financial worries can feel consuming, I’ve found that by leaning into my passions and exploring new income streams, I can create a brighter path forward. Each step—whether it’s blogging, copywriting, or working on my cookbook—feels like a small victory. I’m learning to embrace this journey, and I hope to inspire others to find their own paths through adversity.

If you’re interested in supporting my journey or exploring some of my recommended products, check out the links that I will be posting on my blog. There is also an Etsy shop, TikTok and Instagram pages for content related to mental health and navigating life. Look for Mothersenseshop on social media and of course I will be getting all of the links posted here soon. Together, we can maneuver through these challenges and discover new opportunities for growth. As always, love and light y’all, we can do this!

Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder

Strategies for Brightening the Darker Days

As the seasons change and daylight hours dwindle, many individuals experience a form of depression known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This condition typically arises during the fall and winter months, when natural sunlight is scarce, leading to symptoms such as fatigue, irritability, changes in sleep patterns, and a general sense of sadness. If you find yourself feeling down during the colder months, here are several effective strategies to help cope with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that follows a seasonal pattern. Symptoms can vary from mild to severe and often include:

  • Low energy or fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Changes in sleep patterns (oversleeping or insomnia)
  • Weight gain or loss due to changes in appetite
  • Feelings of hopelessness or despair

While SAD can affect anyone, it’s more prevalent in women and individuals living in northern latitudes where daylight is limited in winter.

Effective Coping Strategies

1. Light Therapy

One of the most common treatments for SAD is light therapy, which involves exposure to a special light box that mimics natural sunlight. This therapy helps regulate your body’s circadian rhythms and can alleviate symptoms. Here are some tips for effective use:

  • Duration: Aim for 20-30 minutes of exposure each morning.
  • Timing: Use the light box in the morning when you wake up, as it helps set your body’s internal clock.
  • Quality: Choose a light box that emits 10,000 lux and filters out UV rays.

2. Stay Active

Physical activity is a powerful tool against depression. Regular exercise can boost mood by increasing endorphins, improving sleep, and reducing anxiety. Here are some ways to incorporate movement into your routine:

  • Outdoor Activities: Even in colder weather, consider walking, hiking, or participating in winter sports like skiing or snowshoeing to get sunlight exposure.
  • Indoor Workouts: Join a gym, try online fitness classes, or practice yoga at home to stay active regardless of the weather. There are a number of apps and Youtube channels for indoor workouts.

3. Maintain a Routine

I cannot stress routine enough when experiencing mental health issues. Establishing a daily routine can provide structure and stability, which can be especially helpful during the winter months. Here’s how to create an effective routine:

  • Regular Sleep Schedule: Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day to regulate your circadian rhythm. It is so easy to get a routine disrupted by a late night on the weekends, and it is ok to have a late night, but don’t let it derail your routine. 
  • Meal Planning: Prepare balanced meals at consistent times to help manage energy levels and mood.Meal planning may seem daunting at first, but it can be as simple or as complicated as you would like. 

4. Connect with Nature

Getting outside, even on cloudy days, can have a positive effect on your mood. Here are some ideas:

  • Nature Walks: Take short walks in a local park or nature reserve. The natural surroundings can be uplifting.
  • Gardening: If possible, try indoor gardening or plan for spring gardening to keep your connection to nature alive.

5. Nurture Social Connections

Social support is crucial for mental health. Stay connected with friends and family, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help or companionship:

  • Regular Check-Ins: Schedule regular calls or video chats with loved ones. You can let them know you are struggling or just simply enjoy a nice chat, either way, making it a point to stay connected is crucial. 
  • Join Groups: Consider participating in community activities, classes, or support groups to meet new people. This can mean even groups on social media. It is not a new idea per se but even our online friends can be points of connection for those who may also struggle with being introverted or very private people. 

6. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded and reduce feelings of anxiety and sadness. Here are some techniques to try:

  • Meditation: Start with just a few minutes a day, gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable. Try a podcast or youtube video to help get you started and then you can strike out on your own or continue with guided meditation.
  • Deep Breathing Exercises: Simple deep breathing can help calm your mind and reduce stress. It sounds silly, to tell people to breathe, we do it involuntarily all day long, but deep breathing is different. You concentrate on taking deep cleansing breaths and exhaling as much as possible. It really can help to soothe you.

7. Consider Professional Help

If symptoms are severe or persistent, seeking professional help is essential. Therapy options include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This approach can help you identify and change negative thought patterns.
  • Medication: Antidepressants may be recommended by your healthcare provider if other treatments are ineffective.

In parting, please remember:

Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder requires a multifaceted approach, combining light therapy, physical activity, social support, and mindfulness practices. By implementing these strategies, you can create a more positive experience during the darker months. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate SAD. If your symptoms persist, don’t hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional. Embrace the changes of the season and find ways to bring light into your life!

Here’s a list of helpful YouTube channels and podcasts that focus on coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and mental wellness:

YouTube Channels

  1. Therapy in a Nutshell
    YouTube Channel
    Offers practical tips for mental health, including coping strategies for SAD.
  2. The School of Life
    YouTube Channel
    Provides insights on emotional well-being, including seasonal mood changes.
  3. Kati Morton
    YouTube Channel
    A licensed therapist discussing mental health topics, including SAD.
  4. Mindful Peace
    YouTube Channel
    Focuses on mindfulness and meditation techniques that can help with mood regulation.
  5. Psychology In Seattle
    YouTube Channel
    Discusses mental health topics, including the effects of seasons on mood.

Podcasts

  1. Therapy Chat
    Podcast Link
    Discusses various mental health issues, including seasonal affective disorder.
  2. The Happiness Lab
    Podcast Link
    Explores the science of happiness and well-being, with episodes relevant to coping with seasonal changes.
  3. Mindful Muslim Podcast
    Podcast Link
    Focuses on mental wellness and coping strategies, including managing seasonal affective disorder.
  4. The Anxiety Coaches Podcast
    Podcast Link
    Offers insights on managing anxiety, which can be heightened by SAD.
  5. The Trauma Therapist Podcast
    Podcast Link
    While focused on trauma, it provides useful strategies for emotional health that can apply to SAD.

Feel free to explore these resources for support and strategies to cope with Seasonal Affective Disorder!

Navigating life -Steps you can take

Getting through the tough times – Steps you can take

If you have seen my previous posts, you know a bit of what we have been through and ways that I have tried to help my family cope with various struggles. Although I gave birth to 5 children, I also have had the honor to be a safe adult for several other children in my life-time. Meaning they either lived with me or were always coming to me to help them through difficult times. They are mostly adults now and still have struggles, but because they learned some coping skills, the struggles are not as difficult. This blog is to serve as a help in the conversation about mental health. It is filled with what has worked for us and what we tried. Mental health issues are not really a one size fits all, some meds will work for some and not so well for others. Therapy with a professional can be beneficial for everyone but takes time. What can be beneficial is to not stop trying, to keep looking for what works for you and your family. I will always advocate for being mindful of what you are CONSUMING, that means food, entertainment, information, social media, it will all have an effect on your mental health. Keeping all of this in mind, the following is a post about steps you can take while on your mental health journey. 

Are you someone who needs quiet? DO you crave some quiet alone time in your day to process, prepare or recuperate from your day? Here are some things that help with getting that little slice of quiet.

  1. Get up earlier than the rest of the family- I know it sounds hard but it can be beneficial for you to start your morning mentally preparing yourself for the day. You can have a quiet cup of coffee or listen to a bit of calming music, do your morning stretches, read your Bible, just some quiet “just me” time that is calm
  2. Stay up a bit later than everyone else. Yes, I did this quite a bit. In the evening you can also do some skincare, a soak in the tub, again music to wind down, reading a book or Bible study. I don’t recommend exercise before bedtime because the feel good hormones that are released actually serve to wake you up and you will not be going to sleep soon afterwards. 
  3. If you are a parent that has to pick up the kids, read while waiting in the pick up line. If you have to commute, listen to a podcast or audiobook. This isn’t entirely quiet, but it is a bit of time carved out for you to do something that is just for you. 

Do you feel like you just want to cry sometimes? Yeah, me too. Crying can be a beneficial emotional release, serving as a natural mechanism to process and alleviate stress or sadness. My husband will sometimes intentionally take time to watch something that he knows will make him cry, because he says it is cleansing. I agree it can be cleansing, but I am not set up to do what my husband does. I am that mom that has avoided the final episode of Supernatural because I knew the ending would be sad. I didn’t know the details BUT I just KNEW it would make me cry, all endings like that on tv shows make me cry. It’s over. No more. So yeah, I cried. I cried when I was going through Grey’s. I didn’t need to intentionally look for stuff, sometimes the news made me cry. Crying is normal and healthy. Sometimes it is overwhelming sadness and other times tears accompany great joy! 

When tears do flow, they often help to release pent-up emotions and can even trigger the release of endorphins, which act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers. To make the most of this cathartic experience, it’s useful to follow a few steps:

  1. Allow yourself to cry without judgment; acknowledging and accepting your emotions can lead to a more profound emotional release. 
  1. Find a safe and supportive environment where you can express yourself freely.
  1. After the tears have subsided, engage in self-care activities such as deep breathing, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend, to help you process the experience and regain a sense of balance. Embracing crying as a part of your emotional toolkit can foster resilience and lead to greater overall well-being.

We get to cry, however if you find yourself crying often and easily, then perhaps medical or therapeutic interventions should be pursued. 

The most important thing you can do for yourself or to help anyone who may struggle is to connect. Talk to someone or listen to someone when struggling. Connection to others has been proven to be the most vital aspect of mental health. 

Here’s a list of key contacts and resources for those struggling with mental health issues. It’s important to reach out to professionals or organizations that can provide support and guidance.

 Emergency Contacts:

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-TALK (8255)  

   – Available 24/7 for crisis support.

2. Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741  

   – Provides 24/7 support via text.

3. Emergency Services (U.S.): Dial 911  

   – For immediate assistance in a crisis situation. Ensure they operator is aware it is a mental health emergency

General Support:

1. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)  

   – Provides information, support, and resources for mental health.

2. Mental Health America (MHA): 1-800-969-6642  

   – Offers mental health resources and support.

3. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)  

   – Provides information and referrals for mental health and substance use disorders.

Online Resources:

1. 7 Cups: [7cups.com](https://www.7cups.com)  

   – Offers free, anonymous online counseling and support.

2. BetterHelp: [betterhelp.com](https://www.betterhelp.com)  

   – Provides online therapy with licensed professionals.

3. Headspace: [headspace.com](https://www.headspace.com)  

   – Offers mindfulness and meditation resources.

International Contacts:

1. Samaritans (UK & Ireland): 116 123  

   – Offers support 24/7 for those in emotional distress.

2. Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14  

   – Provides 24/7 crisis support.

3. Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566  

   – Offers support through phone and text.

Remember, it’s essential to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling. These resources are a good starting point for finding the support needed. And remember the best lesson from Finding Nemo comes from Dory: “Just keep swimming” Make it a great day folks, the choice is in your hands.