Tag: husband

Starting the year right

by Mothersense, posted in Messy Life

Start the Year Right: A Financial Check-Up and Planning for the Unexpected

As January is flying by, it’s a great time to hit the refresh button on many aspects of your life—your finances included. While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of New Year’s resolutions and personal goals, one of the most important things you can do at the start of the year is ensure that your financial and legal documents are in order. Doing a financial check-up and reviewing critical documents may not be the most thrilling task, but it can save your family from unnecessary stress and confusion should something happen to you or your spouse.

1. Perform a Financial Check-Up

Start by reviewing your financial situation:

  • Review your budget and spending habits: Are you living within your means? Have your financial goals changed? It’s important to adjust your budget to reflect your current priorities, whether that’s saving for a major purchase, paying off debt, or investing in retirement.
  • Check your credit report: Get a copy of your credit report to ensure there are no errors or signs of identity theft. Correcting mistakes early can save you a lot of headaches down the line.
  • Evaluate your emergency savings: Ideally, you should have 3-6 months of living expenses saved up in case of unexpected emergencies. If this isn’t the case, make it a priority this year to build or replenish your emergency fund.
  • Revisit retirement and investment accounts: Check in on the performance of your retirement accounts and investment portfolios. Make sure your contributions align with your goals and, if necessary, adjust your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.

2. Update Your Will and Trust

Many people put off creating a will or updating it because it can feel morbid or overwhelming. However, it’s a crucial step in ensuring your assets are distributed according to your wishes and that your family members are taken care of. If your circumstances have changed—perhaps you’ve acquired new assets, had a child, or experienced a life event like a marriage or divorce—be sure to revise your will to reflect these changes. You may also want to consider setting up a trust to avoid probate and streamline the transfer of assets.

3. Review Beneficiaries for Insurance and Bank Accounts

It’s not uncommon for people to forget to update their beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement accounts (like 401(k)s or IRAs), and even bank accounts. If you’ve had any life changes—such as a marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child—this should be a top priority. Ensure that the beneficiaries listed reflect your current wishes and that your loved ones will be taken care of in the event of your death.

4. Set Up Power of Attorney

A Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal document that designates someone to make financial decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to do so yourself due to illness, injury, or incapacitation. Having a trusted person in place who can handle financial matters for you is essential to ensure your financial obligations are met during a difficult time. You can also set up a Healthcare Power of Attorney to appoint someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to communicate those decisions yourself.

5. Create Advance Directives

An advance directive (also known as a living will) outlines your preferences for medical care should you be in a position where you cannot express your wishes. This can include instructions for life-sustaining treatment, organ donation, and other aspects of end-of-life care. Many people shy away from thinking about these situations, but having clear, legally recognized instructions can relieve your loved ones of difficult decisions during emotionally charged times. Make sure your advance directives are signed, dated, and stored in a place where your family can easily access them.

6. Organize Your Documents and Make Things Easy for Your Family

Beyond the legal documents and financial accounts, consider organizing important information for your family. Create a document or folder where you record all necessary details about your accounts, passwords, insurance policies, and any other key information that your family members may need in the event of an emergency or your passing. Include things like:

  • Where you keep physical documents
  • Account numbers, login details, and passwords (using a password manager is a secure option)
  • Insurance policies, including life, home, auto, and health
  • Contact information for professionals (lawyers, accountants, financial advisors)

While it might seem like a lot of work upfront, taking the time to get your affairs in order now can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

7. Talk to Your Family About Your Wishes

Beyond the paperwork, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your wishes. This includes discussing things like your preferences for healthcare, your end-of-life care decisions (such as a Do Not Resuscitate or DNR order), and what you want to happen with your possessions. While it may feel uncomfortable, leaving these things unspoken can lead to confusion, stress, and even family conflict when emotions run high.

The Importance of Doing the Work

It may seem daunting to go through this process, but it’s far better to address these matters now than leave your family to guess your intentions. If you were to fall ill or unexpectedly pass away, having these legal and financial arrangements in place would ensure that your family isn’t left scrambling, unsure of your wishes, or dealing with unnecessary administrative headaches. It’s not about being morbid—it’s about being proactive and ensuring that your loved ones have clarity and peace of mind when they need it most.

This year, make it a priority to set aside time for your financial and legal check-up. You’ll feel better knowing that you’ve taken steps to protect your family and their future.

Embracing Struggle

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

How Life’s Challenges Lead to Blessings

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us when we least expect them. There are moments when the weight of our struggles feels unbearable, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we are being punished or that we will never overcome the obstacles in our path. Yet, if we take a step back and look at our lives from a broader perspective, we might realize that struggle isn’t the enemy—it’s a necessary part of growth, transformation, and ultimately, the realization of our blessings.

The truth is, we often stand in the way of our own blessings, not because they aren’t meant for us, but because we struggle to embrace the challenges that are essential for our growth. Struggle, as paradoxical as it may seem, is part of the divine design of life. When we’re experiencing hardship, it’s easy to focus on the pain or the apparent lack of progress. But what if, instead of resisting those difficult times, we leaned into them? What if we learned to trust that, even when things seem bleak, something greater is unfolding behind the scenes?

The Gift in Struggle

Struggle teaches us resilience. It forces us to grow in ways we never would have imagined. When life tests us, we uncover strengths within ourselves we didn’t know existed. It’s in the hard moments—when we feel like we’re at our lowest—that we discover a well of courage, patience, and determination we never thought we had. It’s in the darkest valleys that we develop the perspective to truly appreciate the peaks.

The famous author C.S. Lewis once said, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” How true this is! Often, we look at our struggles as things to avoid or eliminate, but they are often the very things that shape our future. Our challenges bring us closer to the people we are meant to be. Without those tests, without those failures, we wouldn’t have the capacity to appreciate the victories, the light, or the blessings when they arrive.

Faith and the Power of the Unseen

There’s a deep, unspoken truth in life: sometimes, we don’t see the good that is coming to us, not because it isn’t there, but because it isn’t visible yet. Faith is the quiet assurance that something greater than ourselves is at work. It’s the belief in things not seen, the trust that even when we can’t see the way forward, something beautiful is unfolding.

Whether you identify as religious or spiritual, many people have experienced moments where, looking back, they see how the challenges they faced led them to a place of profound growth and understanding. There’s a reason that “faith” is often spoken about in times of uncertainty—because it is in those moments, when we feel lost, that faith reminds us that there’s more to the story than what we see in front of us.

In these moments, it’s important to remember that what may feel like a setback is sometimes a redirection. Life, in its mysterious way, is preparing us for something far better than what we could have imagined. What we interpret as failure could be a setup for success—a process we have to go through to become who we’re truly meant to be.

Gratitude for the Darkness

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. We’re thankful for the good health, the steady job, the happy relationships. But what about when things are not going well? Can we also find gratitude in those times? Can we be thankful for the struggles, the challenges, the darkness?

I believe we can, and we should. The darkness teaches us to appreciate the light. It’s in the moments of deep struggle that we learn to recognize the power of joy, peace, and contentment when they do come. Imagine how easy it would be to take blessings for granted if we didn’t know what it was like to feel without them.

Gratitude for the darker times isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending that everything is fine. It’s about recognizing that through hardship, we grow. We become more compassionate, more understanding, more resilient. We develop a deeper sense of gratitude for the things we used to take for granted. And in this process, we cultivate a strength that can only come from facing the storms of life head-on.

Growing Through What We Go Through

Ultimately, life is about growth. We are meant to evolve, to learn, to adapt. The struggles we face aren’t there to defeat us—they are there to refine us. Every time we face a challenge, we have a choice: we can give in to defeat, or we can use that challenge as an opportunity to grow. When we choose growth, we choose the path that leads us to better versions of ourselves.

Through each struggle, we develop new skills, insights, and emotional intelligence that enable us to navigate future challenges with greater ease. And when we approach life with a mindset of growth, we begin to see opportunities in places we once saw only obstacles.

So, instead of focusing on the difficulty of the moment, let’s shift our perspective. Let’s ask ourselves: What can I learn from this experience? How can I grow from this challenge? How can I use this to become a better version of myself?

The Blessing in the Struggle

Looking back on the challenges we’ve faced, it’s easy to see how they shaped who we are today. Some of our biggest blessings may have been disguised as hardships in the beginning. The job that felt like a dead end may have led to a more fulfilling career later. The relationship that ended may have opened the door for a deeper connection with someone else. The illness or setback may have forced us to slow down and reevaluate our priorities, leading us to a healthier, more balanced life.

In the midst of struggle, we can’t always see how things will unfold, but we can trust that, just as the sun rises after the darkest nights, so too will brighter days follow our challenges. Our struggles don’t define us—they refine us, helping us become who we are meant to be, ready to embrace the blessings that are on their way.

Wrapping it up for you:

Life is a mixture of light and dark, joy and sorrow, success and failure. It’s easy to be thankful when things are going well, but the true test of our character comes when we learn to appreciate the value of struggle, to embrace the unknown with faith, and to cultivate gratitude even in the darkest moments.

Through the struggles, the setbacks, and the pain, we grow. And in that growth, we discover our deepest blessings. So, the next time life feels like it’s challenging you beyond measure, remember this: your growth is happening in those moments. You are being prepared for something far greater than you can imagine, and sometimes, the struggles you face today are the stepping stones to the blessings of tomorrow.

More about me and where I am headed…

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Finding Opportunity Amid Grief and Financial Concerns

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it. Lately, I’ve been navigating a landscape filled with grief and financial uncertainties. It’s a heavy load, and some days it feels overwhelming. But through this challenging period, I’ve started to explore new avenues to not only cope but to thrive.

Embracing Grief and Finding Strength

Grief can be a solitary journey, yet it can also be a catalyst for growth. As I process my feelings of the loss of both people and a career that I worked really hard to get into, I’ve realized the importance of channeling my energy into productive outlets. Writing has become my refuge—a way to express what I’m going through and connect with others who may feel the same.

Financial Concerns: A Wake-Up Call

Alongside my emotional struggles, financial concerns have crept in. Unexpected expenses and a tightening budget have pushed me to rethink my income sources. In this age of digital opportunities, I’ve discovered that there are several ways to generate income that align with my passions and skills.

Diving into Blogging and Copywriting

One avenue I’ve explored is blogging. Sharing my experiences not only helps me process my grief, but it also allows me to connect with a broader audience. Through my blog, I’m able to share insights, stories, and resources that others might find valuable.

I’m also diving into copywriting. The ability to craft compelling narratives and persuasive content can be a lucrative skill, especially as businesses are constantly looking for fresh ways to engage their audiences.

Proofreading: A Detail-Oriented Path

With an eye for detail, proofreading has become another potential income stream. Many writers and businesses seek out proofreaders to polish their work, and I’ve found that this skill can be both rewarding and flexible.

Cooking Up a New Project: A Cookbook

In addition to writing, I’ve always had a passion for cooking. As I’ve spent more time in the kitchen, I’ve been inspired to create a cookbook. Combining personal stories with recipes can be a beautiful way to share my journey and offer something meaningful to others.

Partnering with Primerica

Finally, I’ve recently partnered with Primerica, a company that offers financial services and education. This opportunity not only aligns with my goal of improving my financial literacy but also allows me to help others in their financial journeys. It’s a fulfilling way to turn my financial concerns into proactive solutions.

Connecting with Amazon Affiliate Links

As I embark on these ventures, I’ve also started utilizing Amazon affiliate links on my blog. Whether I’m sharing my favorite kitchen gadgets for the cookbook or recommending books that have helped me through tough times, this can be a great way to earn some extra income while providing value to my readers.

Moving Forward

While grief and financial worries can feel consuming, I’ve found that by leaning into my passions and exploring new income streams, I can create a brighter path forward. Each step—whether it’s blogging, copywriting, or working on my cookbook—feels like a small victory. I’m learning to embrace this journey, and I hope to inspire others to find their own paths through adversity.

If you’re interested in supporting my journey or exploring some of my recommended products, check out the links that I will be posting on my blog. There is also an Etsy shop, TikTok and Instagram pages for content related to mental health and navigating life. Look for Mothersenseshop on social media and of course I will be getting all of the links posted here soon. Together, we can maneuver through these challenges and discover new opportunities for growth. As always, love and light y’all, we can do this!

The Road goes on Forever…meet the crew

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Sept 2
Today I head into the local workforce center for some sort of orientation. It is mandatory because we have had to apply for federal assistance. I do not know if anyone knows or understands that being on federal assistance, when you come from a long line of blue collar joes, is a pride swallowing, soul sucking endeavor. Most people will “get” that you are asking for help, but when you are tasked with being THE person to do the asking and sometimes it feels as if you are pleading for help, it drains you. When your days are filled with phone calls concerning the health of at least one of your family members and fighting with insurance to cover things that so many take for granted. I am grateful that the assistance is there; however, I am not thrilled that I have to arrange for someone to come and stay with my family while I attend this orientation and then patch my husband through via phone because he doesn’t travel well and sitting in an office chair for 60-90 minutes will hurt him too badly. So today we will do orientation at the local workforce center. I have so much to be grateful for but right now I want to explain part of our current journey. A little “meet the crew” if you will.
My youngest girl, well she has horrible headaches and jaw problems. The simplest fix is for her to get orthodontic intervention that will re-align her jaw hopefully cutting down on the teeth grinding and most likely will put an end to most of her headaches. That is a simple solution and definitely less expensive, however Medicaid has stopped covering braces or orthodontic intervention unless it is deemed “medically necessary” so we had to be referred to a neurologist, then back to the primary care provider as a follow up and then a consultation with the orthodontist ALL so these 3 medical professionals can decide that braces and orthodontic treatment are medically necessary. Now mind you this is not a simple “straightening of the teeth” this is jaw re-alignment and straightening of the teeth which should reduce her TMJ symptoms, teeth grinding, and straighten her teeth. Someone explain to me why this loop of ridiculousness is necessary?? Why is her PCP and orthodontist word that fixing her jaw is “medically necessary” not good enough?? Oh and now the neurologist has referred us to 2 more specialists opthamologist and cardiologist, just to be on the safe side and ordered a slew of blood tests. ALL to get a jaw and teeth fixed. This is the logic I am dealing with on a daily basis. Trying to find some way to help my child who is in pain at least 4 days out of the week and often wakes herself from sleep because she is grinding her teeth!!
My husband is a different story entirely. Enrollment papers were not mailed out to us so we defaulted into a healthcare plan that we did not choose. We find out this error when his neurologist calls to confirm his appointment and get his insurance information. So guess what?? Yeah, that neurologist doesn’t accept this insurance!! So what looked like HOPE…that we got into a neurologist rather quickly has turned into NOPE…BTW I made that appointment for hubs at the same time in June that I made my daughter’s (her appointment was August 27). Primary care doctor wants to have cervical and head MRI done, to get a better picture. He tries 3 times and insurance denies. So he refers to neurologist hoping that as a specialist the neuro will have more luck getting tests ran. We may wind up going to a hospital and asking to be admitted for observation and testing. Honestly I feel desperate at times. Sleep deprived sitting up answering surveys, working my Younique business, blogging, researching figuring out some way to hustle up money to pay the bills.
My middle gal, I love her to pieces as she has such a terrific heart and she can be an incredible person. BUT, yeah you knew it was coming, she has an alphabet of diagnoses. NO really, PDD-NOS (aka autism spectrum disorder), BPD rapid cycling, ADHD, ODD and a couple of others but I try not to focus on the diagnoses because she is so much more than all of those letters. Oh and let us not forget she is also 14 and hormonal and teen girls WITHOUT any neurological and gastric issues are in and of themselves a handful. And my middle gal is more than a handful. She has good days that can be incredibly awesome where she sleeps well, wakes up refreshed and accomplishes all of her tasks for school work and even may do some chores. But those bad days man they are doozies here lately. We had taken her off medication because she was homeschooled and we wanted her to learn coping mechanisms versus using pharmaceuticals as a crutch. Don’t get me wrong, modern medicine is AMAZING, but she is still developing all of the things that will make her who she is and I (we) are not fans of what some medications can do to a developing young person.
Then we have the oldest of our girls (the ones I gave birth to) and she has dyslexia and asthma along with an old shoulder injury that acts up from time to time. She is a real doll and my biggest helper and cheer leader. She is so dang smart, until you put her on the spot to read something and then she sort of shuts down. She learns by doing and seeing things done. She loves a good story but reading is problematic and she has lovely handwriting because her stubborn little butt sat down and hand copied the library books she brought home and PRACTICED her pretty handwriting!! I let her use my kindle a lot because it has text to speech and she can make pretty much any book an audio book and I try to help her understand literature by having her follow along the text to audio or watch a movie or play versus reading them. She has pretty darn good instincts too and is sensitive to energies around her and that may come in handy with the horses she plans on training.
We also have Babyboy in the house, he is almost 6 and he was our unexpected surprise baby!! Like for real the doctor congratulated us and apologized in the same breath!! He is an awesome little dude. SO articulate and he loves Farming Simulator and Minecraft and videos of people doing things and building things. Think planes, trains, and automobiles and that pretty much cover it and LEGOS, cannot forget about legos!! He is a boy alright and also loves to be outside and get dirty but hates to take a bath and wash his hair. He is a real snuggle bug too and is so very generous with smiles and hugs and will absolutely out of nowhere tell you that he loves you.
You may have already noticed that Big boy and Big girl have left the nest to pursue other things and for that I am humbled, grateful, proud, and just a little sad. I will when necessary update on their young adult lives but my focus on this blog is the journey of life and those we encounter so be prepared to meet some characters along the way. And while it seems like time has hit fast forward in some places and in others its as if someone has hit pause. How can that be?? My kids are all growing up and getting older and yet we still seem stuck in the same situation. Faith is the hope in things not seen. Giving up is not an option when someone is calling you mommy. Love and light readers. God Bless ya for reading!

I smell fall y’all!!

by Mothersense, posted in Kids n such, Messy Life

Oh so much goes on behind the scenes here at Mothersense!! I have a new moniker to add to my collection “Jules the Mascara Mom.” It goes with my Younique experience and that comes into play with all of my other mothersense!! With the changing leaves of Fall so there are many things that change around our household!!
1)The Big Boy has left school and is now living with my parents across town. He has a job and is saving for a truck. He is also considering firefighter training or police academy!! He even paid his half of the cell bill this month!! WHOOP!! I am all about the baby steps!!
2) Big girl (not her birth mom, just her Jules) has moved off to her higher learning institution and is settling in well!! We hope she visits often because we sort of miss her and her spunk and green hair!
3)The other 4 rugrats have started back to their homeschool lessons. And co-op starts next week so we have to at least pretend that we have it all together! These guys are the ones that keep me on my toes! Fighting over computer time. Arguing about what all has to be written in the log book. Timing one another for their journal activities. Whew what a fun bunch! I am telling you the excitement about all of this school work is palatable. All kidding aside we have been very blessed to continue on the homeschooling journey and not have too many hiccups. The flexibility is really the best part because I can CUSTOMIZE their lessons to interest and engage them so that they want to learn!! Yay me, I call that WINNING!
4) My journey as an entrepreneur is still in full swing. I have always loved being my own boss and have made multiple attempts with Network Marketing and I really hope this time we can launch something I can have for years to come and my kids can be super dee duper proud to be associated! Younique is a company that makes amazing cosmetics. The Younique Foundation is on a mission to keep an open dialogue about sexual abuse of women and children! We gotta keep on keeping on!!
5) Hubby has seen his primary care doctor and his optometrist this week. Good news is that whatever is causing his pain and neuropathy is not affecting his eyesight. The bad news is that we still do not have answers as we are waiting on more MRIs and a consult with a neurologist. The primary care doc suspects MS and is treating for nerve pain and of course the degenerative disk disease, but we wait for now. And we pray and we do not give up hope. It is painful to watch my once vibrant husband reduced to such frailty that I have to help him off the toilet and up and out of chairs. He is only 37, it hard to watch, y’all!
In closing if you haven’t noticed yet http://www.julesthemascaramom.com is live and ready for any orders.
Also julesthemascaramom.net will route you to this blog where you can keep up to date on what is happening with us. The journey we are on with homechool, hubby’s disability, daughter’s special needs, and just LIFE in general!!! Subscribe below