Tag: anxiety

The Unforeseen Losses That Make Us Pause:

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Honoring Hunter and Carla

Life has a way of jolting us awake when we least expect it. Today as I took my lunch out and opened Facebook, I received heartbreaking news: my dear friend Carla took her own life on Monday, May 12, 2025—the day after Mother’s Day, and only a few months into becoming a grandmother. Just a couple of months ago, my cousin Hunter also died by suicide. Both losses have left me reeling, grappling with sorrow and a profound sense of helplessness.

I cried for Carla, for Hunter, and for the immense pain they must have carried—pain that felt insurmountable, perhaps invisible to those around them. I cried for their families, their friends, and everyone who loved them. Suicide is complex, layered with emotions and circumstances that are often difficult to untangle.

Hunter had struggled, and I imagine he was in immense pain that he felt no one could understand nor help him with. I’m not sure. Suicide is complicated, and I have come to understand that as I have gotten older.

Carla, an incredible friend and beautiful soul, took her life on Monday the 12th, the day after Mother’s Day and only a few months into being a grandma. In both cases, I cried. I cried for the ones closest to them, and I cried knowing how much they both must have hurt to feel as though the only relief they could garner was to make a permanent decision to leave this Earth.

Hunter, Carla, I hope you have peace now that you did not find while you were here with us. You are missed, you will forever be loved, and I hope in talking about your death, all of us can help someone else—make it less of a strain to talk about the hard stuff, make it easier for someone to ask for help.

The Silent Epidemic: Understanding the Scope

Suicide remains a pressing public health issue in the United States. In 2023, over 49,000 people died by suicide—that’s one death every 11 minutes. Additionally, 12.8 million adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.7 million made a plan, and 1.5 million attempted suicide. CDC+1USAFacts+1

These numbers are not just statistics; they represent individuals—friends, family members, colleagues—whose lives were cut short by overwhelming despair.

Breaking the Silence: The Importance of Open Conversations

Mental health struggles often go unnoticed, hidden behind smiles and daily routines. The stigma surrounding mental illness can prevent individuals from seeking help, fearing judgment or misunderstanding. It’s crucial to foster environments where open, honest conversations about mental health are encouraged and supported.

Organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provide resources and support for those affected by mental health conditions. By promoting education and understanding, we can create a society where seeking help is seen as a strength, not a weakness.

Resources: You’re Not Alone

If you or someone you know is struggling, please know that help is available:

Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength. You are not alone, and there are people who care and want to support you.

Honoring Their Memories

In remembering Hunter and Carla, let us commit to being more compassionate, more attentive, and more open. Let’s check in on our loved ones, listen without judgment, and encourage conversations about mental health.

Their lives, though tragically shortened, can inspire us to create a world where mental health is prioritized, and no one feels they have to suffer in silence.

Hunter, Carla, your stories matter. May your memories be a catalyst for change, a reminder of the importance of connection, and a beacon of hope for those still fighting their battles.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out. Help is available, and you are not alone.

Embracing the New Normal: A Wake-Up Call and a Way Forward

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

 No stents. No blockages. Just a second chance I’m not wasting.

I never expected to find myself in a hospital bed, surrounded by machines and uncertainty. One day I was powering through headaches, stress, and fatigue like I always had—and the next, I was in an ambulance, symptoms screaming louder than I could ignore.

The initial tests pointed toward heart failure. Blood pressure was erratic, there was tingling in my arm, nausea, and pain that wouldn’t quit. It was overwhelming and frightening. The doctors moved quickly—every test, every scan—and for a while, it looked serious. Really serious.

But then something happened.

During the heart catheterization, they found no blockages. No need for stents. No angioplasty. Despite the initial fears, my heart was not in failure—it was simply tired, maybe inflamed, but very much intact. Miraculous? Absolutely. But then again, I am my mother’s child.

Now I’m home, and this is my new normal. And I’ve decided I’m not going to waste this wake-up call.

What I’m Doing Differently:

1. Saying Goodbye to Smoking—for Good.
No more half-hearted tries. My heart deserves better. My lungs, my body, my future deserve better. It’s hard, but healing is harder. So I choose prevention now.

2. Moving More, Stressing Less.
I’m not training for a marathon. I’m training for life. Gentle exercise, stretching, walking with purpose—it all counts. I’m also learning to sit still, breathe, and not wear stress like a badge of honor.

3. Eating with Purpose.
I used to eat “pretty well,” but now I’m focused on heart-friendly foods: lower sodium, fewer processed items, more whole foods. It’s not about restriction. It’s about respect—for what my body truly needs.

4. Listening to My Body—Really Listening.
Our bodies talk to us constantly. Mine was whispering, then it screamed. I’m tuning in now. No more pushing through warning signs or normalizing discomfort.

This experience reminded me that life doesn’t always give you loud warnings. Sometimes the signs are subtle until they’re not. So here’s what I want to tell anyone reading this:

Be mindful. Be present. You’re not invincible—but you are capable of changing course before it’s too late. I got a second chance. I’m choosing to take it seriously.

Because life is too precious to sleepwalk through.

It’s the Little Things That Matter

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Life can be overwhelming. We all face challenges that sometimes feel impossible to overcome. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the passing of a loved one, it’s easy to get lost in the weight of our struggles. But here’s the thing: you’ve made it through 100% of the hard days you thought might break you. And you’re still here.

Sometimes, we forget to give ourselves credit for just surviving. Life has a way of throwing curveballs, but no matter what, you’re still standing, reading this, and doing what you can to keep moving forward. That is something worth being proud of.

It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong, what’s missing, or what hasn’t gone right. But if you can, try to shift your attention to the little things—the moments of joy and comfort that we often overlook. Those small acts of self-care that may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things actually mean so much.

So, take a deep breath. You deserve it. Maybe it’s enjoying a cup of coffee or tea in peace. Maybe it’s stepping outside for a few minutes of fresh air. Perhaps it’s treating yourself to something simple, like ordering your favorite meal or watching a show you love. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to enjoy those moments without guilt.

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. The things you do, no matter how small, matter to you. They are reminders of what you’ve endured and what you are capable of. You are allowed to take breaks. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to find joy in the simple things.

Remember, you can do this. Even on the hardest days, when you feel like you’re just barely holding on, you’re doing better than you think. Don’t forget to be proud of yourself for getting through each moment, each challenge. You are strong, and you deserve to celebrate the small victories.

The journey may not always be easy, but the little things along the way are what can keep you grounded, remind you of your strength, and help you keep moving forward. So take a moment to be proud of yourself, because you’ve earned it. You are here. And that’s enough.

Functional Freeze: How we get unstuck

by Mothersense, posted in This Life


Understanding Functional Freeze: Its Impact on Mental and Physical Well-Being and How to Break Free


We all experience moments of feeling stuck or unable to move forward, especially when faced with overwhelming stress, uncertainty, or even mundane daily pressures. However, sometimes this feeling becomes more than just a brief moment of hesitation—it can manifest as a state known as functional freeze. This state can have profound effects on our mental and physical health, making it harder to take action and feel motivated. In this post, we’ll explore what functional freeze is, how it affects us, and practical steps to help break free from it.
What is Functional Freeze?
Functional freeze is a psychological and physiological response that often occurs when our brains perceive a threat or challenge, but we feel incapable of dealing with it. It’s a state of immobilization, where we feel stuck in place—unable to move forward, make decisions, or take action. Unlike the more familiar fight-or-flight response, freeze often leads to an overall sense of stagnation rather than heightened energy.
This freeze response can be triggered by any number of factors, such as:
Overwhelm from too many tasks or responsibilities
Uncertainty or fear about the future
A traumatic or emotional event that leaves you feeling paralyzed
Anxiety or depression that creates a mental block
How Functional Freeze Affects Us
Mentally: When we experience functional freeze, our minds can become foggy, and decision-making becomes increasingly difficult. We may ruminate on problems without being able to take constructive steps to address them. This mental paralysis can also fuel anxiety and self-doubt, making us question our abilities and decisions.
Physically: On a physical level, functional freeze often results in a lack of energy or motivation. You might feel exhausted even though you haven’t done anything strenuous. This leads to a cycle of inactivity that further exacerbates feelings of helplessness or frustration. Long-term, the freeze response can also affect sleep patterns, appetite, and overall health, making it harder for your body to recover from stress.
Steps to Break Free from Functional Freeze
Acknowledge and Accept
The first step to overcoming functional freeze is acknowledging it without judgment. Recognizing that you’re in a freeze state can reduce the shame or frustration that often accompanies it. It’s important to remind yourself that this is a natural response, not a personal failure.


Start Small
When overwhelmed, the sheer scale of tasks can seem impossible. Begin by breaking things down into smaller, manageable pieces. Focus on completing a small, easy task that you know you can accomplish. The act of doing something, no matter how small, will trigger a sense of accomplishment and help you gain momentum.


Mindful Movement
Physical movement can help “reset” the body and break the freeze cycle. This doesn’t have to mean a strenuous workout—gentle stretching, yoga, or even a short walk can help release tension and get your blood flowing. Movement stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin, which can help shift your mood and energy levels.


Limit Distractions and Create a Routine
Creating structure can reduce feelings of chaos and uncertainty. Try setting a simple daily routine to provide some sense of control. Focus on one task at a time, and eliminate unnecessary distractions (like excessive phone use or social media) that can increase feelings of overwhelm.


Talk to Someone
Sometimes, the best way to snap out of functional freeze is by talking it out. Find a friend, family member, or therapist to express how you’re feeling. Speaking about your thoughts can provide clarity, help you process emotions, and even offer new perspectives on your situation.


Practice Self-Compassion
Don’t be hard on yourself if you’re feeling stuck. Functional freeze doesn’t mean you’re lazy or incapable—it’s simply a natural response to stress. Give yourself grace, and understand that breaking free from this state is a process. Be patient with yourself as you take small steps toward recovery.


Seek Professional Help if Needed
If you find that functional freeze is affecting your day-to-day life for an extended period of time, it may be helpful to talk to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as help you address the root causes of your freeze response.


Final Thoughts
Functional freeze is a challenging state that many of us face at different points in our lives. While it can feel isolating and overwhelming, it’s important to remember that there are ways to break free. By acknowledging the freeze, taking small actions, and practicing self-care, you can regain your sense of control and start moving forward again—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
If you’re currently in a freeze state, take a deep breath, and remember: You are not alone, and you have the power to move past this.

Anxiety vs Panic Attack

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Good Monday to you!! Whew!! The days of 2025 have been flying by, January is nearly half-way over. Thirteen days into a new year and I have experienced several anxiety attacks and 2 panic attacks. You may ask me: “Aren’t they the same thing?” I would have to answer you and tell you: “Absolutely not!” 

Anxiety and panic attacks can feel overwhelming and terrifying, often hitting without warning. Whether you’re dealing with a long-standing anxiety disorder or just experiencing the occasional panic episode, or if you are a lucky duck like me, you get both, learning how to manage these attacks effectively can significantly improve your mental and emotional well-being. In this post, we’ll explore ways to cope during a panic or anxiety attack, as well as strategies for dealing with the aftereffects, often referred to as the “hangover” feeling, which can leave you feeling drained, disoriented, or emotionally worn out.

Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are related but distinct experiences. Anxiety attacks are usually tied to heightened worry and tension over a specific situation or set of circumstances. These attacks may build up over time and can manifest in physical symptoms like increased heart rate, muscle tension, dizziness, or irritability.

On the other hand, panic attacks occur suddenly and typically come without any clear trigger. They are often intense and overwhelming, causing shortness of breath, chest pain, rapid heartbeat, sweating, chills, and feelings of impending doom. A panic attack might make you feel as though you’re losing control or even having a heart attack, though they are not life-threatening.

While panic attacks can be deeply distressing in the moment, both types of attacks can leave emotional and physical aftereffects once they subside. This period of time, often described as a “hangover,” can make it feel even harder to cope with daily life. But with the right tools and techniques, it’s possible to better manage these episodes and reduce their impact on your day-to-day life. It may take some time and practice to experience fewer episodes, and it may even require medication, but it can be managed.

Coping Strategies During an Anxiety or Panic Attack

  1. Grounding Techniques: Grounding is one of the most effective strategies to bring your focus back to the present moment. One popular method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you engage your senses to distract your mind:
    • 5 things you can see
    • 4 things you can touch
    • 3 things you can hear
    • 2 things you can smell
    • 1 thing you can taste
  2. This method helps break the cycle of anxious thinking and can provide a sense of control during an attack.
  3. Deep Breathing: During an anxiety or panic attack, your breathing tends to become shallow or erratic. Focusing on slow, deep breaths can help calm your nervous system. Try breathing in for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of four. Repeat this process several times until you begin to feel more centered.
  4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): PMR involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from your toes and working up to your head. This technique helps to release the physical tension that often accompanies anxiety and panic attacks and can promote a sense of calm.
  5. Mindfulness and Self-Talk: Anxiety and panic attacks can fuel irrational thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself that the attack, although uncomfortable, is not life-threatening. Reassure yourself with affirmations such as, “This will pass,” or “I am safe.” Mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on your breath or engaging in a simple task, can also help to pull you out of the fight-or-flight response.
  6. Finding a Safe Space: If possible, remove yourself from the situation that is triggering the attack. Find a quiet, calm space where you can regain control of your breathing and thoughts. This may help prevent the attack from intensifying.

Managing the “Hangover” After an Anxiety or Panic Attack

After the intensity of an anxiety or panic attack subsides, many people experience lingering effects. The “hangover” of an anxiety or panic attack can include feelings of exhaustion, irritability, brain fog, and heightened sensitivity. Here are some strategies to help you manage this period:

  1. Rest and Recover: Panic and anxiety attacks can be physically and emotionally draining. Allow yourself time to rest, hydrate, and eat well to replenish your energy. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you need to take it easy for a while after an episode.
  2. Gentle Movement: While rest is important, gentle movement like stretching or a short walk can help release the remaining tension in your body. It can also boost your mood by increasing the production of endorphins, which promote feelings of well-being.
  3. Journal Your Experience: After an attack, journaling can be a helpful way to process your emotions. Write down what happened, how you felt, and any triggers that may have contributed to the episode. Reflecting on these experiences can give you insight into your anxiety and help you identify patterns, which may be useful for future coping strategies.
  4. Self-Compassion: It’s easy to fall into negative self-talk after an anxiety or panic attack, especially if you feel like you’ve lost control. Be kind to yourself and recognize that anxiety is a condition that many people experience. Acknowledge your efforts in managing the situation and give yourself credit for coping in a difficult moment.
  5. Talk to a Professional: If the hangover effects persist or interfere with your daily life, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches are effective tools for managing anxiety and preventing future panic attacks. Additionally, if you’re not already under the care of a mental health professional, they can help you create a treatment plan tailored to your needs.

Long-Term Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Panic Attacks

While coping during an anxiety or panic attack is essential, it’s also important to develop long-term strategies for managing your overall anxiety. These may include:

  • Regular Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce overall anxiety by releasing tension, improving mood, and promoting better sleep.
  • Meditation and Mindfulness: Incorporating daily mindfulness practices can help train your mind to stay calm and present, making you less likely to be overwhelmed by anxiety.
  • Adequate Sleep: Lack of sleep can heighten anxiety. Prioritize sleep hygiene and aim for a consistent sleep schedule.
  • Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Balanced nutrition, hydration, and reducing caffeine and alcohol intake can all play a role in managing anxiety.
  • Support System: Talking with friends, family, or support groups can make you feel less isolated and more connected.

Final Thoughts

Anxiety and panic attacks can be difficult to navigate, but with practice, you can learn to manage and cope with them more effectively. By using grounding techniques, deep breathing, and other coping mechanisms, you can reduce the intensity of these attacks and feel more in control when they occur. Additionally, learning to manage the emotional and physical aftereffects—what some call the “hangover”—will help you recover and move forward more quickly.

Above all, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to have moments where things feel out of control. What matters most is how you respond and the strategies you develop to take care of yourself in the aftermath. With time, patience, and the right tools, you can reduce the impact of anxiety and panic attacks on your life and regain a sense of peace and stability