Tag: wife

Breaking Free from Your Comfort Zone

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Where Growth Begins
We all love our comfort zones. They’re warm, familiar, and safe — a space where
routines rule, risks are low, and uncertainty is kept at bay. It’s where we feel in control.
But while this space might feel cozy, it can also become a quiet trap, keeping us stuck in
sameness and stalling our potential.
Growth, learning, and transformation don’t happen in the comfort zone. They begin the
moment we stretch beyond it — when we test our limits, explore the unfamiliar, and
challenge our own self-imposed boundaries.

The Power of the Stretch
Stretching beyond the comfort zone doesn’t mean making reckless decisions or chasing
extremes. It means trying something new, stepping into the unknown even if your voice
shakes, and accepting that discomfort is part of the journey.
Maybe it’s launching that business idea you’ve been sitting on. Or finally signing up for
that fitness class. Maybe it’s starting a creative project, speaking in public, or even just
introducing yourself to someone new. Each step outside the comfort zone is a vote of
confidence in yourself.
The truth is, you can’t grow without a little stretch. That’s how muscles develop, skills
sharpen, and people evolve.

Rethinking Failure: A Learning Opportunity
One of the biggest reasons we cling to the comfort zone is fear — especially the fear of
failure. But what if we started seeing failure for what it really is: a First Attempt In
Learning?

Failure is not a dead-end. It’s feedback. It teaches resilience, refines strategies, and
builds wisdom. Every successful person has failed — not once, but often. The
difference is, they didn’t stop there. They saw failure not as a reflection of their worth,
but as a stepping stone to growth.
Let’s drop the perfectionism. We are often our own harshest critics, expecting ourselves
to get everything right the first time. But perfection is a myth — progress is real. Give
yourself permission to be a beginner. To stumble. To grow messy and real, instead of
polished and safe.

Investing in Yourself Is the Boldest Move You Can Make
Whether you’re dreaming of building a business, learning a new hobby, improving your
health, or expanding your social circle — the first step is the scariest. But it’s also the
most empowering.
Taking a leap of faith isn’t about having zero fear — it’s about moving forward despite
the fear. It’s telling yourself, “I may not have all the answers yet, but I believe I’m worth
the effort.”

A Challenge for You
Today, take one small step outside your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be dramatic.
Maybe it’s sharing your work online, reaching out to someone you admire, or signing up
for a class. Whatever it is, let it be a declaration: I am willing to grow.
You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be brave enough to begin.

Remember: Your comfort zone may feel safe, but your potential lives outside of it. Take
the leap. Stretch. Fail. Learn. And most importantly, believe in yourself enough to try.

Redefining Success: Finding Peace in Life’s Surprises

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Facing Life’s Uncertainties: Embracing the Next Chapter

At some point in our lives, we all find ourselves in that moment of reflection—the one where we look around and say, “This isn’t what I expected my life to be.” It doesn’t matter what age you are; this feeling can creep up on anyone. Whether you’re 25, 35, 45, or even nearing 60 or 65, you might find yourself questioning the trajectory of your life. Perhaps you’re not where you thought you would be. Maybe your dreams didn’t quite unfold the way you envisioned, or unexpected changes like a career shift, a loss, or a new phase of life are making you ask, “What’s next?”

Life is a journey full of unexpected twists and turns, and as we grow older, we often find ourselves facing moments of doubt and uncertainty. These feelings of questioning and reflection are commonly referred to as an “existential crisis,” and they can come at any age. Whether it’s a mid-life crisis, a career change, the loss of a loved one, or just an overwhelming sense that things aren’t where they should be, this feeling is universal. However, that doesn’t mean it has to be a negative or immobilizing experience. In fact, it can be a powerful opportunity for growth and reinvention.

So, what can you do when you feel like life hasn’t gone as expected? How can you navigate these moments of doubt and find peace and purpose moving forward?

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

First and foremost, it’s essential to acknowledge that feeling uncertain or disillusioned is normal. There’s no shame in having moments of doubt. If anything, it shows that you are human. These moments are often accompanied by frustration, regret, or even sadness—but these emotions are valid, and you don’t need to suppress them. Allowing yourself to feel them without judgment is the first step to moving forward.

Take time to process these emotions, whether it’s through journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or simply sitting with your thoughts. Reflect on what led you to this point and recognize that it’s okay to have expectations that evolve as life changes.

2. Reframe Your Perspective

One of the most important things you can do when facing an existential crisis is to reframe your perspective. Instead of seeing this period of uncertainty as a failure or missed opportunity, consider it as an invitation to reevaluate your goals, dreams, and values.

The truth is, life rarely unfolds in a straight line. It’s often full of detours, challenges, and moments where we stray from the original path. But these detours can offer new perspectives and experiences that are equally as valuable—if not more so—than the original plan. Look at your life as a work in progress, not a finished product. Each stage and each change has brought you to where you are, and this is part of the adventure.

3. Redefine Success

We often define success based on societal standards: a certain career, financial security, family life, or status. But as you get older, you begin to realize that success is a deeply personal experience. What once seemed like the perfect blueprint for happiness may no longer hold the same allure. This is your opportunity to redefine what success means for you.

Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? Is it happiness? Freedom? Creativity? Fulfillment? Health? Relationships? Redefining success based on your own values rather than external expectations will bring you greater satisfaction and peace of mind as you move forward.

4. Embrace Change and Let Go of the Past

The fear of change often holds us back from taking the necessary steps to move forward. We can get so attached to our past choices, relationships, and circumstances that we resist change, even when it’s for the better. However, change is inevitable, and sometimes it’s necessary for growth.

If you’re stuck in a place of regret or resentment, it’s important to work through these feelings and find a way to let go. Holding on to the past only keeps you anchored in a time that no longer serves you. Forgive yourself for the things you didn’t know or the decisions you wish you could take back. Life is about learning and evolving, and each decision, whether good or bad, has contributed to who you are today.

5. Take Small Steps Toward a New Beginning

When facing an existential crisis, it can feel overwhelming to think about making big changes all at once. Instead of focusing on the end goal, take small steps toward what’s next. Start with something simple, whether it’s taking up a new hobby, learning a new skill, or revisiting an old passion that brought you joy.

You don’t have to make dramatic life-altering decisions overnight. Change is often most sustainable when it’s gradual and intentional. These small steps will help you rediscover what excites and motivates you. Over time, they’ll lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and confidence.

6. Seek Support

You don’t have to go through this alone. Seek out support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate these difficult emotions. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re feeling can provide clarity and a fresh perspective. If you’re facing significant life changes, such as retirement or loss, talking with others who are going through similar experiences can be incredibly comforting and reassuring.

Remember that no matter how isolated you may feel, you are not alone. Many people have faced moments of uncertainty and emerged stronger, wiser, and more at peace with who they are. Having a support system is key to maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.

7. Embrace the Unknown

One of the most liberating things you can do when faced with an existential crisis is to embrace the unknown. Life is unpredictable, and while we may want to have everything mapped out, the beauty of life often lies in its uncertainty. It’s okay not to have all the answers.

By embracing uncertainty, you open yourself up to new possibilities and opportunities. You might not know exactly what the future holds, but that’s where the adventure lies. By remaining open to change, you allow space for creativity, growth, and the unexpected joys that life can bring.

8. Focus on What You Can Control

During times of uncertainty, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the things outside of your control. However, focusing on what you can control—your mindset, your actions, and your attitude—can empower you to take charge of your future. When life feels chaotic, focusing on small, actionable steps can provide a sense of stability and purpose.

Take care of your mental and physical health, nurture your relationships, and pursue goals that are meaningful to you. The more you focus on the areas where you have agency, the more empowered you’ll feel to navigate whatever life throws your way.

Conclusion: Live and Light

Life will never unfold exactly as we expect it, and that’s okay. What matters most is how we respond to the curveballs life throws at us. If you find yourself feeling stuck or questioning where you are in life, remember that it’s not the end of the road—it’s the beginning of something new.

Take a deep breath, acknowledge your feelings, and know that the next chapter is yours to write. Embrace change, redefine your success, seek support, and take small steps toward the future you desire. Life is about growth, reinvention, and embracing whatever comes next.

Sign off with a sense of lightness. You are not alone in this journey, and every step forward—no matter how small—is progress. Keep living, keep evolving, and keep finding the joy in the unexpected.

Finding Calm When Feeling Stuck

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

What can you do when you feel helpless? Maybe your job search is dragging out and you feel like it’s never-ending, maybe your kid is sick and you don’t have answers to why, maybe things are rough in a friendship, family, or marriage and you have done every possible thing you know to do….what can you do next? What will be helpful?

It can be hard to feel helpless. To have to be still and wait for answers or just waiting at all can take so much energy. When things feel out of your control, and you’ve already tried everything you can think of, it’s easy to feel stuck, like there’s no next step. But there are ways to move forward, even if they’re small steps.

I do want to say I think it’s key to acknowledge that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to feel like you’ve reached a limit. Feeling helpless is a very human experience, and being kind to yourself during that time is huge. When you’re in a tough spot, here are some things that might help:

  1. Take a Break and Breathe: Sometimes, when we’re so deep in the weeds of a difficult situation, we forget to step back and take a breather. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but giving yourself a moment of mental clarity to recharge. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even taking a walk can reset your nervous system and give you a fresh perspective.
  2. Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing how you’re feeling can be a huge relief. Sometimes just verbalizing the weight of everything you’re carrying can make it feel lighter. You don’t need someone to have all the answers – you just need someone who will listen. And sometimes maybe you just talk to yourself. Yup. I said it, talk to yourself, sometimes saying things out loud helps you to feel better about the in between, the waiting, the PAUSE if you will. 
  3. Let Go of What’s Beyond Your Control: It’s difficult, but part of feeling helpless comes from trying to control everything. If you’ve done everything you can and you’re still not seeing results, sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender a bit. Trust that things will work out in their own time. It’s not giving up – it’s giving yourself permission to stop shouldering the weight of things you can’t fix right now.
  4. Focus on Small Wins: If the big picture feels overwhelming, try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Is there one small action you can take today to improve your situation, even just a little? Maybe that’s applying for one more job, researching new treatment options for your child, or reaching out to a friend to have a real conversation about what’s going on.
  5. Seek New Resources or Perspectives: Sometimes we can feel stuck because we’re too close to a problem, or we’ve exhausted the usual ways of looking at it. Maybe it’s time to seek out a new perspective – whether that’s reading a book on personal growth, talking to a mentor, or exploring new treatment options or support groups for your situation.
  6. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion: Growth or healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and that’s hard to deal with when you’re in the middle of it. Being gentle with yourself during these moments and remembering that things won’t always feel like this can help maintain hope.

Starting the year right

by Mothersense, posted in Messy Life

Start the Year Right: A Financial Check-Up and Planning for the Unexpected

As January is flying by, it’s a great time to hit the refresh button on many aspects of your life—your finances included. While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of New Year’s resolutions and personal goals, one of the most important things you can do at the start of the year is ensure that your financial and legal documents are in order. Doing a financial check-up and reviewing critical documents may not be the most thrilling task, but it can save your family from unnecessary stress and confusion should something happen to you or your spouse.

1. Perform a Financial Check-Up

Start by reviewing your financial situation:

  • Review your budget and spending habits: Are you living within your means? Have your financial goals changed? It’s important to adjust your budget to reflect your current priorities, whether that’s saving for a major purchase, paying off debt, or investing in retirement.
  • Check your credit report: Get a copy of your credit report to ensure there are no errors or signs of identity theft. Correcting mistakes early can save you a lot of headaches down the line.
  • Evaluate your emergency savings: Ideally, you should have 3-6 months of living expenses saved up in case of unexpected emergencies. If this isn’t the case, make it a priority this year to build or replenish your emergency fund.
  • Revisit retirement and investment accounts: Check in on the performance of your retirement accounts and investment portfolios. Make sure your contributions align with your goals and, if necessary, adjust your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.

2. Update Your Will and Trust

Many people put off creating a will or updating it because it can feel morbid or overwhelming. However, it’s a crucial step in ensuring your assets are distributed according to your wishes and that your family members are taken care of. If your circumstances have changed—perhaps you’ve acquired new assets, had a child, or experienced a life event like a marriage or divorce—be sure to revise your will to reflect these changes. You may also want to consider setting up a trust to avoid probate and streamline the transfer of assets.

3. Review Beneficiaries for Insurance and Bank Accounts

It’s not uncommon for people to forget to update their beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement accounts (like 401(k)s or IRAs), and even bank accounts. If you’ve had any life changes—such as a marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child—this should be a top priority. Ensure that the beneficiaries listed reflect your current wishes and that your loved ones will be taken care of in the event of your death.

4. Set Up Power of Attorney

A Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal document that designates someone to make financial decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to do so yourself due to illness, injury, or incapacitation. Having a trusted person in place who can handle financial matters for you is essential to ensure your financial obligations are met during a difficult time. You can also set up a Healthcare Power of Attorney to appoint someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to communicate those decisions yourself.

5. Create Advance Directives

An advance directive (also known as a living will) outlines your preferences for medical care should you be in a position where you cannot express your wishes. This can include instructions for life-sustaining treatment, organ donation, and other aspects of end-of-life care. Many people shy away from thinking about these situations, but having clear, legally recognized instructions can relieve your loved ones of difficult decisions during emotionally charged times. Make sure your advance directives are signed, dated, and stored in a place where your family can easily access them.

6. Organize Your Documents and Make Things Easy for Your Family

Beyond the legal documents and financial accounts, consider organizing important information for your family. Create a document or folder where you record all necessary details about your accounts, passwords, insurance policies, and any other key information that your family members may need in the event of an emergency or your passing. Include things like:

  • Where you keep physical documents
  • Account numbers, login details, and passwords (using a password manager is a secure option)
  • Insurance policies, including life, home, auto, and health
  • Contact information for professionals (lawyers, accountants, financial advisors)

While it might seem like a lot of work upfront, taking the time to get your affairs in order now can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

7. Talk to Your Family About Your Wishes

Beyond the paperwork, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your wishes. This includes discussing things like your preferences for healthcare, your end-of-life care decisions (such as a Do Not Resuscitate or DNR order), and what you want to happen with your possessions. While it may feel uncomfortable, leaving these things unspoken can lead to confusion, stress, and even family conflict when emotions run high.

The Importance of Doing the Work

It may seem daunting to go through this process, but it’s far better to address these matters now than leave your family to guess your intentions. If you were to fall ill or unexpectedly pass away, having these legal and financial arrangements in place would ensure that your family isn’t left scrambling, unsure of your wishes, or dealing with unnecessary administrative headaches. It’s not about being morbid—it’s about being proactive and ensuring that your loved ones have clarity and peace of mind when they need it most.

This year, make it a priority to set aside time for your financial and legal check-up. You’ll feel better knowing that you’ve taken steps to protect your family and their future.

Anxiety vs Panic Attack

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Good Monday to you!! Whew!! The days of 2025 have been flying by, January is nearly half-way over. Thirteen days into a new year and I have experienced several anxiety attacks and 2 panic attacks. You may ask me: “Aren’t they the same thing?” I would have to answer you and tell you: “Absolutely not!” 

Anxiety and panic attacks can feel overwhelming and terrifying, often hitting without warning. Whether you’re dealing with a long-standing anxiety disorder or just experiencing the occasional panic episode, or if you are a lucky duck like me, you get both, learning how to manage these attacks effectively can significantly improve your mental and emotional well-being. In this post, we’ll explore ways to cope during a panic or anxiety attack, as well as strategies for dealing with the aftereffects, often referred to as the “hangover” feeling, which can leave you feeling drained, disoriented, or emotionally worn out.

Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are related but distinct experiences. Anxiety attacks are usually tied to heightened worry and tension over a specific situation or set of circumstances. These attacks may build up over time and can manifest in physical symptoms like increased heart rate, muscle tension, dizziness, or irritability.

On the other hand, panic attacks occur suddenly and typically come without any clear trigger. They are often intense and overwhelming, causing shortness of breath, chest pain, rapid heartbeat, sweating, chills, and feelings of impending doom. A panic attack might make you feel as though you’re losing control or even having a heart attack, though they are not life-threatening.

While panic attacks can be deeply distressing in the moment, both types of attacks can leave emotional and physical aftereffects once they subside. This period of time, often described as a “hangover,” can make it feel even harder to cope with daily life. But with the right tools and techniques, it’s possible to better manage these episodes and reduce their impact on your day-to-day life. It may take some time and practice to experience fewer episodes, and it may even require medication, but it can be managed.

Coping Strategies During an Anxiety or Panic Attack

  1. Grounding Techniques: Grounding is one of the most effective strategies to bring your focus back to the present moment. One popular method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you engage your senses to distract your mind:
    • 5 things you can see
    • 4 things you can touch
    • 3 things you can hear
    • 2 things you can smell
    • 1 thing you can taste
  2. This method helps break the cycle of anxious thinking and can provide a sense of control during an attack.
  3. Deep Breathing: During an anxiety or panic attack, your breathing tends to become shallow or erratic. Focusing on slow, deep breaths can help calm your nervous system. Try breathing in for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of four. Repeat this process several times until you begin to feel more centered.
  4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): PMR involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from your toes and working up to your head. This technique helps to release the physical tension that often accompanies anxiety and panic attacks and can promote a sense of calm.
  5. Mindfulness and Self-Talk: Anxiety and panic attacks can fuel irrational thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself that the attack, although uncomfortable, is not life-threatening. Reassure yourself with affirmations such as, “This will pass,” or “I am safe.” Mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on your breath or engaging in a simple task, can also help to pull you out of the fight-or-flight response.
  6. Finding a Safe Space: If possible, remove yourself from the situation that is triggering the attack. Find a quiet, calm space where you can regain control of your breathing and thoughts. This may help prevent the attack from intensifying.

Managing the “Hangover” After an Anxiety or Panic Attack

After the intensity of an anxiety or panic attack subsides, many people experience lingering effects. The “hangover” of an anxiety or panic attack can include feelings of exhaustion, irritability, brain fog, and heightened sensitivity. Here are some strategies to help you manage this period:

  1. Rest and Recover: Panic and anxiety attacks can be physically and emotionally draining. Allow yourself time to rest, hydrate, and eat well to replenish your energy. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you need to take it easy for a while after an episode.
  2. Gentle Movement: While rest is important, gentle movement like stretching or a short walk can help release the remaining tension in your body. It can also boost your mood by increasing the production of endorphins, which promote feelings of well-being.
  3. Journal Your Experience: After an attack, journaling can be a helpful way to process your emotions. Write down what happened, how you felt, and any triggers that may have contributed to the episode. Reflecting on these experiences can give you insight into your anxiety and help you identify patterns, which may be useful for future coping strategies.
  4. Self-Compassion: It’s easy to fall into negative self-talk after an anxiety or panic attack, especially if you feel like you’ve lost control. Be kind to yourself and recognize that anxiety is a condition that many people experience. Acknowledge your efforts in managing the situation and give yourself credit for coping in a difficult moment.
  5. Talk to a Professional: If the hangover effects persist or interfere with your daily life, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches are effective tools for managing anxiety and preventing future panic attacks. Additionally, if you’re not already under the care of a mental health professional, they can help you create a treatment plan tailored to your needs.

Long-Term Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Panic Attacks

While coping during an anxiety or panic attack is essential, it’s also important to develop long-term strategies for managing your overall anxiety. These may include:

  • Regular Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce overall anxiety by releasing tension, improving mood, and promoting better sleep.
  • Meditation and Mindfulness: Incorporating daily mindfulness practices can help train your mind to stay calm and present, making you less likely to be overwhelmed by anxiety.
  • Adequate Sleep: Lack of sleep can heighten anxiety. Prioritize sleep hygiene and aim for a consistent sleep schedule.
  • Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Balanced nutrition, hydration, and reducing caffeine and alcohol intake can all play a role in managing anxiety.
  • Support System: Talking with friends, family, or support groups can make you feel less isolated and more connected.

Final Thoughts

Anxiety and panic attacks can be difficult to navigate, but with practice, you can learn to manage and cope with them more effectively. By using grounding techniques, deep breathing, and other coping mechanisms, you can reduce the intensity of these attacks and feel more in control when they occur. Additionally, learning to manage the emotional and physical aftereffects—what some call the “hangover”—will help you recover and move forward more quickly.

Above all, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to have moments where things feel out of control. What matters most is how you respond and the strategies you develop to take care of yourself in the aftermath. With time, patience, and the right tools, you can reduce the impact of anxiety and panic attacks on your life and regain a sense of peace and stability