Author: Mothersense

I am a mother to wonderfully challenging children. I married my best friend. Eternal Student. Amateur Photographer. Friend. Caregiver. I taught English in public schools for 2 years and am now working at home proofreading and copywriting and working in financial services. I write about my experiences in life and those of loved ones.

Left Behind…

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

A Final Desperate Act of Pain

The loss of a loved one to suicide is one of the most heart-wrenching experiences anyone can go through. It is a final, desperate act of someone who feels trapped in their own pain, someone who believes that ending their life is the only way to escape the overwhelming darkness. It is a struggle that often goes unnoticed until it’s too late, and even those closest to them may be left with a sense of guilt, confusion, and helplessness, asking themselves if they could have done something to prevent it.

Sadly, I write this post with a heavy heart, as a young man in my family—someone filled with potential, hope, and kindness—lost his battle with mental health last week. As his cousin, I can tell you that he was a vibrant soul. But like so many others who suffer in silence, he fought a private battle that no one could see until it was too late.

The Struggle Behind the Silence

Suicide does not always have an easily identifiable cause. People can appear to be thriving on the outside, but their inner turmoil remains hidden. Mental health issues like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and PTSD can manifest in ways that others may not recognize.

It’s easy to believe that only those who show visible signs of distress or depression are at risk, but that’s not the case. People who smile, joke, and appear happy on the outside may be suffering in ways that others don’t understand. Their internal struggle is just as real—perhaps even more so because they are hiding it from those around them.

Who Might Be at Risk?

While anyone can experience the emotional pain that leads to suicidal thoughts, certain factors can increase the risk of someone contemplating suicide:

1. **Depression and Anxiety:** These are two of the most common mental health conditions associated with suicide. Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and fear of the future can be overwhelming.
  
2. **Substance Abuse:** Alcohol and drugs can exacerbate feelings of depression and desperation, often clouding judgment and making someone more impulsive.
  
3. **Past Trauma:** Individuals who have experienced trauma—whether physical, emotional, or sexual—are at higher risk of suicidal thoughts, especially if they have not sought help for their trauma.
  
4. **Social Isolation:** People who feel isolated, disconnected from family or friends, or unsupported are at an increased risk. Loneliness can exacerbate feelings of despair.
  
5. **Chronic Illness or Pain:** Long-term physical illness or pain can be both mentally and physically exhausting, sometimes leading to feelings of hopelessness.

Signs to Look For—And Why It’s Easy to Miss Them

It can be difficult to notice the signs of suicidal thoughts, especially in individuals who are good at hiding their pain. But there are signs to be aware of, even if they seem subtle:

1. **Withdrawal from Others:** A person may start distancing themselves from friends and family, avoiding activities they once enjoyed.
  
2. **Uncharacteristic Mood Changes:** Extreme mood swings, irritability, or noticeable apathy may signal inner turmoil.
  
3. **Talking About Death or Suicide:** If someone talks about feeling worthless, hopeless, or wishing they weren’t here, it should be taken seriously.
  
4. **Changes in Behavior:** A decline in work or school performance, neglect of personal hygiene, or a noticeable drop in energy can all be signs of depression.
  
5. **Giving Away Possessions:** If someone is suddenly giving away their personal items or making arrangements for after they’re gone, it’s an alarming indicator.

However, not all signs are obvious. Many people who struggle with suicidal thoughts may not show any outward signs of distress at all. They may have learned to mask their pain with laughter or engage in activities to keep themselves busy. It’s important to remember that sometimes, people who seem perfectly fine on the surface may be in the most pain.

For Those Left Behind: The Pain of Guilt and Wondering What Could Have Been Done

The family members and loved ones left behind are often faced with an overwhelming sense of guilt. Could I have seen the signs? Should I have said something? These are questions that can haunt you long after the loss.

It’s important to know that you are not alone in this. Many people who lose someone to suicide feel a deep sense of confusion, wondering if they missed something or could have done more. The truth is, those who struggle with mental health challenges often hide their pain from the world around them, even from the people they love the most.

While it’s normal to feel regret, it’s also important to recognize that mental health is complicated. There’s no easy solution, no guaranteed way to prevent someone from making the ultimate decision to take their life. The most important thing you can do now is to remember your loved one for the joy they brought into the world, and not just their final act.

Resources for Those Who Struggle

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, it is crucial to seek help immediately. There is always hope, and there are people ready to listen and support you through the darkest times.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or text HELLO to 741741.

Support is available 24/7.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA) to connect with a trained crisis counselor.


Samaritans (UK & Ireland): Call 116 123 for free, confidential support 24/7.


Lifeline (Australia):  Call 13 11 14 for immediate support.


Local Mental Health Centers or Therapists: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a local therapist or mental health center for professional guidance.

How to Help Others Who May Be Struggling

If you suspect someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health issues, don’t be afraid to ask them about it. Ask directly but compassionately. It’s okay to say, “I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about harming yourself?” Your openness can help create an environment where they feel safe to talk about their feelings.

Sometimes, just being there and listening without judgment can make a world of difference.

Conclusion: Ending the Stigma Around Suicide

Suicide is a deeply personal and tragic choice. It’s a final act of despair that often feels like the only way to end the pain. Those left behind may never fully understand what their loved one went through, but it’s important to remember that mental health struggles are real, and they deserve compassion, understanding, and attention.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There is always hope, and there are people who care. Let’s work together to end the stigma around mental health and create a world where people feel safe enough to reach out before it’s too late.

February Focus: Emotional Wellness and Financial Health

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Can you believe it’s finally February? The month of new beginnings, fresh energy, and a chance to hit the reset button. After January’s burst of “new year, new me” energy, February feels like the perfect time to dig into the quiet work of getting ourselves on track for the long haul. Let’s talk about what we can focus on in 2025 to set the tone for a healthier, wealthier, and more balanced life.

1. Feeling the Feelings and Being Gentle With Ourselves

First and foremost, February is a time to check in with yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle, but we have to remind ourselves that the journey is just as important as the destination. If the past month has been full of ups and downs—whether it’s the pressure to “get it all together” or just the stress of regular life—it’s okay to take a breath. We don’t have to be perfect.

Take some time this month to check in with how you’re feeling. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or simply sitting in quiet reflection, allowing yourself the space to feel and process emotions is critical. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

2. Financial Health: Get Yourself in a Good Position

Now, let’s talk about money. It’s no secret that financial health is a cornerstone of peace of mind, and February is the perfect time to make sure you’re in a good spot. Whether you’re setting up a budget, reviewing your savings goals, or working on debt repayment, small steps can make a big difference.

Take a look at where your money is going. Are there places where you can cut back without sacrificing too much? Consider setting up an automatic transfer to a savings account, or committing to sticking to a more realistic budget this month.

It’s also a great time to look ahead—think about any big financial goals in the works for 2025 and break them down into manageable steps. Little actions today can set you up for big rewards in the future.

3. Insurance: Reviewing What You’ve Got

When was the last time you took a look at your insurance policies? Whether it’s life, health, or car insurance, it’s important to regularly review what you’re paying for and what coverage you need.

Life Insurance: Maybe you’ve got a policy in place, but is it still enough to cover your loved ones if anything were to happen? Consider whether your current life insurance aligns with your family’s needs, especially if there have been any changes in your life since you last checked.

Health Insurance: With medical costs on the rise, it’s crucial to make sure you have the right coverage. Are you using the benefits to their fullest? And if you’re not feeling completely confident in your plan, now’s a good time to shop around during open enrollment or ask your employer about options.

Car Insurance: Have you kept up with the best rates for your car insurance? Are you overpaying for coverage you don’t need, or missing out on discounts? Take a moment to assess your coverage, especially if you’ve made any changes to your vehicle, and ensure you’re not overpaying.

4. The Will: Reviewing or Getting Started

This is one of those things we all know we should do but often put off. Have you reviewed your will recently? If you don’t have one, February is the perfect time to get the ball rolling. A will isn’t just for the elderly or the super wealthy; it’s for anyone who has people or things they care about. It’s about making sure your wishes are known and protecting your loved ones when the time comes.

Take small steps—get the information you need, talk to a legal professional, or even start drafting it yourself. It’s a big task, but breaking it down into manageable pieces will make it easier. And the peace of mind it brings? Worth every second.

5. Mindful Consumption: What Are You Taking In?

What are you consuming right now—physically, mentally, and emotionally? February is a great month to reevaluate what we’re putting into our bodies and our minds.

Food: What are you fueling yourself with? February might bring a craving for comfort food, but it’s also the perfect time to check in with your nutritional habits. Maybe experiment with some healthier recipes or challenge yourself to make a few small changes to feel better in your body. Small actions today can lead to long-term energy and vitality.

Media Consumption: Take a look at what you’re watching, reading, and scrolling through on a daily basis. Are you absorbing content that lifts you up or drains you? Maybe now’s the time to cut out things that no longer serve you—whether it’s scrolling mindlessly on social media or binge-watching TV shows that leave you feeling uninspired.

Try replacing some of your usual content with books, podcasts, or documentaries that will help you grow, stay motivated, and nurture your mental health. Curating what you consume can make a huge difference in your overall well-being.

6. Small Steps, Big Goals

This is the year for taking small steps toward your BIG goals. Whether it’s getting your finances in order, improving your health, or tackling big life changes, 2025 is the year to make steady progress. Remember, no goal is achieved overnight. But with consistent effort, a little at a time, you’ll find yourself closer than ever to where you want to be.

It’s the small actions—like setting aside 15 minutes each day for mindfulness, reviewing your insurance every year, or tweaking your budget—that compound over time and lead to significant results.

As we move through February and into the rest of the year, let’s focus on being gentle with ourselves, staying proactive with our responsibilities, and making thoughtful decisions. 2025 is about feeling the feelings, making steady financial progress, and building a life we can look back on with pride. So, let’s take those small steps—because each one gets us closer to the big goals.

Happy February! Let’s make this month a time of reflection, action, and growth. ✨

It’s the Little Things That Matter

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Life can be overwhelming. We all face challenges that sometimes feel impossible to overcome. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the passing of a loved one, it’s easy to get lost in the weight of our struggles. But here’s the thing: you’ve made it through 100% of the hard days you thought might break you. And you’re still here.

Sometimes, we forget to give ourselves credit for just surviving. Life has a way of throwing curveballs, but no matter what, you’re still standing, reading this, and doing what you can to keep moving forward. That is something worth being proud of.

It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong, what’s missing, or what hasn’t gone right. But if you can, try to shift your attention to the little things—the moments of joy and comfort that we often overlook. Those small acts of self-care that may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things actually mean so much.

So, take a deep breath. You deserve it. Maybe it’s enjoying a cup of coffee or tea in peace. Maybe it’s stepping outside for a few minutes of fresh air. Perhaps it’s treating yourself to something simple, like ordering your favorite meal or watching a show you love. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to enjoy those moments without guilt.

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. The things you do, no matter how small, matter to you. They are reminders of what you’ve endured and what you are capable of. You are allowed to take breaks. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to find joy in the simple things.

Remember, you can do this. Even on the hardest days, when you feel like you’re just barely holding on, you’re doing better than you think. Don’t forget to be proud of yourself for getting through each moment, each challenge. You are strong, and you deserve to celebrate the small victories.

The journey may not always be easy, but the little things along the way are what can keep you grounded, remind you of your strength, and help you keep moving forward. So take a moment to be proud of yourself, because you’ve earned it. You are here. And that’s enough.

Functional Freeze: How we get unstuck

by Mothersense, posted in This Life


Understanding Functional Freeze: Its Impact on Mental and Physical Well-Being and How to Break Free


We all experience moments of feeling stuck or unable to move forward, especially when faced with overwhelming stress, uncertainty, or even mundane daily pressures. However, sometimes this feeling becomes more than just a brief moment of hesitation—it can manifest as a state known as functional freeze. This state can have profound effects on our mental and physical health, making it harder to take action and feel motivated. In this post, we’ll explore what functional freeze is, how it affects us, and practical steps to help break free from it.
What is Functional Freeze?
Functional freeze is a psychological and physiological response that often occurs when our brains perceive a threat or challenge, but we feel incapable of dealing with it. It’s a state of immobilization, where we feel stuck in place—unable to move forward, make decisions, or take action. Unlike the more familiar fight-or-flight response, freeze often leads to an overall sense of stagnation rather than heightened energy.
This freeze response can be triggered by any number of factors, such as:
Overwhelm from too many tasks or responsibilities
Uncertainty or fear about the future
A traumatic or emotional event that leaves you feeling paralyzed
Anxiety or depression that creates a mental block
How Functional Freeze Affects Us
Mentally: When we experience functional freeze, our minds can become foggy, and decision-making becomes increasingly difficult. We may ruminate on problems without being able to take constructive steps to address them. This mental paralysis can also fuel anxiety and self-doubt, making us question our abilities and decisions.
Physically: On a physical level, functional freeze often results in a lack of energy or motivation. You might feel exhausted even though you haven’t done anything strenuous. This leads to a cycle of inactivity that further exacerbates feelings of helplessness or frustration. Long-term, the freeze response can also affect sleep patterns, appetite, and overall health, making it harder for your body to recover from stress.
Steps to Break Free from Functional Freeze
Acknowledge and Accept
The first step to overcoming functional freeze is acknowledging it without judgment. Recognizing that you’re in a freeze state can reduce the shame or frustration that often accompanies it. It’s important to remind yourself that this is a natural response, not a personal failure.


Start Small
When overwhelmed, the sheer scale of tasks can seem impossible. Begin by breaking things down into smaller, manageable pieces. Focus on completing a small, easy task that you know you can accomplish. The act of doing something, no matter how small, will trigger a sense of accomplishment and help you gain momentum.


Mindful Movement
Physical movement can help “reset” the body and break the freeze cycle. This doesn’t have to mean a strenuous workout—gentle stretching, yoga, or even a short walk can help release tension and get your blood flowing. Movement stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin, which can help shift your mood and energy levels.


Limit Distractions and Create a Routine
Creating structure can reduce feelings of chaos and uncertainty. Try setting a simple daily routine to provide some sense of control. Focus on one task at a time, and eliminate unnecessary distractions (like excessive phone use or social media) that can increase feelings of overwhelm.


Talk to Someone
Sometimes, the best way to snap out of functional freeze is by talking it out. Find a friend, family member, or therapist to express how you’re feeling. Speaking about your thoughts can provide clarity, help you process emotions, and even offer new perspectives on your situation.


Practice Self-Compassion
Don’t be hard on yourself if you’re feeling stuck. Functional freeze doesn’t mean you’re lazy or incapable—it’s simply a natural response to stress. Give yourself grace, and understand that breaking free from this state is a process. Be patient with yourself as you take small steps toward recovery.


Seek Professional Help if Needed
If you find that functional freeze is affecting your day-to-day life for an extended period of time, it may be helpful to talk to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as help you address the root causes of your freeze response.


Final Thoughts
Functional freeze is a challenging state that many of us face at different points in our lives. While it can feel isolating and overwhelming, it’s important to remember that there are ways to break free. By acknowledging the freeze, taking small actions, and practicing self-care, you can regain your sense of control and start moving forward again—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
If you’re currently in a freeze state, take a deep breath, and remember: You are not alone, and you have the power to move past this.

Finding Calm When Feeling Stuck

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

What can you do when you feel helpless? Maybe your job search is dragging out and you feel like it’s never-ending, maybe your kid is sick and you don’t have answers to why, maybe things are rough in a friendship, family, or marriage and you have done every possible thing you know to do….what can you do next? What will be helpful?

It can be hard to feel helpless. To have to be still and wait for answers or just waiting at all can take so much energy. When things feel out of your control, and you’ve already tried everything you can think of, it’s easy to feel stuck, like there’s no next step. But there are ways to move forward, even if they’re small steps.

I do want to say I think it’s key to acknowledge that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to feel like you’ve reached a limit. Feeling helpless is a very human experience, and being kind to yourself during that time is huge. When you’re in a tough spot, here are some things that might help:

  1. Take a Break and Breathe: Sometimes, when we’re so deep in the weeds of a difficult situation, we forget to step back and take a breather. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but giving yourself a moment of mental clarity to recharge. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even taking a walk can reset your nervous system and give you a fresh perspective.
  2. Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing how you’re feeling can be a huge relief. Sometimes just verbalizing the weight of everything you’re carrying can make it feel lighter. You don’t need someone to have all the answers – you just need someone who will listen. And sometimes maybe you just talk to yourself. Yup. I said it, talk to yourself, sometimes saying things out loud helps you to feel better about the in between, the waiting, the PAUSE if you will. 
  3. Let Go of What’s Beyond Your Control: It’s difficult, but part of feeling helpless comes from trying to control everything. If you’ve done everything you can and you’re still not seeing results, sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender a bit. Trust that things will work out in their own time. It’s not giving up – it’s giving yourself permission to stop shouldering the weight of things you can’t fix right now.
  4. Focus on Small Wins: If the big picture feels overwhelming, try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Is there one small action you can take today to improve your situation, even just a little? Maybe that’s applying for one more job, researching new treatment options for your child, or reaching out to a friend to have a real conversation about what’s going on.
  5. Seek New Resources or Perspectives: Sometimes we can feel stuck because we’re too close to a problem, or we’ve exhausted the usual ways of looking at it. Maybe it’s time to seek out a new perspective – whether that’s reading a book on personal growth, talking to a mentor, or exploring new treatment options or support groups for your situation.
  6. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion: Growth or healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and that’s hard to deal with when you’re in the middle of it. Being gentle with yourself during these moments and remembering that things won’t always feel like this can help maintain hope.