Tag: grief

More about me and where I am headed…

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Finding Opportunity Amid Grief and Financial Concerns

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it. Lately, I’ve been navigating a landscape filled with grief and financial uncertainties. It’s a heavy load, and some days it feels overwhelming. But through this challenging period, I’ve started to explore new avenues to not only cope but to thrive.

Embracing Grief and Finding Strength

Grief can be a solitary journey, yet it can also be a catalyst for growth. As I process my feelings of the loss of both people and a career that I worked really hard to get into, I’ve realized the importance of channeling my energy into productive outlets. Writing has become my refuge—a way to express what I’m going through and connect with others who may feel the same.

Financial Concerns: A Wake-Up Call

Alongside my emotional struggles, financial concerns have crept in. Unexpected expenses and a tightening budget have pushed me to rethink my income sources. In this age of digital opportunities, I’ve discovered that there are several ways to generate income that align with my passions and skills.

Diving into Blogging and Copywriting

One avenue I’ve explored is blogging. Sharing my experiences not only helps me process my grief, but it also allows me to connect with a broader audience. Through my blog, I’m able to share insights, stories, and resources that others might find valuable.

I’m also diving into copywriting. The ability to craft compelling narratives and persuasive content can be a lucrative skill, especially as businesses are constantly looking for fresh ways to engage their audiences.

Proofreading: A Detail-Oriented Path

With an eye for detail, proofreading has become another potential income stream. Many writers and businesses seek out proofreaders to polish their work, and I’ve found that this skill can be both rewarding and flexible.

Cooking Up a New Project: A Cookbook

In addition to writing, I’ve always had a passion for cooking. As I’ve spent more time in the kitchen, I’ve been inspired to create a cookbook. Combining personal stories with recipes can be a beautiful way to share my journey and offer something meaningful to others.

Partnering with Primerica

Finally, I’ve recently partnered with Primerica, a company that offers financial services and education. This opportunity not only aligns with my goal of improving my financial literacy but also allows me to help others in their financial journeys. It’s a fulfilling way to turn my financial concerns into proactive solutions.

Connecting with Amazon Affiliate Links

As I embark on these ventures, I’ve also started utilizing Amazon affiliate links on my blog. Whether I’m sharing my favorite kitchen gadgets for the cookbook or recommending books that have helped me through tough times, this can be a great way to earn some extra income while providing value to my readers.

Moving Forward

While grief and financial worries can feel consuming, I’ve found that by leaning into my passions and exploring new income streams, I can create a brighter path forward. Each step—whether it’s blogging, copywriting, or working on my cookbook—feels like a small victory. I’m learning to embrace this journey, and I hope to inspire others to find their own paths through adversity.

If you’re interested in supporting my journey or exploring some of my recommended products, check out the links that I will be posting on my blog. There is also an Etsy shop, TikTok and Instagram pages for content related to mental health and navigating life. Look for Mothersenseshop on social media and of course I will be getting all of the links posted here soon. Together, we can maneuver through these challenges and discover new opportunities for growth. As always, love and light y’all, we can do this!

Navigating life -Steps you can take

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Getting through the tough times – Steps you can take

If you have seen my previous posts, you know a bit of what we have been through and ways that I have tried to help my family cope with various struggles. Although I gave birth to 5 children, I also have had the honor to be a safe adult for several other children in my life-time. Meaning they either lived with me or were always coming to me to help them through difficult times. They are mostly adults now and still have struggles, but because they learned some coping skills, the struggles are not as difficult. This blog is to serve as a help in the conversation about mental health. It is filled with what has worked for us and what we tried. Mental health issues are not really a one size fits all, some meds will work for some and not so well for others. Therapy with a professional can be beneficial for everyone but takes time. What can be beneficial is to not stop trying, to keep looking for what works for you and your family. I will always advocate for being mindful of what you are CONSUMING, that means food, entertainment, information, social media, it will all have an effect on your mental health. Keeping all of this in mind, the following is a post about steps you can take while on your mental health journey. 

Are you someone who needs quiet? DO you crave some quiet alone time in your day to process, prepare or recuperate from your day? Here are some things that help with getting that little slice of quiet.

  1. Get up earlier than the rest of the family- I know it sounds hard but it can be beneficial for you to start your morning mentally preparing yourself for the day. You can have a quiet cup of coffee or listen to a bit of calming music, do your morning stretches, read your Bible, just some quiet “just me” time that is calm
  2. Stay up a bit later than everyone else. Yes, I did this quite a bit. In the evening you can also do some skincare, a soak in the tub, again music to wind down, reading a book or Bible study. I don’t recommend exercise before bedtime because the feel good hormones that are released actually serve to wake you up and you will not be going to sleep soon afterwards. 
  3. If you are a parent that has to pick up the kids, read while waiting in the pick up line. If you have to commute, listen to a podcast or audiobook. This isn’t entirely quiet, but it is a bit of time carved out for you to do something that is just for you. 

Do you feel like you just want to cry sometimes? Yeah, me too. Crying can be a beneficial emotional release, serving as a natural mechanism to process and alleviate stress or sadness. My husband will sometimes intentionally take time to watch something that he knows will make him cry, because he says it is cleansing. I agree it can be cleansing, but I am not set up to do what my husband does. I am that mom that has avoided the final episode of Supernatural because I knew the ending would be sad. I didn’t know the details BUT I just KNEW it would make me cry, all endings like that on tv shows make me cry. It’s over. No more. So yeah, I cried. I cried when I was going through Grey’s. I didn’t need to intentionally look for stuff, sometimes the news made me cry. Crying is normal and healthy. Sometimes it is overwhelming sadness and other times tears accompany great joy! 

When tears do flow, they often help to release pent-up emotions and can even trigger the release of endorphins, which act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers. To make the most of this cathartic experience, it’s useful to follow a few steps:

  1. Allow yourself to cry without judgment; acknowledging and accepting your emotions can lead to a more profound emotional release. 
  1. Find a safe and supportive environment where you can express yourself freely.
  1. After the tears have subsided, engage in self-care activities such as deep breathing, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend, to help you process the experience and regain a sense of balance. Embracing crying as a part of your emotional toolkit can foster resilience and lead to greater overall well-being.

We get to cry, however if you find yourself crying often and easily, then perhaps medical or therapeutic interventions should be pursued. 

The most important thing you can do for yourself or to help anyone who may struggle is to connect. Talk to someone or listen to someone when struggling. Connection to others has been proven to be the most vital aspect of mental health. 

Here’s a list of key contacts and resources for those struggling with mental health issues. It’s important to reach out to professionals or organizations that can provide support and guidance.

 Emergency Contacts:

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-TALK (8255)  

   – Available 24/7 for crisis support.

2. Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741  

   – Provides 24/7 support via text.

3. Emergency Services (U.S.): Dial 911  

   – For immediate assistance in a crisis situation. Ensure they operator is aware it is a mental health emergency

General Support:

1. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)  

   – Provides information, support, and resources for mental health.

2. Mental Health America (MHA): 1-800-969-6642  

   – Offers mental health resources and support.

3. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)  

   – Provides information and referrals for mental health and substance use disorders.

Online Resources:

1. 7 Cups: [7cups.com](https://www.7cups.com)  

   – Offers free, anonymous online counseling and support.

2. BetterHelp: [betterhelp.com](https://www.betterhelp.com)  

   – Provides online therapy with licensed professionals.

3. Headspace: [headspace.com](https://www.headspace.com)  

   – Offers mindfulness and meditation resources.

International Contacts:

1. Samaritans (UK & Ireland): 116 123  

   – Offers support 24/7 for those in emotional distress.

2. Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14  

   – Provides 24/7 crisis support.

3. Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566  

   – Offers support through phone and text.

Remember, it’s essential to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling. These resources are a good starting point for finding the support needed. And remember the best lesson from Finding Nemo comes from Dory: “Just keep swimming” Make it a great day folks, the choice is in your hands.

Navigating Life’s Uncharted Waters

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

A journey through grief

Life has a way of teaching us profound lessons, often through experiences we never anticipated. As a mom who has navigated the tumultuous waters of grief after losing both parents, my beloved Uncle John, former in-laws, and numerous close friends, I’ve come to understand that while the journey is deeply personal, it is also one that connects us to each other in ways we might not always recognize. Today, I want to share my story, not as a means of seeking sympathy, but to offer a beacon of hope and understanding for those who might be walking a similar path. And grief is a very personal journey and no two paths are the same, please know you are not alone.

The Weight of Loss

Losing my parents was like losing the anchors that held my world steady. They were my guiding stars, my sources of unwavering support, and the keepers of family traditions. Their absence created a void that felt insurmountable. I remember the days following their passing as a blur of grief and disbelief, a cacophony of emotions that seemed too vast for words. And still I don’t feel like words can accurately describe the first few months after we lost my Daddy and Mom.

While still grieving my Uncle John and parents who were so much a part of our daily lives; we also experienced the loss of close friends, and my former in-laws. It all seemed too much, like another wave crashing against my already fragile heart. Each person’s departure brought with it its own kind of pain—a different shade of grief, yet part of a larger tapestry of loss. These were people who had walked with me through various chapters of my life, sharing laughter, tears, and countless memories. Their absence was a reminder of the impermanence of life and the unpredictability of our journeys.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability

Grief is often portrayed as a linear process, but in reality, it’s more like a swirling dance with no clear steps. At first, I sought to shield myself from the raw pain, to put on a brave face for my children and keep life as normal as possible. But eventually, I realized that embracing my vulnerability was not a sign of weakness but a source of strength. Allowing myself to grieve openly meant accepting that my feelings were valid and that it was okay to not have all the answers.

Being honest with my children about our losses was one of the hardest yet most liberating things I did. We talked about their grandparents, uncles, and my friends in ways that honored their memories while allowing us to express our sadness. It became a shared experience, one that, while painful, also brought us closer. Through these conversations, I learned that grief does not need to be a solitary journey; it can be something that unites us.

Creating New Traditions

One of the most healing things for me has been creating new traditions that honor those I’ve lost. It started with small gestures—lighting a candle in their memory on significant dates, creating bouquets for their graves, sharing stories about them during family gatherings, and visiting places that held special significance. Over time, these traditions have evolved into a way of keeping their spirit alive, blending their memory into our everyday lives. As I have one daughter planning a wedding, she will be certain to honor her grandparents and perhaps even her honorary aunt Audra in her upcoming wedding ceremony. This is how we move on. We are forever altered by the loss, but we keep the memories in our hearts, so our loved ones are ever present.

As a family, we began to find joy in creating new memories while still cherishing the old ones. We celebrated our milestones with an appreciation for the past and a renewed hope for the future. One daughter’s graduation was especially poignant, her aunt brought a rose for each grandparent who was missing. It was a way of acknowledging that while the pain of loss is profound, it does not have to overshadow the beauty of living. We celebrated and had a party and there were smiles and laughter and it was good. 

Embracing the Journey Forward

Grief is a lifelong companion, but it doesn’t have to define us. It’s a part of my story, but it’s not the whole story. I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean forgetting, but rather finding a new way to live with the love and memories of those who have passed. It means allowing myself to experience joy again and to continue moving forward with a heart that has been forever touched by those who are no longer here.

 I recently watched the episode of NCIS where “Ducky” passed away, and although he was old and it was his time, the loss still hurt. Director Vance shared a piece of wisdom with the team that Dr. Mallard had shared with Vance upon his wife’s death, We each die two deaths, one where our body gives out and the other when our stories stop being shared. Profound words to share with those experiencing loss. Don’t stop sharing the stories. It keeps them alive in our memories and even though their physical presence is gone, they do not have to be. 

In my journey, I’ve found solace in connecting with others who have experienced similar losses. It’s through these shared experiences that we find understanding and support. We each have our own paths, but the connections we forge with others who have walked similar roads can be profoundly comforting.

A Message of Hope

If you are navigating the challenging waters of grief, know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your journey is uniquely yours. Embrace the love and memories of those you’ve lost while allowing yourself the grace to live and find joy again. Grief may change you, but it doesn’t have to diminish your capacity to love and find happiness.

In the end, life’s greatest gift is our ability to love deeply and to be loved in return. Even in the face of loss, the bonds we create and the memories we cherish become a source of strength. As a mom who has felt the weight of grief, I hold onto this truth: that the love we share with those who have left us continues to guide and uplift us through every step of our journey.

In loving memory of so many I have lost over the years, but especially:

Sandi Rene Marbut July 1993

Ila Kilcrease July 1987

John Henry Eaves June 2019

Sharena Kay Lovett May 2020

Rufus Oran Kilcrease October 2020

Emeline Marie Kilcrease November 2020

Deborah Kay Nelson April 2023

Garry Paul Roeber May 2023

Audra Marie Talley March 2024

Marcey Elaine Riley May 2024