Tag: family

February Focus: Emotional Wellness and Financial Health

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Can you believe it’s finally February? The month of new beginnings, fresh energy, and a chance to hit the reset button. After January’s burst of “new year, new me” energy, February feels like the perfect time to dig into the quiet work of getting ourselves on track for the long haul. Let’s talk about what we can focus on in 2025 to set the tone for a healthier, wealthier, and more balanced life.

1. Feeling the Feelings and Being Gentle With Ourselves

First and foremost, February is a time to check in with yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle, but we have to remind ourselves that the journey is just as important as the destination. If the past month has been full of ups and downs—whether it’s the pressure to “get it all together” or just the stress of regular life—it’s okay to take a breath. We don’t have to be perfect.

Take some time this month to check in with how you’re feeling. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or simply sitting in quiet reflection, allowing yourself the space to feel and process emotions is critical. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

2. Financial Health: Get Yourself in a Good Position

Now, let’s talk about money. It’s no secret that financial health is a cornerstone of peace of mind, and February is the perfect time to make sure you’re in a good spot. Whether you’re setting up a budget, reviewing your savings goals, or working on debt repayment, small steps can make a big difference.

Take a look at where your money is going. Are there places where you can cut back without sacrificing too much? Consider setting up an automatic transfer to a savings account, or committing to sticking to a more realistic budget this month.

It’s also a great time to look ahead—think about any big financial goals in the works for 2025 and break them down into manageable steps. Little actions today can set you up for big rewards in the future.

3. Insurance: Reviewing What You’ve Got

When was the last time you took a look at your insurance policies? Whether it’s life, health, or car insurance, it’s important to regularly review what you’re paying for and what coverage you need.

Life Insurance: Maybe you’ve got a policy in place, but is it still enough to cover your loved ones if anything were to happen? Consider whether your current life insurance aligns with your family’s needs, especially if there have been any changes in your life since you last checked.

Health Insurance: With medical costs on the rise, it’s crucial to make sure you have the right coverage. Are you using the benefits to their fullest? And if you’re not feeling completely confident in your plan, now’s a good time to shop around during open enrollment or ask your employer about options.

Car Insurance: Have you kept up with the best rates for your car insurance? Are you overpaying for coverage you don’t need, or missing out on discounts? Take a moment to assess your coverage, especially if you’ve made any changes to your vehicle, and ensure you’re not overpaying.

4. The Will: Reviewing or Getting Started

This is one of those things we all know we should do but often put off. Have you reviewed your will recently? If you don’t have one, February is the perfect time to get the ball rolling. A will isn’t just for the elderly or the super wealthy; it’s for anyone who has people or things they care about. It’s about making sure your wishes are known and protecting your loved ones when the time comes.

Take small steps—get the information you need, talk to a legal professional, or even start drafting it yourself. It’s a big task, but breaking it down into manageable pieces will make it easier. And the peace of mind it brings? Worth every second.

5. Mindful Consumption: What Are You Taking In?

What are you consuming right now—physically, mentally, and emotionally? February is a great month to reevaluate what we’re putting into our bodies and our minds.

Food: What are you fueling yourself with? February might bring a craving for comfort food, but it’s also the perfect time to check in with your nutritional habits. Maybe experiment with some healthier recipes or challenge yourself to make a few small changes to feel better in your body. Small actions today can lead to long-term energy and vitality.

Media Consumption: Take a look at what you’re watching, reading, and scrolling through on a daily basis. Are you absorbing content that lifts you up or drains you? Maybe now’s the time to cut out things that no longer serve you—whether it’s scrolling mindlessly on social media or binge-watching TV shows that leave you feeling uninspired.

Try replacing some of your usual content with books, podcasts, or documentaries that will help you grow, stay motivated, and nurture your mental health. Curating what you consume can make a huge difference in your overall well-being.

6. Small Steps, Big Goals

This is the year for taking small steps toward your BIG goals. Whether it’s getting your finances in order, improving your health, or tackling big life changes, 2025 is the year to make steady progress. Remember, no goal is achieved overnight. But with consistent effort, a little at a time, you’ll find yourself closer than ever to where you want to be.

It’s the small actions—like setting aside 15 minutes each day for mindfulness, reviewing your insurance every year, or tweaking your budget—that compound over time and lead to significant results.

As we move through February and into the rest of the year, let’s focus on being gentle with ourselves, staying proactive with our responsibilities, and making thoughtful decisions. 2025 is about feeling the feelings, making steady financial progress, and building a life we can look back on with pride. So, let’s take those small steps—because each one gets us closer to the big goals.

Happy February! Let’s make this month a time of reflection, action, and growth. ✨

Finding Calm When Feeling Stuck

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

What can you do when you feel helpless? Maybe your job search is dragging out and you feel like it’s never-ending, maybe your kid is sick and you don’t have answers to why, maybe things are rough in a friendship, family, or marriage and you have done every possible thing you know to do….what can you do next? What will be helpful?

It can be hard to feel helpless. To have to be still and wait for answers or just waiting at all can take so much energy. When things feel out of your control, and you’ve already tried everything you can think of, it’s easy to feel stuck, like there’s no next step. But there are ways to move forward, even if they’re small steps.

I do want to say I think it’s key to acknowledge that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to feel like you’ve reached a limit. Feeling helpless is a very human experience, and being kind to yourself during that time is huge. When you’re in a tough spot, here are some things that might help:

  1. Take a Break and Breathe: Sometimes, when we’re so deep in the weeds of a difficult situation, we forget to step back and take a breather. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but giving yourself a moment of mental clarity to recharge. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even taking a walk can reset your nervous system and give you a fresh perspective.
  2. Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing how you’re feeling can be a huge relief. Sometimes just verbalizing the weight of everything you’re carrying can make it feel lighter. You don’t need someone to have all the answers – you just need someone who will listen. And sometimes maybe you just talk to yourself. Yup. I said it, talk to yourself, sometimes saying things out loud helps you to feel better about the in between, the waiting, the PAUSE if you will. 
  3. Let Go of What’s Beyond Your Control: It’s difficult, but part of feeling helpless comes from trying to control everything. If you’ve done everything you can and you’re still not seeing results, sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender a bit. Trust that things will work out in their own time. It’s not giving up – it’s giving yourself permission to stop shouldering the weight of things you can’t fix right now.
  4. Focus on Small Wins: If the big picture feels overwhelming, try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Is there one small action you can take today to improve your situation, even just a little? Maybe that’s applying for one more job, researching new treatment options for your child, or reaching out to a friend to have a real conversation about what’s going on.
  5. Seek New Resources or Perspectives: Sometimes we can feel stuck because we’re too close to a problem, or we’ve exhausted the usual ways of looking at it. Maybe it’s time to seek out a new perspective – whether that’s reading a book on personal growth, talking to a mentor, or exploring new treatment options or support groups for your situation.
  6. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion: Growth or healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and that’s hard to deal with when you’re in the middle of it. Being gentle with yourself during these moments and remembering that things won’t always feel like this can help maintain hope.

Starting the year right

by Mothersense, posted in Messy Life

Start the Year Right: A Financial Check-Up and Planning for the Unexpected

As January is flying by, it’s a great time to hit the refresh button on many aspects of your life—your finances included. While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of New Year’s resolutions and personal goals, one of the most important things you can do at the start of the year is ensure that your financial and legal documents are in order. Doing a financial check-up and reviewing critical documents may not be the most thrilling task, but it can save your family from unnecessary stress and confusion should something happen to you or your spouse.

1. Perform a Financial Check-Up

Start by reviewing your financial situation:

  • Review your budget and spending habits: Are you living within your means? Have your financial goals changed? It’s important to adjust your budget to reflect your current priorities, whether that’s saving for a major purchase, paying off debt, or investing in retirement.
  • Check your credit report: Get a copy of your credit report to ensure there are no errors or signs of identity theft. Correcting mistakes early can save you a lot of headaches down the line.
  • Evaluate your emergency savings: Ideally, you should have 3-6 months of living expenses saved up in case of unexpected emergencies. If this isn’t the case, make it a priority this year to build or replenish your emergency fund.
  • Revisit retirement and investment accounts: Check in on the performance of your retirement accounts and investment portfolios. Make sure your contributions align with your goals and, if necessary, adjust your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.

2. Update Your Will and Trust

Many people put off creating a will or updating it because it can feel morbid or overwhelming. However, it’s a crucial step in ensuring your assets are distributed according to your wishes and that your family members are taken care of. If your circumstances have changed—perhaps you’ve acquired new assets, had a child, or experienced a life event like a marriage or divorce—be sure to revise your will to reflect these changes. You may also want to consider setting up a trust to avoid probate and streamline the transfer of assets.

3. Review Beneficiaries for Insurance and Bank Accounts

It’s not uncommon for people to forget to update their beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement accounts (like 401(k)s or IRAs), and even bank accounts. If you’ve had any life changes—such as a marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child—this should be a top priority. Ensure that the beneficiaries listed reflect your current wishes and that your loved ones will be taken care of in the event of your death.

4. Set Up Power of Attorney

A Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal document that designates someone to make financial decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to do so yourself due to illness, injury, or incapacitation. Having a trusted person in place who can handle financial matters for you is essential to ensure your financial obligations are met during a difficult time. You can also set up a Healthcare Power of Attorney to appoint someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to communicate those decisions yourself.

5. Create Advance Directives

An advance directive (also known as a living will) outlines your preferences for medical care should you be in a position where you cannot express your wishes. This can include instructions for life-sustaining treatment, organ donation, and other aspects of end-of-life care. Many people shy away from thinking about these situations, but having clear, legally recognized instructions can relieve your loved ones of difficult decisions during emotionally charged times. Make sure your advance directives are signed, dated, and stored in a place where your family can easily access them.

6. Organize Your Documents and Make Things Easy for Your Family

Beyond the legal documents and financial accounts, consider organizing important information for your family. Create a document or folder where you record all necessary details about your accounts, passwords, insurance policies, and any other key information that your family members may need in the event of an emergency or your passing. Include things like:

  • Where you keep physical documents
  • Account numbers, login details, and passwords (using a password manager is a secure option)
  • Insurance policies, including life, home, auto, and health
  • Contact information for professionals (lawyers, accountants, financial advisors)

While it might seem like a lot of work upfront, taking the time to get your affairs in order now can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

7. Talk to Your Family About Your Wishes

Beyond the paperwork, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your wishes. This includes discussing things like your preferences for healthcare, your end-of-life care decisions (such as a Do Not Resuscitate or DNR order), and what you want to happen with your possessions. While it may feel uncomfortable, leaving these things unspoken can lead to confusion, stress, and even family conflict when emotions run high.

The Importance of Doing the Work

It may seem daunting to go through this process, but it’s far better to address these matters now than leave your family to guess your intentions. If you were to fall ill or unexpectedly pass away, having these legal and financial arrangements in place would ensure that your family isn’t left scrambling, unsure of your wishes, or dealing with unnecessary administrative headaches. It’s not about being morbid—it’s about being proactive and ensuring that your loved ones have clarity and peace of mind when they need it most.

This year, make it a priority to set aside time for your financial and legal check-up. You’ll feel better knowing that you’ve taken steps to protect your family and their future.

Embracing Struggle

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

How Life’s Challenges Lead to Blessings

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us when we least expect them. There are moments when the weight of our struggles feels unbearable, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we are being punished or that we will never overcome the obstacles in our path. Yet, if we take a step back and look at our lives from a broader perspective, we might realize that struggle isn’t the enemy—it’s a necessary part of growth, transformation, and ultimately, the realization of our blessings.

The truth is, we often stand in the way of our own blessings, not because they aren’t meant for us, but because we struggle to embrace the challenges that are essential for our growth. Struggle, as paradoxical as it may seem, is part of the divine design of life. When we’re experiencing hardship, it’s easy to focus on the pain or the apparent lack of progress. But what if, instead of resisting those difficult times, we leaned into them? What if we learned to trust that, even when things seem bleak, something greater is unfolding behind the scenes?

The Gift in Struggle

Struggle teaches us resilience. It forces us to grow in ways we never would have imagined. When life tests us, we uncover strengths within ourselves we didn’t know existed. It’s in the hard moments—when we feel like we’re at our lowest—that we discover a well of courage, patience, and determination we never thought we had. It’s in the darkest valleys that we develop the perspective to truly appreciate the peaks.

The famous author C.S. Lewis once said, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” How true this is! Often, we look at our struggles as things to avoid or eliminate, but they are often the very things that shape our future. Our challenges bring us closer to the people we are meant to be. Without those tests, without those failures, we wouldn’t have the capacity to appreciate the victories, the light, or the blessings when they arrive.

Faith and the Power of the Unseen

There’s a deep, unspoken truth in life: sometimes, we don’t see the good that is coming to us, not because it isn’t there, but because it isn’t visible yet. Faith is the quiet assurance that something greater than ourselves is at work. It’s the belief in things not seen, the trust that even when we can’t see the way forward, something beautiful is unfolding.

Whether you identify as religious or spiritual, many people have experienced moments where, looking back, they see how the challenges they faced led them to a place of profound growth and understanding. There’s a reason that “faith” is often spoken about in times of uncertainty—because it is in those moments, when we feel lost, that faith reminds us that there’s more to the story than what we see in front of us.

In these moments, it’s important to remember that what may feel like a setback is sometimes a redirection. Life, in its mysterious way, is preparing us for something far better than what we could have imagined. What we interpret as failure could be a setup for success—a process we have to go through to become who we’re truly meant to be.

Gratitude for the Darkness

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. We’re thankful for the good health, the steady job, the happy relationships. But what about when things are not going well? Can we also find gratitude in those times? Can we be thankful for the struggles, the challenges, the darkness?

I believe we can, and we should. The darkness teaches us to appreciate the light. It’s in the moments of deep struggle that we learn to recognize the power of joy, peace, and contentment when they do come. Imagine how easy it would be to take blessings for granted if we didn’t know what it was like to feel without them.

Gratitude for the darker times isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending that everything is fine. It’s about recognizing that through hardship, we grow. We become more compassionate, more understanding, more resilient. We develop a deeper sense of gratitude for the things we used to take for granted. And in this process, we cultivate a strength that can only come from facing the storms of life head-on.

Growing Through What We Go Through

Ultimately, life is about growth. We are meant to evolve, to learn, to adapt. The struggles we face aren’t there to defeat us—they are there to refine us. Every time we face a challenge, we have a choice: we can give in to defeat, or we can use that challenge as an opportunity to grow. When we choose growth, we choose the path that leads us to better versions of ourselves.

Through each struggle, we develop new skills, insights, and emotional intelligence that enable us to navigate future challenges with greater ease. And when we approach life with a mindset of growth, we begin to see opportunities in places we once saw only obstacles.

So, instead of focusing on the difficulty of the moment, let’s shift our perspective. Let’s ask ourselves: What can I learn from this experience? How can I grow from this challenge? How can I use this to become a better version of myself?

The Blessing in the Struggle

Looking back on the challenges we’ve faced, it’s easy to see how they shaped who we are today. Some of our biggest blessings may have been disguised as hardships in the beginning. The job that felt like a dead end may have led to a more fulfilling career later. The relationship that ended may have opened the door for a deeper connection with someone else. The illness or setback may have forced us to slow down and reevaluate our priorities, leading us to a healthier, more balanced life.

In the midst of struggle, we can’t always see how things will unfold, but we can trust that, just as the sun rises after the darkest nights, so too will brighter days follow our challenges. Our struggles don’t define us—they refine us, helping us become who we are meant to be, ready to embrace the blessings that are on their way.

Wrapping it up for you:

Life is a mixture of light and dark, joy and sorrow, success and failure. It’s easy to be thankful when things are going well, but the true test of our character comes when we learn to appreciate the value of struggle, to embrace the unknown with faith, and to cultivate gratitude even in the darkest moments.

Through the struggles, the setbacks, and the pain, we grow. And in that growth, we discover our deepest blessings. So, the next time life feels like it’s challenging you beyond measure, remember this: your growth is happening in those moments. You are being prepared for something far greater than you can imagine, and sometimes, the struggles you face today are the stepping stones to the blessings of tomorrow.

Holiday Grief: It hurts but still you smile…

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Navigating the Holidays with a Heavy Heart: Embracing Tradition Amidst Grief

The holidays are often portrayed as the most joyous time of the year — a season full of laughter, togetherness, and cherished traditions. But for many, this time of year can also carry a sense of quiet sadness, especially when a loved one is no longer part of the celebration. Whether through the death of a family member, a divorce, or another life event that causes a significant absence, the holidays can bring up complex emotions that are difficult to navigate.

The Quiet Grief of Missing Someone

Holidays are naturally a time for family and friends to gather, share meals, and reminisce about the past. It’s a season filled with memories, both old and new. But what happens when that one person who was always at the table, the one who filled the room with laughter or love, is no longer present? The absence of someone significant can turn a joyful occasion into a bittersweet one, where the chair left empty is a constant reminder of their absence.

It’s not just about the physical absence. Sometimes, the absence of someone — whether they’re gone due to death, divorce, or distance — feels like an emotional void. For example, the first holiday season after the loss of a spouse or parent can feel like you’re navigating a minefield of emotions. Their absence may seem to hang over every carol, every holiday tradition, and even every casual conversation. The laughter of children, the familiar holiday routines, and the bustle of the kitchen might feel jarring when the person you loved and shared those moments with is no longer there to partake.

In cases of divorce, the emotional challenges can be compounded by changes in family dynamics. Familiar spaces and family rituals become places of unfamiliarity and loss, as traditions that once brought comfort now carry a sting. Sometimes, families are also separated by distance, leaving a feeling of fractured connection, and the holiday spirit becomes a reminder of all that’s been lost.

Recognizing the Sadness

A crucial step in dealing with grief during the holidays is to acknowledge the sadness. Trying to ignore it or brush it aside can lead to feelings of resentment or frustration. It’s okay to admit that this year looks different — it’s okay to feel sad, to miss someone, or to mourn the changes that life has brought. Emotions are complex, and during a season that is supposed to be full of joy, it’s important to make space for the grief that surfaces.

It’s also important to understand that sadness doesn’t mean you aren’t enjoying the present moment. You can feel sadness and still find joy in the company of those around you. The grief that creeps in during the holidays is not a sign that you are ungrateful or unable to find joy, but rather a reflection of how much the person or situation meant to you.

How to Cope and Still Enjoy the Season

Even when sadness inevitably comes, it’s possible to still find ways to cherish the holidays, honor your grief, and enjoy the present. Here are a few strategies for coping with the bittersweet emotions of the season:

1. Create New Traditions

While keeping old traditions can bring comfort, sometimes they can also highlight the absence. If old traditions feel too painful, consider creating new ones. This doesn’t mean letting go of the old completely — you can still hold onto what matters — but a fresh tradition can provide a way to move forward while still honoring the past. Perhaps you could start a new tradition, like a family volunteering day, a cozy movie marathon, or cooking a dish that you didn’t make before. New memories can help balance out the grief and bring a sense of renewal.

2. Honor the Memory of the Lost Loved One

Rather than trying to suppress memories, find a way to honor them. Share stories about the person you miss. Light a candle in their memory or make a toast in their honor. These small acts allow you to include them in the celebration, not as a source of sadness, but as a reflection of love and the lasting impact they had on your life. You might even want to incorporate their favorite holiday song or dish into your festivities.

3. Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to cry, to feel frustrated, or to have moments of joy mixed with moments of sadness. Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment. If you need to take a break from the festivities or step away for a moment of solitude, that’s perfectly okay. Processing grief in a way that feels authentic to you will help you manage the complex emotions of the season.

4. Reach Out for Support

If you’re struggling with grief, don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or even a counselor. Talking about your feelings, even if it’s just a quick check-in with someone who understands, can help ease the burden. Sometimes simply expressing how you’re feeling can make a huge difference. You don’t have to carry the weight of grief alone. Sharing in the sadness and joy together can help lighten the load.

5. Practice Gratitude in the Present Moment

While it’s natural to miss the past, focusing on the blessings in the present can provide a sense of peace. Take time to reflect on the things you’re grateful for, whether it’s your family, your health, or the little joys of the season — like a warm cup of tea, a festive decoration, or a quiet moment of reflection. Practicing gratitude can help you shift your focus from what is missing to what is still there, which can make the holidays feel more balanced.

6. Give Yourself Permission to Have Fun

You can still enjoy the holidays, even with sadness present. Don’t feel guilty for laughing, smiling, or finding moments of joy. Grief isn’t about living in constant sadness; it’s about learning how to navigate the ebb and flow of emotions. If you can find moments to laugh with your family, enjoy a holiday treat, or participate in activities that bring you joy, allow yourself to fully experience those moments without guilt. Your loved ones, whether living or passed, would want you to enjoy life, too.

Moving Forward with Love

The holidays will never be exactly the same as they once were, and that’s okay. Embrace the changes, find new ways to honor the memories, and don’t let grief overshadow the moments that can still bring joy. The people we miss may not be physically present, but they can still be a part of our celebrations in spirit.

Grief is a part of love, and love doesn’t vanish with time. It transforms. This holiday season, allow yourself to feel all the emotions — sadness, joy, gratitude — and find new ways to celebrate life, even in the face of loss. Your traditions, old and new, can be a beautiful way to keep the memories alive while embracing the present moment.