All Hallow’s Eve…Halloween. Mom’s Birthday

October 31, 2024 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Halloween in America

Halloween, celebrated on October 31st, has roots that trace back to ancient Celtic festivals, particularly the Gaelic festival of Samhain. This festival marked the end of the harvest season and the onset of winter, a time when it was believed that the boundary between the living and the dead was blurred. Celts would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming spirits.

When Irish immigrants brought these traditions to America in the 19th century, Halloween began to take shape as we know it today. The blend of different cultures, along with the influence of the burgeoning American celebration of harvest festivals, transformed Halloween into a community-centered holiday. By the early 20th century, it evolved into a more family-friendly event, characterized by activities like trick-or-treating, costume parties, and spooky decorations.

As the holiday gained popularity, it became an occasion for fun rather than fear. The spooky tales and ghost stories that accompanied Halloween became a way to entertain and engage, ensuring that the eerie spirit of the holiday remained intact.

A Spooky Story: The Phantom of Willow Creek

In the small town of Willow Creek, tales of a ghostly figure wandering the woods after dark have circulated for generations. Legend has it that the spirit belongs to a young woman named Eliza, who mysteriously disappeared on Halloween night over a century ago.

Eliza was known for her beauty and kindness, often helping those in need. On that fateful night, she was seen heading into the woods to gather firewood for the local orphanage. Hours passed, and she never returned. Search parties scoured the forest, but no trace of her was found. Locals believed she had encountered a witch who cursed her to roam the woods for eternity.

Every year on Halloween, the townsfolk would hear whispers in the wind and see a flickering light among the trees. Those brave enough to venture into the woods claimed to have seen Eliza’s ghost, dressed in a flowing white gown, her eyes filled with sorrow. Many who encountered her said they felt a chill, as if the very essence of winter had descended upon them.

To this day, on Halloween night, residents leave candles in their windows, hoping to guide Eliza’s spirit back home, even if just for one night.

A Legend more local to me: Goatman

The story of the Goatman in Cleburne, Texas, is a local legend that has intrigued and terrified residents for years. This urban legend typically describes a creature that is part human and part goat, often depicted with the body of a man and the head of a goat, and is said to roam the woods near Cleburne.

The Legend

According to various accounts, the Goatman is said to have originated from a tragic incident involving a goat farmer. Some versions claim he was a hermit who lived in the woods, known for his affinity with goats. After a series of unfortunate events—like the loss of his livestock or a betrayal by the townspeople—he transformed into the Goatman, seeking vengeance on those who wronged him.

Sightings of the Goatman often describe a hulking figure moving through the shadows, with glowing eyes and a haunting presence. Reports frequently mention eerie sounds, like screams or strange noises, echoing through the night, adding to the legend’s chilling atmosphere.

The Location

Cleburne’s woods and surrounding areas, especially near Lake Pat Cleburne, are often cited as hotspots for sightings. Locals claim that the Goatman is more active during full moons, and tales of encounters have circulated at campfires and local gatherings for generations.

Community Impact

The Goatman legend has had a unique impact on the Cleburne community. It has inspired local lore, ghost tours, and even Halloween events. Residents often share their own experiences or the stories passed down from older generations, ensuring that the tale continues to be a topic of conversation.

While the Goatman may be a figure of local folklore, it serves as a reminder of the rich tapestry of stories that can be found in small towns, blending history, tragedy, and the supernatural.

Oh Those teen boys…

October 21, 2024 by Mothersense, posted in Kids n such

NAVIGATING THE CHALLENGES OF PARENTING A TEEN BOY

Parenting a teenage boy can be a rollercoaster ride filled with highs and lows. As they transition from childhood to adulthood, boys face unique challenges that can impact their mental health. It’s crucial for parents to be aware of these issues and to engage in open conversations about feelings, pressures, and the digital world.

The Challenges of Parenting a Teen Boy

One moment, you might find your son excitedly sharing his dreams for the future, and the next, he could be engulfed in stress from school, friendships, and societal expectations. Teenage boys often struggle with expressing their emotions, which can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation. Unfortunately, he is and isn’t the same sweet boy who wouldn’t leave the room without a hug and an “I love you.” He is that sweet little boy that you have loved and nurtured, but he isn’t because he is changing, his body is foreign to him in some ways. He doesn’t even know sometimes why he does or says things. We can chalk it up to part of growing up and make ourselves aware that parenting teen boys isn’t easy, but keeping a few things in mind we can bring forth kind, loving, and healthy young men.

Mental Health Statistics: A Silent Crisis

While discussions around mental health have become more mainstream, there are still aspects that remain underexplored. For instance, statistics show that suicide is the second leading cause of death among boys aged 15 to 19. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2021, nearly 12% of high school boys reported seriously considering suicide, with around 5% having attempted it.

Furthermore, self-harm is alarmingly prevalent among teenage boys. A 2020 study found that approximately 7% of boys had engaged in self-injurious behavior. These statistics reveal a hidden crisis that isn’t often addressed openly, especially in conversations about teenage mental health.

The Impact of Bullying

Bullying can exacerbate mental health issues among teens. The National Center for Educational Statistics (NCES) reports that about 20% of students aged 12-18 experienced bullying. Boys are often targeted for their interests, appearance, or perceived weaknesses, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and despair. Sometimes it is even within their own friend group and the boys themselves don’t even realize the harm they are causing. I don’t think any teen boy wants to see his friend in despair.

Breaking the Silence

Despite the alarming statistics, many parents feel unprepared to discuss mental health, bullying, or the pressures their sons face. The stigma surrounding mental health often keeps families from seeking help or initiating conversations. It’s essential to break this silence, normalize discussions about emotions, and encourage boys to express their feelings without judgment. That last part is hard because many of us have been around or seen the whole alpha/beta male nonsense and hear “boys will be boys” crap that essentially excuses the crappy behavior, we cannot let that continue. Real men do cry, real men do wear pink, and real men do many things that may have once been looked at as “woman’s work.”

The Role of the Internet

In today’s digital age, the internet plays a significant role in the lives of teenagers. While it can be a source of information and connection, it also poses risks. Cyberbullying, exposure to inappropriate content, and the pressure to maintain a perfect online persona can take a toll on a teen’s mental health. Even if you cannot keep up with the ever changing digital landscape that your child is involved in, do not keep your head in the sand. Research the apps your teen is using and familiarize yourself with it enough that you can be prepared should you need to intervene.

Preparing Your Teen for the Digital World

As parents, preparing our children for the digital landscape is crucial. Here are some strategies to consider:

Open Dialogue: Foster an environment where your teen feels comfortable discussing their online experiences. Ask about their favorite apps, what they enjoy, and any negative experiences they might encounter. Snapchat has had a n uptick in scammers convincing kids to send photos and then trying to blackmail them for money. Discord has its dark places as does Twitch. Be mindful of what your family is consuming.
Educate About Cyberbullying: Discuss the realities of cyberbullying and the importance of kindness online. Encourage them to speak to you or another trusted adult if they witness or experience bullying.
Set Boundaries: Establish rules for internet use that promote balance, such as time limits and appropriate content guidelines. Make sure your teen knows that just like there are terrible places in the world that they might want to avoid, there are places on the internet that should be avoided.
Model Healthy Behavior: Demonstrate positive online behavior by managing your own digital presence and discussing your experiences.
Teach Critical Thinking: Help your teen develop critical thinking skills regarding online content. Encourage them to question the accuracy of information and the motives behind social media posts.
Mental Health Resources: Provide information about mental health resources and support systems. Make it clear that seeking help is a strength, not a weakness.

Wrapping things up for you:

Parenting a teen boy is both rewarding and challenging. By acknowledging the complexities of their mental health and the impact of the digital world, we can foster a supportive environment. Open communication and education are key in helping our boys navigate these tumultuous years. Let’s break the silence around mental health, combat bullying, and prepare our children for a healthier relationship with themselves and the digital world. In doing so, we create a foundation of trust and resilience that can guide them through adolescence and beyond.

G is for GRIEF

October 14, 2024 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Navigating the Personal Journey of Loss

Grief is a profound, often overwhelming experience that touches all of our lives at some point. It’s a deeply personal journey that can emerge from various types of loss—whether the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of a dream or opportunity. Understanding grief as a lifelong process rather than a linear event can help us navigate its complexities with compassion for ourselves and others.

The Nature of Grief

Grief is not just an emotion; it encompasses a range of feelings, thoughts, and reactions. It can manifest as sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, and even relief. Each person experiences grief differently, influenced by their personality, life experiences, and the nature of the loss.

A Personal Journey

One of the most critical aspects of grief is its deeply personal nature. While there are common stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—each individual traverses these stages in their own way and at their own pace. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve; there’s only your way.

Cultural Influences: Cultural backgrounds can shape how we express grief. Some cultures openly mourn, while others may emphasize stoicism. Understanding these differences is vital in supporting those around us.
Support Systems: The presence or absence of a supportive network can significantly impact the grieving process. Friends, family, and even professionals can provide comfort, yet the way we choose to engage with that support is uniquely ours.

Grief as a Lifelong Process

Many people may expect grief to resolve after a certain period, but it often lingers, evolving over time. This understanding can be liberating; it acknowledges that grief doesn’t have a strict timeline and allows for ongoing healing.

Anniversaries and Milestones: Significant dates, like birthdays or anniversaries, can reignite feelings of grief. This resurgence is a natural part of the process and can remind us of the love we still hold for those we’ve lost.
Finding New Meanings: As time passes, the way we relate to our grief may change. We may find ways to honor our loved ones, celebrate their lives, and integrate their memory into our own.

The Greater the Grief, the Greater the Love

One of the most profound truths about grief is that it reflects the depth of our love. The pain we feel is a testament to the bonds we shared. This connection is what makes the journey of grief so significant and transformative.

Embracing Love: Rather than shying away from grief, embracing it can be a way to honor our relationships. Acknowledge the love that underlies the sorrow; it’s this love that shapes our memories and influences who we are.
Creating Legacy: Finding ways to celebrate the life of the person we’ve lost can help channel our grief into something meaningful. This could be through storytelling, creating art, or participating in activities they loved.

Coping with Grief

As we navigate the personal journey of grief, it’s essential to equip ourselves with tools for coping. Here are some strategies that may help:

Allow Yourself to Feel: Give yourself permission to experience all emotions that arise without judgment. Grief is not something to “get over” but something to honor.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Whether through friends, family, or support groups, connecting with others who understand can be immensely comforting.
Express Yourself: Writing, art, and other forms of expression can provide an outlet for your feelings. Journaling about your experience can help you process your emotions.
Practice Self-Care: Grieving can be exhausting. Prioritize self-care through rest, nutrition, and activities that bring you joy or solace.
Consider Professional Help: If grief feels overwhelming, seeking the guidance of a therapist can provide valuable support and coping strategies.

That’s not all folks:

Grief is a complex and deeply personal journey that requires patience and compassion. It is a lifelong process, interwoven with love and memory. Acknowledging that the greater the grief, the greater the love can help us embrace our experiences, honor those we’ve lost, and ultimately find a way to carry their legacy forward in our lives. Remember, you are not alone in this journey; your path is uniquely yours, and it’s okay to take the time you need to heal.

The personal part:

Keeping all of the above in mind, I have become very familiar with grief. It is a personal companion and has been with me since I was 11 years old. My only living grandparent died, my Granny, she was just the best towards me. And she impacted my life in so many ways, from “not sweeping through the middle” to “I love you a bushel and a peck,” helping me count to 100, taking rides through the countryside and everything in between. This is not to discount the losses that followed. It just compounds the grief; I still miss them and all of my other loved ones who are no longer here with me. The grief can be heavy some days. In the beginning, the initial shock, it is kind of easy. Easy, in that no one expects much from you in the beginning. You have the sympathy of everyone around you for your loss, but then it fades. You have to continue to go to work, do laundry, grocery shop, and with each of these tasks you are still very aware that the world you knew has changed forever. But the world keeps spinning even while you are in the throes of grief, life goes on, work still has to be done, bills paid. The routine soothes you a little bit, trying to keep things “normal” while you process what it is that has this grip on you.

The holidays are always the hardest after a loss. Whether it be a birthday, anniversary or the holiday season following Halloween, they can all be hard. You can honor your loved ones and keep the same traditions, it may feel hollow at first, but there will be new meaning in them. This year I am not only facing the holidays without my parents but without 2 members of my village that always helped to pull me back from the brink when things got rough. I didn’t expect to have to traverse life and grief in losing friends that had become family. Losing the sister from another mister, my daily check in text or call, Audra could make me absolutely crazy with some of her theories but at our hearts we both enjoyed food and flavors and cultures and we raised our babies together. We made last minute poodle skirts together. She helped me expand my horizons. We valued critical thinking and doing what’s best for ourselves even if others didn’t understand. She helped me to embrace who I am. Now our youngest babies are freshmen in high school and she isn’t here to navigate this part. Some days are better than others and I think of her adult children each day. I think of her husband, left behind with a teen boy to raise without his mom. I digress. These things are all part of my daily existence.

But in learning to let go, it is especially poignant in the fall. In the fall, trees lose their leaves, as they continue to grow. They become a shell of themselves, but we know that in the spring they sprout new leaves. I am taking a lesson from the trees this year. I am going to let go of things, it is hard work, but it is important work. I am going to let go of the past. I am going to cherish memories of loved ones and prepare myself to move forward in this new existence. I will remember each of them in different ways and on different days, but in letting go of how I thought life would be, I am freeing myself of the immense weight that grief can bear down on me. I will keep old traditions that still serve me and maybe create new ones to celebrate this new chapter of life. I didn’t plan for this journey of grief; I don’t think you can. What you can do is appreciate the time that you have and make the minutes count.

Love and light y’all, it can get dark out there.

Advocacy for children

October 4, 2024 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Debate amateur turned Warrior Mom

I wasn’t a fighter, at least not really. In high school, I could argue my point well, and sometimes I was wrong, but I didn’t seek confrontation. I wanted to fit in and be accepted; I loved people. However, becoming a mother shifted my perspective dramatically. Watching my children struggle in school opened my eyes and transformed me into a warrior for their needs. I will leave out some of the finer details in dealing with various school districts, but the first ARD meeting I had the experience of sitting in on was the catalyst for changing how I fought for my children and becoming active in making sure they were able to succeed despite their struggles.

Initially, my journey began with my oldest son and daughter, who faced challenges with speech. As I navigated the complexities of early childhood education, I quickly realized that these struggles weren’t merely developmental; they were indicators of larger issues at play. It wasn’t until my second child was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and dyslexia that I truly understood the importance of advocacy. According to the CDC, around 6.1 million children in the U.S. have been diagnosed with ADHD, while estimates suggest that about 1 in 5 students has some form of learning disability, including dyslexia. These numbers are a stark reminder of how common these challenges are, yet navigating the school system to get the necessary support can often feel like an uphill battle.

As I continued to educate myself, my third child was diagnosed with a range of issues that underscored the importance of understanding and advocacy. I learned that Autism Spectrum Disorder affects approximately 1 in 36 children in the U.S., a statistic that has prompted schools to reevaluate their support structures. With every diagnosis, I became more determined to fight for my children’s right to an equitable education.

The climate of our schools, while designed to support all students, can inadvertently create environments rife with anxiety, particularly for children with unique needs. My fourth and fifth children seemed to fare better academically, yet I couldn’t ignore the subtle signs of stress they exhibited. The pressures of fitting into a rigid system can manifest in ways that aren’t immediately obvious, making advocacy all the more crucial.

To effectively advocate for my children within the Texas school system, I learned to ask the right questions and make informed requests. The first step in securing the appropriate support is to pursue a comprehensive evaluation. Parents should request a meeting with the school’s special education team to discuss concerns and request a Full Individual Evaluation (FIE). In Texas, this evaluation should include assessments of cognitive abilities, academic achievement, and social-emotional functioning.

When advocating for supports, it’s vital to be specific. For my children, I sought accommodations like extended time on tests, individualized reading programs, and access to assistive technology. Schools in Texas are required to provide a free and appropriate public education (FAPE) to all students, and this includes tailored supports for those with disabilities. I learned to request services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, both of which outline the rights of students with disabilities and their need for accommodations.

In meetings, I found it helpful to present documented evidence of my children’s struggles, including report cards, assessments, and even journal entries that captured their emotional experiences. Armed with this information, I could make a compelling case for the interventions they needed.

Advocating for children with ADHD, dyslexia, and autism means not only ensuring they receive necessary accommodations but also fostering a supportive environment that recognizes their strengths. It’s about collaborating with educators, understanding the resources available, and staying informed about changes in educational policy. By becoming a proactive and informed advocate, I transformed my initial desire to fit in into a powerful mission to ensure my children—and others like them—received the education and support they deserved.

The fight for our children’s rights in the school system may not come naturally to many parents, but it is a battle worth fighting. Through collaboration, persistence, and a deep understanding of their needs, we can pave the way for our children to thrive academically and emotionally, regardless of their challenges. In the end, it’s about creating an inclusive environment where every child feels valued and capable of success.

More about me and where I am headed…

October 3, 2024 by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Finding Opportunity Amid Grief and Financial Concerns

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it. Lately, I’ve been navigating a landscape filled with grief and financial uncertainties. It’s a heavy load, and some days it feels overwhelming. But through this challenging period, I’ve started to explore new avenues to not only cope but to thrive.

Embracing Grief and Finding Strength

Grief can be a solitary journey, yet it can also be a catalyst for growth. As I process my feelings of the loss of both people and a career that I worked really hard to get into, I’ve realized the importance of channeling my energy into productive outlets. Writing has become my refuge—a way to express what I’m going through and connect with others who may feel the same.

Financial Concerns: A Wake-Up Call

Alongside my emotional struggles, financial concerns have crept in. Unexpected expenses and a tightening budget have pushed me to rethink my income sources. In this age of digital opportunities, I’ve discovered that there are several ways to generate income that align with my passions and skills.

Diving into Blogging and Copywriting

One avenue I’ve explored is blogging. Sharing my experiences not only helps me process my grief, but it also allows me to connect with a broader audience. Through my blog, I’m able to share insights, stories, and resources that others might find valuable.

I’m also diving into copywriting. The ability to craft compelling narratives and persuasive content can be a lucrative skill, especially as businesses are constantly looking for fresh ways to engage their audiences.

Proofreading: A Detail-Oriented Path

With an eye for detail, proofreading has become another potential income stream. Many writers and businesses seek out proofreaders to polish their work, and I’ve found that this skill can be both rewarding and flexible.

Cooking Up a New Project: A Cookbook

In addition to writing, I’ve always had a passion for cooking. As I’ve spent more time in the kitchen, I’ve been inspired to create a cookbook. Combining personal stories with recipes can be a beautiful way to share my journey and offer something meaningful to others.

Partnering with Primerica

Finally, I’ve recently partnered with Primerica, a company that offers financial services and education. This opportunity not only aligns with my goal of improving my financial literacy but also allows me to help others in their financial journeys. It’s a fulfilling way to turn my financial concerns into proactive solutions.

Connecting with Amazon Affiliate Links

As I embark on these ventures, I’ve also started utilizing Amazon affiliate links on my blog. Whether I’m sharing my favorite kitchen gadgets for the cookbook or recommending books that have helped me through tough times, this can be a great way to earn some extra income while providing value to my readers.

Moving Forward

While grief and financial worries can feel consuming, I’ve found that by leaning into my passions and exploring new income streams, I can create a brighter path forward. Each step—whether it’s blogging, copywriting, or working on my cookbook—feels like a small victory. I’m learning to embrace this journey, and I hope to inspire others to find their own paths through adversity.

If you’re interested in supporting my journey or exploring some of my recommended products, check out the links that I will be posting on my blog. There is also an Etsy shop, TikTok and Instagram pages for content related to mental health and navigating life. Look for Mothersenseshop on social media and of course I will be getting all of the links posted here soon. Together, we can maneuver through these challenges and discover new opportunities for growth. As always, love and light y’all, we can do this!

Tag: kids