Tag: kids

Life Transitions: Finding Peace Amidst Chaos

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

MIA, But Not Gone

I know I’ve been MIA.

Sometimes, life demands that we step back—not just from work or social media—but from everything. I had to hit pause. I had to give myself permission to simply be.

Over the past few months, I’ve been dealing with some health issues that forced me to reassess my routines and my life in a real, deep way. It wasn’t as easy as just adding a new pill to my morning or nighttime regimen and calling it a day. These were foundational shifts. Things had to change—mentally, physically, emotionally.

I had to move more. I had to get better at managing my stress. And I don’t mean just more yoga, more meditation, or another breathing exercise. I mean truly facing some things I’ve carried for a long time. Things that made me feel angry, sad, and raw. Grief came back around—like it always does—and knocked the wind out of me when I least expected it.

So I’ve been sitting with my feelings. Letting them breathe. Giving them space instead of stuffing them down like I’ve done so many times before. I’ve had to re-center. To literally touch grass. I know it sounds cliché, but there was something healing about standing barefoot in the yard, letting the sun warm my skin and the earth hold me up.

All this while life keeps moving forward at full speed.

My youngest son is heading into his sophomore year of high school—talking about getting a job, becoming more independent, stepping into the world in new ways. And my oldest daughter… she’s getting married. Married. There’s so much to be proud of, so much to be pleased about—but also this deep ache. Because they’re not babies anymore.

They will always be my babies. But we’re not in that chapter anymore. And letting go of those earlier seasons, even while embracing the beauty of what’s now, has been its own kind of mourning.

It’s a strange, tender time. A phase of life where things are shifting—again. We’re growing. We’re changing. And while I know, deep down, that this next chapter is going to be beautiful—it’s also really messy. It’s hard. It’s uncertain. And sometimes it’s just plain exhausting.

But here’s what I do know: I’ve survived 100% of the days I thought would break me. And I’m still here. We’re still here. Finding our footing. Creating new routines. Learning how to breathe deeply again.

So if you’re in the thick of it too—whatever your “it” looks like—just know that you’re not alone. Healing isn’t linear. Growth isn’t neat. And the hard days don’t last forever.

We’re adjusting. And it’s going to be okay. Maybe even more than okay.

We’re making something beautiful.

Mess and all.

Simple Steps to Cope When Life Becomes a Disaster

by Mothersense, posted in Messy Life, Uncategorized

When Your Life Is a Shitstorm: How to Pull Yourself Back from the Edge

You’re doomscrolling again. Your thumb moves, the screen refreshes, and more bad news floods in. It’s easier than thinking about your own life because, let’s face it, your life is a mess right now. Maybe it’s a slow, painful unraveling, or maybe everything collapsed at once. Either way, you’re here, trying to escape into the abyss of the internet, trying to feel something or nothing or anything other than what you are feeling right now.

First things first: Stop.

Not everything. Not forever. Just pause for a moment. Put the phone down, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You don’t have to fix everything right now. You don’t even have to do anything right now. But you do have to breathe. Not the automatic, shallow breathing that keeps you technically alive, but the kind where you take control of your own body again.

Breathe Like You Mean It

Breathe in deeply, slowly, deliberately. Feel the air fill your lungs. Hold it for a moment, then let it out. Do it again. And again. Because when everything feels out of control, this is the one thing you can control. You can’t change the past, you can’t predict the future, and you can’t force other people to act the way you want them to. But you can breathe, right now, in this moment.

Eat Something. No, Really.

Have you eaten today? No, coffee doesn’t count. Neither does the handful of crackers you barely noticed shoving into your mouth. Eat something real. It doesn’t have to be healthy. It just has to be food. A sandwich, a bowl of cereal, some fruit, even a damn granola bar—just something with actual calories and nutrients. When life is a wreck, basic self-care falls by the wayside, and eating is one of the first things to go. But you need fuel. You wouldn’t expect a car to run on an empty tank, so why are you expecting your body and mind to function when you haven’t given them anything to work with?

Drink Some Water. Yes, Right Now.

Dehydration sneaks up on you. It makes you foggy, sluggish, and more irritable. It messes with your mood and your ability to think clearly. And when you’re in crisis mode, drinking enough water is often the last thing on your mind. Grab a glass, a bottle, anything. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be lemon-infused or electrolyte-enhanced. Just drink.

Be Still.

This one is hard. We live in a world that screams at us to always be doing something, fixing something, achieving something. But when everything is a disaster, sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing. Be still. Let your body settle, let your mind settle. Give yourself permission to not have the answers, to not have a plan, to not know what comes next. Sometimes, the storm has to pass before you can even see the ground beneath your feet again.

Being still doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re letting your nervous system catch up, allowing your emotions to level out so that when you do move forward, you’re doing so with a clearer head and steadier hands.

You Are Still Here.

Life is not always fair. It is not always kind. Sometimes, it throws things at you that you never asked for and don’t deserve. But you are still here. And as long as you are here, you have choices. Maybe not the ones you wish you had, maybe not the ones that make everything magically better, but some choices.

Start with the small ones. The ones that remind you that you are, in fact, still in control of something. Breathe. Eat. Drink. Be still. And when you’re ready, take the next step. One moment, one breath, one tiny act of care at a time.

You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. You can survive this one too.

My Gardening Plan: Growing for Health and Family

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Gardening is more than just a pastime for me; it’s a therapeutic practice that benefits both my mind and body. I live in Zone 8b, and although I’ve only had one truly successful garden, that one year was fantastic for my whole family. The fresh food, time spent outdoors, and sense of accomplishment made a lasting impact, and I’m excited to plan another great growing season.

Why Gardening Matters to Me

  1. Stress Reduction – Digging in the soil, planting seeds, and tending to plants help me unwind after a long day.
  2. Mindfulness and Relaxation – Gardening allows me to slow down and connect with nature, making me more present in the moment.
  3. Exercise and Outdoor Time – Spending time outside moving around in the garden is a great way to stay active and soak up some vitamin D.
  4. Family Connection – My family loved having fresh produce at home, and it became something we all enjoyed together.

My Plan for This Year’s Garden

Finding My Growing Zone

Since I’m in Zone 8b, I have a long growing season with mild winters, which means I can grow a wide variety of crops. If you’re unsure of your zone, check it here: USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map.

1. Starting Seeds Indoors

Since my successful year taught me that starting early is key, I’ll begin seeds indoors 6-8 weeks before the last frost date. Here’s what I plan to start early:

  • Tomatoes
  • Peppers
  • Broccoli
  • Cabbage
  • Herbs (basil, thyme, parsley)

I’ll use seed trays with high-quality seed-starting mix and keep them near a sunny window or under grow lights.

2. Preparing the Soil

Last time, I realized healthy soil made a big difference. This year, I’m preparing by:

  • Adding compost for nutrients
  • Testing soil pH and adjusting if necessary
  • Mulching to retain moisture and suppress weeds

For container gardening, I’ll use high-quality potting soil mixed with compost.

3. Choosing Onion and Potato Starts

Since my family loved fresh onions and potatoes, I’m making them a priority this year. In Zone 8b, late winter to early spring is the best time for planting:

  • Onions – I’ll buy onion sets or transplants and plant them in well-drained soil.
  • Potatoes – I’ll purchase seed potatoes and plant them in trenches, gradually covering them with soil as they grow.

4. Companion Planting & Crop Grouping

I want to maximize my garden space and reduce pests naturally, so I’m pairing plants strategically:

  • Tomatoes, Basil, Marigolds – Basil enhances tomato flavor, and marigolds deter pests.
  • Carrots & Onions – Onions help keep carrot flies away.
  • Beans & Corn – Beans fix nitrogen in the soil, which benefits corn.
  • Lettuce & Radishes – Radishes help loosen the soil for lettuce.

My Approach to Small-Space Gardening

Even though I have space for a garden, I also love growing in containers for easy access to fresh produce. This year, I’m growing:

  • Cherry Tomatoes – In 5-gallon buckets or large pots.
  • Lettuce & Spinach – In shallow containers for quick harvests.
  • Strawberries – In hanging baskets for fresh picking.
  • Herbs – Basil, mint, and rosemary in small pots near the kitchen.
  • Peppers – Compact and productive in containers.

Vertical Gardening

To make the most of my space, I’m using vertical planters, trellises, and hanging baskets. Climbing plants like cucumbers, beans, and peas will thrive in this setup.

Expanding to a Larger Garden

Last time, my garden was relatively small, but this year, I’m expanding. Here’s how I’ll set up my new space:

  • Crop rotation to maintain soil health
  • Irrigation systems for efficient watering
  • Square-foot gardening to optimize space and production

Visual Guides for Planning

I rely on visual references to keep my plan on track:

  • A seasonal planting guide for Zone 8b
  • Companion planting chart
  • Container gardening layouts
  • Raised bed designs

Final Thoughts

My first successful garden was a game-changer for my family. Now, I’m excited to refine my plan and build on what worked. Whether you’re just starting or looking to improve your garden, I encourage you to take small steps and enjoy the process.

What’s Next?

  • Check local frost dates and plan accordingly.
  • Gather seeds, soil, and containers.
  • Start small and expand as confidence grows.

Here’s to another great growing season—happy gardening from Zone 8b!

Finding Calm When Feeling Stuck

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

What can you do when you feel helpless? Maybe your job search is dragging out and you feel like it’s never-ending, maybe your kid is sick and you don’t have answers to why, maybe things are rough in a friendship, family, or marriage and you have done every possible thing you know to do….what can you do next? What will be helpful?

It can be hard to feel helpless. To have to be still and wait for answers or just waiting at all can take so much energy. When things feel out of your control, and you’ve already tried everything you can think of, it’s easy to feel stuck, like there’s no next step. But there are ways to move forward, even if they’re small steps.

I do want to say I think it’s key to acknowledge that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to feel like you’ve reached a limit. Feeling helpless is a very human experience, and being kind to yourself during that time is huge. When you’re in a tough spot, here are some things that might help:

  1. Take a Break and Breathe: Sometimes, when we’re so deep in the weeds of a difficult situation, we forget to step back and take a breather. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but giving yourself a moment of mental clarity to recharge. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even taking a walk can reset your nervous system and give you a fresh perspective.
  2. Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing how you’re feeling can be a huge relief. Sometimes just verbalizing the weight of everything you’re carrying can make it feel lighter. You don’t need someone to have all the answers – you just need someone who will listen. And sometimes maybe you just talk to yourself. Yup. I said it, talk to yourself, sometimes saying things out loud helps you to feel better about the in between, the waiting, the PAUSE if you will. 
  3. Let Go of What’s Beyond Your Control: It’s difficult, but part of feeling helpless comes from trying to control everything. If you’ve done everything you can and you’re still not seeing results, sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender a bit. Trust that things will work out in their own time. It’s not giving up – it’s giving yourself permission to stop shouldering the weight of things you can’t fix right now.
  4. Focus on Small Wins: If the big picture feels overwhelming, try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Is there one small action you can take today to improve your situation, even just a little? Maybe that’s applying for one more job, researching new treatment options for your child, or reaching out to a friend to have a real conversation about what’s going on.
  5. Seek New Resources or Perspectives: Sometimes we can feel stuck because we’re too close to a problem, or we’ve exhausted the usual ways of looking at it. Maybe it’s time to seek out a new perspective – whether that’s reading a book on personal growth, talking to a mentor, or exploring new treatment options or support groups for your situation.
  6. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion: Growth or healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and that’s hard to deal with when you’re in the middle of it. Being gentle with yourself during these moments and remembering that things won’t always feel like this can help maintain hope.

Starting the year right

by Mothersense, posted in Messy Life

Start the Year Right: A Financial Check-Up and Planning for the Unexpected

As January is flying by, it’s a great time to hit the refresh button on many aspects of your life—your finances included. While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of New Year’s resolutions and personal goals, one of the most important things you can do at the start of the year is ensure that your financial and legal documents are in order. Doing a financial check-up and reviewing critical documents may not be the most thrilling task, but it can save your family from unnecessary stress and confusion should something happen to you or your spouse.

1. Perform a Financial Check-Up

Start by reviewing your financial situation:

  • Review your budget and spending habits: Are you living within your means? Have your financial goals changed? It’s important to adjust your budget to reflect your current priorities, whether that’s saving for a major purchase, paying off debt, or investing in retirement.
  • Check your credit report: Get a copy of your credit report to ensure there are no errors or signs of identity theft. Correcting mistakes early can save you a lot of headaches down the line.
  • Evaluate your emergency savings: Ideally, you should have 3-6 months of living expenses saved up in case of unexpected emergencies. If this isn’t the case, make it a priority this year to build or replenish your emergency fund.
  • Revisit retirement and investment accounts: Check in on the performance of your retirement accounts and investment portfolios. Make sure your contributions align with your goals and, if necessary, adjust your asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.

2. Update Your Will and Trust

Many people put off creating a will or updating it because it can feel morbid or overwhelming. However, it’s a crucial step in ensuring your assets are distributed according to your wishes and that your family members are taken care of. If your circumstances have changed—perhaps you’ve acquired new assets, had a child, or experienced a life event like a marriage or divorce—be sure to revise your will to reflect these changes. You may also want to consider setting up a trust to avoid probate and streamline the transfer of assets.

3. Review Beneficiaries for Insurance and Bank Accounts

It’s not uncommon for people to forget to update their beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement accounts (like 401(k)s or IRAs), and even bank accounts. If you’ve had any life changes—such as a marriage, divorce, or the birth of a child—this should be a top priority. Ensure that the beneficiaries listed reflect your current wishes and that your loved ones will be taken care of in the event of your death.

4. Set Up Power of Attorney

A Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal document that designates someone to make financial decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to do so yourself due to illness, injury, or incapacitation. Having a trusted person in place who can handle financial matters for you is essential to ensure your financial obligations are met during a difficult time. You can also set up a Healthcare Power of Attorney to appoint someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to communicate those decisions yourself.

5. Create Advance Directives

An advance directive (also known as a living will) outlines your preferences for medical care should you be in a position where you cannot express your wishes. This can include instructions for life-sustaining treatment, organ donation, and other aspects of end-of-life care. Many people shy away from thinking about these situations, but having clear, legally recognized instructions can relieve your loved ones of difficult decisions during emotionally charged times. Make sure your advance directives are signed, dated, and stored in a place where your family can easily access them.

6. Organize Your Documents and Make Things Easy for Your Family

Beyond the legal documents and financial accounts, consider organizing important information for your family. Create a document or folder where you record all necessary details about your accounts, passwords, insurance policies, and any other key information that your family members may need in the event of an emergency or your passing. Include things like:

  • Where you keep physical documents
  • Account numbers, login details, and passwords (using a password manager is a secure option)
  • Insurance policies, including life, home, auto, and health
  • Contact information for professionals (lawyers, accountants, financial advisors)

While it might seem like a lot of work upfront, taking the time to get your affairs in order now can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.

7. Talk to Your Family About Your Wishes

Beyond the paperwork, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your family about your wishes. This includes discussing things like your preferences for healthcare, your end-of-life care decisions (such as a Do Not Resuscitate or DNR order), and what you want to happen with your possessions. While it may feel uncomfortable, leaving these things unspoken can lead to confusion, stress, and even family conflict when emotions run high.

The Importance of Doing the Work

It may seem daunting to go through this process, but it’s far better to address these matters now than leave your family to guess your intentions. If you were to fall ill or unexpectedly pass away, having these legal and financial arrangements in place would ensure that your family isn’t left scrambling, unsure of your wishes, or dealing with unnecessary administrative headaches. It’s not about being morbid—it’s about being proactive and ensuring that your loved ones have clarity and peace of mind when they need it most.

This year, make it a priority to set aside time for your financial and legal check-up. You’ll feel better knowing that you’ve taken steps to protect your family and their future.