Tag: health

Finding Balance: Overcoming the Need to Constantly Achieve

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

The Illusion of “Not Enough”:

Have you ever collapsed at the end of the day, feeling exhausted but still haunted by the thought that you didn’t do enough? Maybe you checked off multiple tasks, met deadlines, and even tackled a few extra chores, yet there’s a nagging voice whispering, You could have done more.

This feeling is so common, yet it’s rarely questioned. Why do we feel this way? Why does our brain insist on measuring our worth by how much we accomplish?

The Name for That Nagging Feeling

What you’re experiencing has a name: productivity guilt. It’s the psychological burden of feeling like you haven’t done enough, even when you’ve been productive. It often stems from a mix of societal pressure, personal expectations, and the ever-present hustle culture that tells us we should always be striving for more.

A close cousin of this feeling is imposter syndrome, where no matter how much you achieve, it never seems sufficient. Both can create a cycle of self-doubt, stress, and burnout—an exhausting loop where you’re never truly satisfied with your efforts.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

Our modern world thrives on output, measuring success in terms of productivity. We’re conditioned to believe that our value is tied to what we do, rather than who we are. Social media doesn’t help—scrolling through endless posts of people seemingly achieving more can fuel the belief that we’re falling behind.

But here’s the truth: you are not a machine. You are not meant to operate at peak efficiency all the time. Rest, slowness, and even unproductive days are part of being human.

Some Days Will Be This Way—And That’s Okay

Not every day will be a high-output day. Some days, your energy will be lower. Some days, your body or mind will demand rest. And some days, despite your best efforts, things just won’t go as planned.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re living.

Be gentle with yourself. Progress isn’t about constant motion; it’s about balance. Your worth isn’t defined by how much you accomplish in a single day.

So, if today didn’t go as planned, take a deep breath. You are enough. You have done enough. And tomorrow is a new day.

My Gardening Plan: Growing for Health and Family

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Gardening is more than just a pastime for me; it’s a therapeutic practice that benefits both my mind and body. I live in Zone 8b, and although I’ve only had one truly successful garden, that one year was fantastic for my whole family. The fresh food, time spent outdoors, and sense of accomplishment made a lasting impact, and I’m excited to plan another great growing season.

Why Gardening Matters to Me

  1. Stress Reduction – Digging in the soil, planting seeds, and tending to plants help me unwind after a long day.
  2. Mindfulness and Relaxation – Gardening allows me to slow down and connect with nature, making me more present in the moment.
  3. Exercise and Outdoor Time – Spending time outside moving around in the garden is a great way to stay active and soak up some vitamin D.
  4. Family Connection – My family loved having fresh produce at home, and it became something we all enjoyed together.

My Plan for This Year’s Garden

Finding My Growing Zone

Since I’m in Zone 8b, I have a long growing season with mild winters, which means I can grow a wide variety of crops. If you’re unsure of your zone, check it here: USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map.

1. Starting Seeds Indoors

Since my successful year taught me that starting early is key, I’ll begin seeds indoors 6-8 weeks before the last frost date. Here’s what I plan to start early:

  • Tomatoes
  • Peppers
  • Broccoli
  • Cabbage
  • Herbs (basil, thyme, parsley)

I’ll use seed trays with high-quality seed-starting mix and keep them near a sunny window or under grow lights.

2. Preparing the Soil

Last time, I realized healthy soil made a big difference. This year, I’m preparing by:

  • Adding compost for nutrients
  • Testing soil pH and adjusting if necessary
  • Mulching to retain moisture and suppress weeds

For container gardening, I’ll use high-quality potting soil mixed with compost.

3. Choosing Onion and Potato Starts

Since my family loved fresh onions and potatoes, I’m making them a priority this year. In Zone 8b, late winter to early spring is the best time for planting:

  • Onions – I’ll buy onion sets or transplants and plant them in well-drained soil.
  • Potatoes – I’ll purchase seed potatoes and plant them in trenches, gradually covering them with soil as they grow.

4. Companion Planting & Crop Grouping

I want to maximize my garden space and reduce pests naturally, so I’m pairing plants strategically:

  • Tomatoes, Basil, Marigolds – Basil enhances tomato flavor, and marigolds deter pests.
  • Carrots & Onions – Onions help keep carrot flies away.
  • Beans & Corn – Beans fix nitrogen in the soil, which benefits corn.
  • Lettuce & Radishes – Radishes help loosen the soil for lettuce.

My Approach to Small-Space Gardening

Even though I have space for a garden, I also love growing in containers for easy access to fresh produce. This year, I’m growing:

  • Cherry Tomatoes – In 5-gallon buckets or large pots.
  • Lettuce & Spinach – In shallow containers for quick harvests.
  • Strawberries – In hanging baskets for fresh picking.
  • Herbs – Basil, mint, and rosemary in small pots near the kitchen.
  • Peppers – Compact and productive in containers.

Vertical Gardening

To make the most of my space, I’m using vertical planters, trellises, and hanging baskets. Climbing plants like cucumbers, beans, and peas will thrive in this setup.

Expanding to a Larger Garden

Last time, my garden was relatively small, but this year, I’m expanding. Here’s how I’ll set up my new space:

  • Crop rotation to maintain soil health
  • Irrigation systems for efficient watering
  • Square-foot gardening to optimize space and production

Visual Guides for Planning

I rely on visual references to keep my plan on track:

  • A seasonal planting guide for Zone 8b
  • Companion planting chart
  • Container gardening layouts
  • Raised bed designs

Final Thoughts

My first successful garden was a game-changer for my family. Now, I’m excited to refine my plan and build on what worked. Whether you’re just starting or looking to improve your garden, I encourage you to take small steps and enjoy the process.

What’s Next?

  • Check local frost dates and plan accordingly.
  • Gather seeds, soil, and containers.
  • Start small and expand as confidence grows.

Here’s to another great growing season—happy gardening from Zone 8b!

All is not lost

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Getting Back on Track: Embrace the Challenge and Reboot with Confidence

We’ve all been there. You set out with the best of intentions—whether it’s landing that dream job, sticking to a workout routine, eating healthier, or forming any positive habit—but somehow, life happens, and we get off track. It’s easy to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or even defeated when we stray from our goals. But here’s the thing: we’re never too old to reboot, and it’s never too late to pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward.

1. Acknowledge the Setback, But Don’t Dwell on It

The first step in getting back on track is simply acknowledging that you’ve fallen off course. Whether it’s a job search that’s been stalled, a fitness routine that’s been abandoned, or a healthy eating plan that’s been pushed to the back burner, it’s important to be kind to yourself. Life is full of setbacks and distractions, and that’s normal. We’re all human, after all. It is important to remember that even if you WERE a robot, they require maintenance too, and so will you. So be gentle with yourself, dear reader.

Instead of focusing on guilt or disappointment, treat this moment as an opportunity to reassess, reflect, and restart. Acknowledge where you are, but don’t get stuck there.

2. Break It Down Into Smaller, Manageable Steps

Once you’ve given yourself grace, the next step is to make your goal feel more achievable. Trying to dive straight back into a long-term objective can be overwhelming. Whether you’re resuming your job hunt, picking up weights at the gym again, or preparing a healthy meal, start small.

  • If you’re searching for a job, instead of feeling the pressure to apply for dozens of positions in a single day, aim for one or two quality applications each day.
  • For fitness, instead of committing to an hour-long workout, start with a short 15-minute routine that’s manageable and builds momentum.
  • When it comes to healthy eating, focus on one meal at a time rather than trying to overhaul your entire diet in one go.

By breaking your goals down, you not only make them more achievable but also start gaining momentum and confidence.

3. Face Challenges, Face Rejection, and Keep Going

One of the most difficult aspects of any journey is facing setbacks, whether it’s rejection during a job search, missed workouts, or slipping back into old eating habits. Rejection and failure can be painful, but they are also powerful teachers. They show us where we can improve and where we can pivot.

Don’t let a rejection define you—whether from an employer or a failure in sticking to a habit. Use it as fuel for growth. Each time you face a challenge, you build resilience and strength. When the going gets tough, that’s when the true growth happens.

4. Keep Your Eyes on Progress, Not Perfection

As you reboot, remember that perfection isn’t the goal. The goal is progress. Whether it’s landing your next job, regaining your fitness, or simply eating more balanced meals, progress, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. Be proud of each step forward. And if you slip up, don’t give up altogether. Success isn’t linear, and growth comes with its ups and downs.

Sometimes, even a tiny change in perspective can make a world of difference. Instead of focusing on the times you’ve missed the mark, focus on how far you’ve come since you started. Each day is an opportunity to take one more step closer to your goals.

5. Embrace Lifelong Growth

One of the most empowering truths we can adopt is that we’re never too old to learn, to evolve, or to start something new. Whether you’re venturing into a new career path, challenging yourself with a new workout, or discovering healthier ways to nourish your body, there’s always room for growth.

Being open to new experiences, learning from challenges, and continuing to improve—no matter our age or where we are in life—creates a richer, more fulfilling life.

In Conclusion: Keep Rebooting, Keep Moving

No matter where you are in your journey, remember this: setbacks don’t define your success. Rebooting doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re still on your way. Challenges, rejections, and obstacles are all part of the process, and they don’t stop us from growing. The most important thing is to keep going, to keep learning, and to keep striving to be better than you were yesterday.

So if you’ve fallen off track, it’s okay. You’re not alone, and you have the power to restart. Take that first step today—because progress begins with one small action.

Just a bad day, not a bad life

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

When the Universe Feels Like It’s Conspiring Against You: How to Cope on Bad Days

We’ve all been there—one day, you’re on top of the world, ticking off tasks like a productivity machine, and the next day, it feels like the universe is suddenly conspiring against you. Nothing goes right, every little thing seems like a mountain, and you wonder how you’re supposed to keep moving forward. The thing is, bad days don’t mean a bad life. It’s easy to get stuck in that moment, but when the walls feel like they’re closing in, there are ways to navigate the storm.

Let’s go over a few simple but powerful ways to cope with those tough days, and remember, this too shall pass.

1. Breathe, Seriously. Breathe

When stress starts to mount and the weight of the world feels heavy on your shoulders, it’s natural to tighten up, hold your breath, or start breathing shallowly. But guess what? Breathing is a simple tool that’s always available to you, and it works wonders for resetting your mind and body.

Try this: Close your eyes, and take a deep breath in through your nose for a count of four, hold it for a count of four, then slowly release it through your mouth for a count of six. Do this for a few minutes. This simple breathing technique can help lower your heart rate, reduce anxiety, and give you a mental reset, allowing you to move forward with a clearer mind.

2. Be Gentle with Yourself

We often put so much pressure on ourselves to perform perfectly every single day, and when we don’t, it can feel like a personal failure. But here’s the thing: You are allowed to have bad days. Everyone has them. They don’t define you. Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that you’re doing the best you can in the moment, and sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is show yourself compassion.

If things aren’t going well, take a step back and say to yourself, “It’s okay to not be okay right now.” Give yourself permission to rest and take a break. Perfection is not the goal; progress is.

3. Take a Short Walk

If you’ve been sitting in one place for too long or your thoughts are racing, sometimes the best remedy is to get up and move. Even just a short walk outside—whether it’s around the block or in your backyard—can shift your energy. Nature has a grounding effect, and the rhythm of walking can help clear your mind and release pent-up tension.

If you’re stuck indoors, consider walking around your home or office for a few minutes. A change of scenery and some movement can be a small but effective way to reset your mind and shift your perspective.

4. Stretch It Out

Stress can manifest physically in our bodies. Tight shoulders, clenched jaws, and stiff necks are just a few signs that tension has taken root. A few simple stretches can help release some of that physical stress. Try doing some gentle neck rolls, shoulder shrugs, or standing stretches. If you’re able to, a quick yoga session can work wonders, focusing on stretches that open up your chest and relieve back tension.

The key here is to listen to your body—don’t push yourself too hard, but give yourself the space to release what’s no longer serving you.

5. Take a Mental Break

Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do on a bad day is simply step away from the stressor, even if only for a few minutes. If you’re bogged down by work or a difficult situation, give yourself permission to take a mental break. Whether that’s stepping outside for fresh air, grabbing a cup of tea, or listening to some calming music, the break can help reset your mental state.

Remember, your productivity will often be much higher when you allow yourself to step away from the stress momentarily, rather than pushing through and exhausting yourself.

6. Reach Out for Support

Bad days don’t have to be faced alone. Sometimes, just talking to a friend, family member, or colleague can help alleviate the burden of a tough situation. Don’t hesitate to reach out when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Whether it’s venting or getting advice, a supportive conversation can bring a fresh perspective and remind you that you’re not in this alone.

7. Focus on What You Can Control

When everything feels out of your hands, it can be helpful to focus on the things you can control. Is there something small you can do right now that will help you feel more grounded or accomplished? Sometimes, taking just one step forward—whether it’s organizing your desk, finishing one small task, or even just drinking a glass of water—can give you a sense of agency and start to lift your mood.

8. End the Day with Gratitude

No matter how challenging the day has been, there’s always something to be grateful for. Before you go to bed, take a moment to reflect on what went well, however small it may be. Maybe you handled a difficult conversation, or you took the time to rest when you needed it. Remind yourself that even bad days are full of lessons and opportunities for growth.

Wrapping Up: Bad Day, Not a Bad Life

When it feels like the universe is working against you, take a deep breath, show yourself some compassion, and give yourself the gift of rest and perspective. Every day, no matter how hard, is a step forward. Bad days are just that—days—and they will pass. With small tools like breathing, stretching, walking, and focusing on what you can control, you can manage the stress and come out on the other side stronger.

Remember, this too shall pass. And on the days when it feels like you’re overwhelmed, remind yourself that a bad day does not define you. You’ve got this!

Anxiety vs Panic Attack

by Mothersense, posted in Uncategorized

Good Monday to you!! Whew!! The days of 2025 have been flying by, January is nearly half-way over. Thirteen days into a new year and I have experienced several anxiety attacks and 2 panic attacks. You may ask me: “Aren’t they the same thing?” I would have to answer you and tell you: “Absolutely not!” 

Anxiety and panic attacks can feel overwhelming and terrifying, often hitting without warning. Whether you’re dealing with a long-standing anxiety disorder or just experiencing the occasional panic episode, or if you are a lucky duck like me, you get both, learning how to manage these attacks effectively can significantly improve your mental and emotional well-being. In this post, we’ll explore ways to cope during a panic or anxiety attack, as well as strategies for dealing with the aftereffects, often referred to as the “hangover” feeling, which can leave you feeling drained, disoriented, or emotionally worn out.

Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are related but distinct experiences. Anxiety attacks are usually tied to heightened worry and tension over a specific situation or set of circumstances. These attacks may build up over time and can manifest in physical symptoms like increased heart rate, muscle tension, dizziness, or irritability.

On the other hand, panic attacks occur suddenly and typically come without any clear trigger. They are often intense and overwhelming, causing shortness of breath, chest pain, rapid heartbeat, sweating, chills, and feelings of impending doom. A panic attack might make you feel as though you’re losing control or even having a heart attack, though they are not life-threatening.

While panic attacks can be deeply distressing in the moment, both types of attacks can leave emotional and physical aftereffects once they subside. This period of time, often described as a “hangover,” can make it feel even harder to cope with daily life. But with the right tools and techniques, it’s possible to better manage these episodes and reduce their impact on your day-to-day life. It may take some time and practice to experience fewer episodes, and it may even require medication, but it can be managed.

Coping Strategies During an Anxiety or Panic Attack

  1. Grounding Techniques: Grounding is one of the most effective strategies to bring your focus back to the present moment. One popular method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you engage your senses to distract your mind:
    • 5 things you can see
    • 4 things you can touch
    • 3 things you can hear
    • 2 things you can smell
    • 1 thing you can taste
  2. This method helps break the cycle of anxious thinking and can provide a sense of control during an attack.
  3. Deep Breathing: During an anxiety or panic attack, your breathing tends to become shallow or erratic. Focusing on slow, deep breaths can help calm your nervous system. Try breathing in for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of four. Repeat this process several times until you begin to feel more centered.
  4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): PMR involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting from your toes and working up to your head. This technique helps to release the physical tension that often accompanies anxiety and panic attacks and can promote a sense of calm.
  5. Mindfulness and Self-Talk: Anxiety and panic attacks can fuel irrational thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by reminding yourself that the attack, although uncomfortable, is not life-threatening. Reassure yourself with affirmations such as, “This will pass,” or “I am safe.” Mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on your breath or engaging in a simple task, can also help to pull you out of the fight-or-flight response.
  6. Finding a Safe Space: If possible, remove yourself from the situation that is triggering the attack. Find a quiet, calm space where you can regain control of your breathing and thoughts. This may help prevent the attack from intensifying.

Managing the “Hangover” After an Anxiety or Panic Attack

After the intensity of an anxiety or panic attack subsides, many people experience lingering effects. The “hangover” of an anxiety or panic attack can include feelings of exhaustion, irritability, brain fog, and heightened sensitivity. Here are some strategies to help you manage this period:

  1. Rest and Recover: Panic and anxiety attacks can be physically and emotionally draining. Allow yourself time to rest, hydrate, and eat well to replenish your energy. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you need to take it easy for a while after an episode.
  2. Gentle Movement: While rest is important, gentle movement like stretching or a short walk can help release the remaining tension in your body. It can also boost your mood by increasing the production of endorphins, which promote feelings of well-being.
  3. Journal Your Experience: After an attack, journaling can be a helpful way to process your emotions. Write down what happened, how you felt, and any triggers that may have contributed to the episode. Reflecting on these experiences can give you insight into your anxiety and help you identify patterns, which may be useful for future coping strategies.
  4. Self-Compassion: It’s easy to fall into negative self-talk after an anxiety or panic attack, especially if you feel like you’ve lost control. Be kind to yourself and recognize that anxiety is a condition that many people experience. Acknowledge your efforts in managing the situation and give yourself credit for coping in a difficult moment.
  5. Talk to a Professional: If the hangover effects persist or interfere with your daily life, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches are effective tools for managing anxiety and preventing future panic attacks. Additionally, if you’re not already under the care of a mental health professional, they can help you create a treatment plan tailored to your needs.

Long-Term Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Panic Attacks

While coping during an anxiety or panic attack is essential, it’s also important to develop long-term strategies for managing your overall anxiety. These may include:

  • Regular Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce overall anxiety by releasing tension, improving mood, and promoting better sleep.
  • Meditation and Mindfulness: Incorporating daily mindfulness practices can help train your mind to stay calm and present, making you less likely to be overwhelmed by anxiety.
  • Adequate Sleep: Lack of sleep can heighten anxiety. Prioritize sleep hygiene and aim for a consistent sleep schedule.
  • Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Balanced nutrition, hydration, and reducing caffeine and alcohol intake can all play a role in managing anxiety.
  • Support System: Talking with friends, family, or support groups can make you feel less isolated and more connected.

Final Thoughts

Anxiety and panic attacks can be difficult to navigate, but with practice, you can learn to manage and cope with them more effectively. By using grounding techniques, deep breathing, and other coping mechanisms, you can reduce the intensity of these attacks and feel more in control when they occur. Additionally, learning to manage the emotional and physical aftereffects—what some call the “hangover”—will help you recover and move forward more quickly.

Above all, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to have moments where things feel out of control. What matters most is how you respond and the strategies you develop to take care of yourself in the aftermath. With time, patience, and the right tools, you can reduce the impact of anxiety and panic attacks on your life and regain a sense of peace and stability