Tag: motherhood

Low Flame, Big Impact: The Strength of Being Present

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Blog Post: A Low Flame Still Lights the Dark

I haven’t wanted to do much of anything this week. Oh, I’ve done the bare minimum the best I can. I have pain. I have grief. I have things that need doing, and absolutely no motivation to do them. Showering, cooking, cleaning—those things get done, though some days I have to talk myself into each one.

I check in on my kids. It probably annoys them sometimes; I ask the same questions and get mostly the same answers. But I hope they know I’m here. I’m listening. I cheer for them silently, and I cover them in prayer every. single. day.

Right now, I’m in my mostly silent era. I’m being still, being quiet, trying to heal the parts of myself I don’t share with the world. I’m taking a beat to remember who I am, what I stand for, and how to stay present. Even if “present” looks like me half-asleep on the couch, waiting to welcome my daughter home after her trip to say goodbye to a friend who could no longer bear the weight of his pain.

I keep reminding myself that I am not expected to have all the answers. That others need grace and mercy. That the time and space I occupy matter—and simply being present matters.

Readers, when you come across this, and as you move through your day and all the days to come, please remember to be kind. You never know what battle someone else is carrying. I’ve studied world religions and belief systems, and one major tenet shows up in every single one: don’t be a jerk. Do good where you can. Help those who struggle. We have to be the light, even if sometimes we’re only a low flame.

Always,
Julie 🙂

Embracing Consistency Amid Life’s Challenges

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

I Didn’t Feel Like Writing This Week

I’ll be honest—this week, I didn’t feel like writing at all. It’s been a doozy. More changes. More upheaval. Another loss I can’t publicly speak about yet. Just layers of raw, real emotions, stacked on top of each other like I’m supposed to carry them with grace when half the time I feel like I’m barely treading water.

But I reminded myself of something important: consistency matters. Even when the steps feel small. Even when it feels like I have nothing profound or polished to offer. Writing about my struggles, or my adventures in the kitchen, or the little victories—those things ground me. And maybe they remind someone else to keep going, too.

Inside my own mind, I’ve been giving myself constant pep talks:
Breathe. Slow down. Do better. Be the example.
And Lord knows I don’t always succeed. I miss things. I stumble. I screw up. But I am trying. I am healing, grieving, learning, and growing. And honestly? I’m proud of me.

I keep reminding myself to meditate, to be still, to move my body, to eat what nourishes me, to stretch, to breathe deeply, to stay present. Some days it feels like sooooo much. And this week especially, my mind was rebelling. I didn’t want to write my blog. I didn’t want to get a colonoscopy. I didn’t want to watch my kid leave to go help a grieving family. But I did all of it—and more.

I’m still figuring out what works for me as I get older, as life shifts under my feet, as new seasons roll in whether I ask for them or not. I hope my kids see that I’m trying to be better, to stay healthy, to keep growing. I still have some habits to break, but I’m getting there.

Halloween came and went, and I missed my mom with an ache I couldn’t shake. I want to ask her how she carried the heavy load all those years. She made it look effortless. And she was beautiful while she did it. I miss her smile and that little cackle she had. I can almost hear her telling me she left her burdens in God’s hands—that her faith, tested and steady, is what kept her standing.

She’d tell me I’m smart. That I’ll figure things out. That my instincts are good, and I should trust them. And I do still hear her voice sometimes, softer now, but still clear. I’m grateful for that. Grateful for her.

So here’s my reminder to you—and to myself:
Do your best out there.
Be yourself.
Trust your instincts.
Keep moving.

Love and Light, y’all.

Embracing Imperfection: Finding Grace in Struggle

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

I’m Letting You in on a Little Secret…

I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret: I do not have all of my ducks in a row!

Shocking, right? I know a little bit (or maybe a whole lot) about a great deal of things — cooking, baking, sautéing, homemaking, making money stretch — you name it. I’ve built real skills over the years, and I take pride in them. But even with all that knowledge, I still have those days. The ones that make me want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. The days that drag on so long and hard that I catch myself wishing the time away.

Yes, I know how to make money work for me, but I’ll be honest — once the needs are covered, I still struggle. Do I treat myself to something nice? Save it for later? Spend it on my kids? The internal debate is real.

I live with PTSD and anxiety. I get “blue” days — not what I’d call depression, but heavy enough that I feel it in my bones. I’ve seen true depression up close — in my children, in my ex-husband, in others I love — and it has taught me a lot about compassion, patience, and grace.

Some days, I’m full of energy and optimism, ready to take on the world. And other days… I’m lucky if I can get supper cooked. And that’s okay. I’ve learned that even with all my knowledge — about money, about mental health, about coping — some days just aren’t it.

On those days, I have to remind myself: give yourself grace. Say, “Enough. Be still. Rest.” You don’t have to do it all — especially today.

But here’s the tricky part: rest can easily turn into avoidance if we’re not careful. It’s important to recognize what’s going on and act accordingly. Listen to your instincts. Listen to your body. Rest when you need to — but also, when it’s time, get up and move.

Take the shower. Bake the bread. Step outside and touch grass.

We’re all learning in this life — every second, every day. We just have to keep showing up.

And if you ever feel like you fell short or owe someone an apology — do it, mean it, and move on. Know better, do better. Every. Single. Day.

Love and light,
💛 Julie

Conquer Financial Stress: Budgeting Strategies for Mental Wellness

by Mothersense, posted in financial-planning, This Life

Too Much Month at the End of Your Money? Let’s Fix That

Money stress hits hard — and not just your wallet. It weighs on your mind, affects your mood, and can make even simple decisions feel overwhelming. If you’ve ever found yourself staring at your bank account wondering how there’s still so much month left at the end of your money, you are not alone.

The truth is, financial strain can take a serious toll on your mental health. But with the right plan, some practical tools, and a little bit of grace, you can turn that stress into confidence and stability.

Step One: Understand Where Your Money Is Going

Before you can get ahead financially, you have to get real about where your money is going. Start by dividing your spending into two main categories:

✅ Needs

The essentials that keep you and your family safe and secure — food, housing, clothing, transportation, insurance, and healthcare.

💸 Wants

The things that add fun, convenience, or comfort — eating out, streaming subscriptions, impulse purchases, hobbies, or luxury items.

When you clearly see the difference between needs and wants, you can make smarter choices about where your money goes — without feeling deprived.

Step Two: Create a Flexible Financial Game Plan

A budget shouldn’t feel like a punishment. It’s a tool that helps you take control. And I can help you build one that actually works for your lifestyle.

Here’s how we can start:

  • 🍲 Budget-friendly meal ideas that taste great and stretch your grocery dollars.
  • 🛒 Meal planning and prep strategies to save you time (and reduce stress).
  • 📱 Smart grocery hacks — couponing, delivery services, and avoiding impulse buys.
  • 💰 Insurance and legal guidance, from understanding coverage to writing your will.
  • 🧓 Retirement planning, even if you feel “behind.”

And when life throws a curveball — like a surprise car repair or medical bill — your plan should be strong and flexible enough to adjust without derailing your progress.

Step Three: Protect Your Mental Health

Money stress can creep into every corner of your life if you let it. That’s why it’s so important to take care of you while you’re taking care of your finances.

Here are a few simple ways to stay grounded:

  • Take a walk and get some fresh air.
  • Try deep breathing or shoulder rolls to release tension.
  • Do yoga or stretch for a few minutes.
  • And yes — go outside barefoot and touch grass. It really does help.

For me personally, grocery delivery has been a sanity-saver. I avoid impulse buys, stick to my list, and save time and energy. The delivery fee? Totally worth it. Plus, meal planning keeps our household running smoothly — we rarely eat out, and rotating a few favorite meals keeps things simple and affordable.

Step Four: Give Yourself Grace

Financial change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s about progress, not perfection. Some weeks will go smoothly, and others will feel messy — and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re trying, learning, and adjusting along the way.

Remember: you don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s Take the Stress Out of Your Finances — Together

If you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed and ready to take control of your money and your mental health, I’m here to help.

Whether you need:

  • A custom budget plan that fits your life
  • Affordable meal ideas and grocery strategies
  • Guidance on insurance, legal, or retirement planning

…I’ve got you. Let’s work together to build a plan that gives you peace of mind and helps you breathe easier — financially and emotionally.

👉 Schedule a Consultation : Julie Kilcrease

JKILCREASE@primerica.com United States Texas : ‪(254) 677-7510‬

Understanding Domestic Violence: More Than Just Leaving

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

October: Domestic Violence Awareness Month — It’s Not as Simple as “Just Leave”

October is more than pumpkin spice and falling leaves — it’s also Domestic Violence Awareness Month. A time to shine a light on a shadow that exists in too many homes, behind too many closed doors, often in silence.

I have loved people who were involved in domestic violence situations. I have witnessed the pain, the confusion, the trauma — and the resilience. And I want to be very clear: It is never as simple as “just leave.”

We often hear that phrase from the outside looking in. It’s easy to believe that leaving an abusive partner should be a quick decision — that once the abuse is recognized, the path forward is obvious. But those of us who have walked alongside someone in that situation — or have lived it ourselves — know better.

Domestic violence isn’t always black eyes and bruises. It can be emotional manipulation, financial control, isolation, threats, gaslighting — or a combination of all these things. Abusers often wear masks to the world, and behind closed doors, they strip their partners of safety, confidence, and independence.

The truth is, leaving can be the most dangerous time. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), more than 70% of domestic violence-related murders happen after the victim has left or is in the process of leaving. That’s not just a statistic — that’s a heartbreaking reality.

The Complexity of Abuse

Here’s why “just leave” doesn’t cut it:

  • Emotional ties: Abusers often use manipulation and trauma bonding, making the victim question their own worth, memories, and even reality.
  • Financial dependence: Many survivors have no access to money, bank accounts, or employment. Financial abuse traps them in fear of homelessness or inability to care for children.
  • Fear: Of retaliation. Of the unknown. Of the legal system. Of being believed.
  • Children: Survivors worry about custody battles, safety of their kids, or the trauma of uprooting their lives.

The cycle of abuse is real. It’s not linear. Survivors might leave and return multiple times before finding a way out for good. That doesn’t mean they’re weak — it means they’re surviving the best they can in an incredibly complex and dangerous situation.

What You Can Do

You don’t have to have all the answers to help someone. You don’t need a magic solution. Sometimes, just being there is the most powerful act of love.

  • Listen without judgment. Let them speak. Let them cry. Let them not talk about it if they’re not ready.
  • Let them know you’re a safe place. Say: “I believe you. You don’t deserve this. You’re not alone.”
  • Don’t pressure them to leave. Instead, help them build a plan when they’re ready. Offer resources. Offer your presence.
  • Be patient. Healing and action take time.

If You or Someone You Know Needs Help

There are organizations ready to support survivors — with safety planning, emergency shelter, legal help, therapy, and more.

📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Or text “START” to 88788
http://www.thehotline.org

Available 24/7. Confidential. Free.

🟣 Love is Respect (for young people/teens)

Text “LOVEIS” to 22522
http://www.loveisrespect.org

A Few More Statistics to Remember

  • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.
  • On a typical day, more than 20,000 phone calls are placed to domestic violence hotlines across the U.S.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women — more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

To anyone who is in a violent or emotionally abusive relationship:
You are not alone. You are worthy of safety. You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are loved.
You may not be ready yet — and that’s okay. When you are, we will be here.

To the rest of us: Be the safe place. Be the soft landing. Be the friend who listens and believes — without pushing, without judgment.

Because love isn’t supposed to hurt.
Because silence doesn’t heal.
Because awareness leads to action.

Love and Light, People. 💜