I know many of my posts lately have dealt with my husband and his lack of a diagnosis. That is hard y’all we are nearly a year into this struggle but that has put some of our other family struggles on a back burner so to speak. I have high lighted what we have gone through with the doctors and hospitals without really mentioning what the kids are dealing with on a daily. This week has been a doozy!!
Maybe you have read previous posts and you know that the dwellers in my household consist of 4 children and 2 adults – because oldest boy has gone to college and boomeranged back to live with my parents and my ‘nother daughter is off at college now. I home-school the remaining 4: 15 girl, 14 girl, 11 girl and 5 boy. Oh yes, you read that right I have 3 hormonal females in my house, besides me!! On top of that little bit of delightful oldest girl 15 – Squirrel,is dyslexic, asthmatic, and hates to write but loves to talk, my 14 year old Bug, has an alphabet of diagnoses that include autism and bi-polar disorder, 11 year old girl, Lala, has migraines, lots of allergies, and some serious issues with her jaw that we are working to correct, and then we have Bear and his energetic, charismatic, all boy, 5 year old self. That is about it in a nutshell. However we have had some serious head-butting going on this week!
I don’t know if it is the stars aligning or the cycle of the moon or the hormonal cycle but my precious precious Bug is having a really difficult time coping with every single thing. I am not saying she has not been taught tools, coping skills, time outs, etc, I am saying none of it seems to be enough!! So we have had numerous angry and emotional outbursts this week and they end in lots of tears and BIG BIG hugs!! I love her so much and it kills me to see her get like this, but it is to be expected. It is part and parcel of who she is and we love her through it, we let her know that her diagnosis is not an excuse to treat people badly. We let her know that we aren’t perfect either and we get through apologies. We let siblings know to be patient with her and love her and try to be tolerant of her sometimes annoying behaviors, like wanting to listen to the same song over and over and over again. The older girl gets it even though she sometimes forgets, younger girl gets it but sometimes it is scary, and Bear well he mostly goes with the flow right now. We foster love here, we want kids that will love an support one another no matter what and I think we are getting there.
If I learn anything from my Bug it is that she feels everything very deeply and she doesn’t regret it but I hope she learns from it all. I hope she learns from watching me. Sadness is ok to feel but you don’t have to stay there and dwell on what makes you sad. Anger is ok to feel too, feel it, and let it go because it will eat you alive. Love, oh LOVE!! Loving on people is so great at times, but then they disappoint because that is human, and then love hurts. Hurt is ok too, but not a place to stay, lick your wounds and move on. Happy is a good place to be, counting your blessings even in the face of adversity. Happy to have the chance to Live, Love, and Laugh another day. Happy to see others succeed in life, not to be envious of them but happy for them to be living their dream. I hope not only my sweet and precious Bug sees all of this in me but ALL of my children see the example I am trying to be.
I don’t give up because I realize who is watching. Love and Light readers!
Mothersense and Miscellaneous 