Navigating life -Steps you can take

Getting through the tough times – Steps you can take

If you have seen my previous posts, you know a bit of what we have been through and ways that I have tried to help my family cope with various struggles. Although I gave birth to 5 children, I also have had the honor to be a safe adult for several other children in my life-time. Meaning they either lived with me or were always coming to me to help them through difficult times. They are mostly adults now and still have struggles, but because they learned some coping skills, the struggles are not as difficult. This blog is to serve as a help in the conversation about mental health. It is filled with what has worked for us and what we tried. Mental health issues are not really a one size fits all, some meds will work for some and not so well for others. Therapy with a professional can be beneficial for everyone but takes time. What can be beneficial is to not stop trying, to keep looking for what works for you and your family. I will always advocate for being mindful of what you are CONSUMING, that means food, entertainment, information, social media, it will all have an effect on your mental health. Keeping all of this in mind, the following is a post about steps you can take while on your mental health journey. 

Are you someone who needs quiet? DO you crave some quiet alone time in your day to process, prepare or recuperate from your day? Here are some things that help with getting that little slice of quiet.

  1. Get up earlier than the rest of the family- I know it sounds hard but it can be beneficial for you to start your morning mentally preparing yourself for the day. You can have a quiet cup of coffee or listen to a bit of calming music, do your morning stretches, read your Bible, just some quiet “just me” time that is calm
  2. Stay up a bit later than everyone else. Yes, I did this quite a bit. In the evening you can also do some skincare, a soak in the tub, again music to wind down, reading a book or Bible study. I don’t recommend exercise before bedtime because the feel good hormones that are released actually serve to wake you up and you will not be going to sleep soon afterwards. 
  3. If you are a parent that has to pick up the kids, read while waiting in the pick up line. If you have to commute, listen to a podcast or audiobook. This isn’t entirely quiet, but it is a bit of time carved out for you to do something that is just for you. 

Do you feel like you just want to cry sometimes? Yeah, me too. Crying can be a beneficial emotional release, serving as a natural mechanism to process and alleviate stress or sadness. My husband will sometimes intentionally take time to watch something that he knows will make him cry, because he says it is cleansing. I agree it can be cleansing, but I am not set up to do what my husband does. I am that mom that has avoided the final episode of Supernatural because I knew the ending would be sad. I didn’t know the details BUT I just KNEW it would make me cry, all endings like that on tv shows make me cry. It’s over. No more. So yeah, I cried. I cried when I was going through Grey’s. I didn’t need to intentionally look for stuff, sometimes the news made me cry. Crying is normal and healthy. Sometimes it is overwhelming sadness and other times tears accompany great joy! 

When tears do flow, they often help to release pent-up emotions and can even trigger the release of endorphins, which act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers. To make the most of this cathartic experience, it’s useful to follow a few steps:

  1. Allow yourself to cry without judgment; acknowledging and accepting your emotions can lead to a more profound emotional release. 
  1. Find a safe and supportive environment where you can express yourself freely.
  1. After the tears have subsided, engage in self-care activities such as deep breathing, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend, to help you process the experience and regain a sense of balance. Embracing crying as a part of your emotional toolkit can foster resilience and lead to greater overall well-being.

We get to cry, however if you find yourself crying often and easily, then perhaps medical or therapeutic interventions should be pursued. 

The most important thing you can do for yourself or to help anyone who may struggle is to connect. Talk to someone or listen to someone when struggling. Connection to others has been proven to be the most vital aspect of mental health. 

Here’s a list of key contacts and resources for those struggling with mental health issues. It’s important to reach out to professionals or organizations that can provide support and guidance.

 Emergency Contacts:

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-TALK (8255)  

   – Available 24/7 for crisis support.

2. Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741  

   – Provides 24/7 support via text.

3. Emergency Services (U.S.): Dial 911  

   – For immediate assistance in a crisis situation. Ensure they operator is aware it is a mental health emergency

General Support:

1. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)  

   – Provides information, support, and resources for mental health.

2. Mental Health America (MHA): 1-800-969-6642  

   – Offers mental health resources and support.

3. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)  

   – Provides information and referrals for mental health and substance use disorders.

Online Resources:

1. 7 Cups: [7cups.com](https://www.7cups.com)  

   – Offers free, anonymous online counseling and support.

2. BetterHelp: [betterhelp.com](https://www.betterhelp.com)  

   – Provides online therapy with licensed professionals.

3. Headspace: [headspace.com](https://www.headspace.com)  

   – Offers mindfulness and meditation resources.

International Contacts:

1. Samaritans (UK & Ireland): 116 123  

   – Offers support 24/7 for those in emotional distress.

2. Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14  

   – Provides 24/7 crisis support.

3. Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566  

   – Offers support through phone and text.

Remember, it’s essential to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling. These resources are a good starting point for finding the support needed. And remember the best lesson from Finding Nemo comes from Dory: “Just keep swimming” Make it a great day folks, the choice is in your hands.

We are what we eat…

The Connection Between Food and Mental Health

As a 49-year-old mother of five, I’ve spent years juggling the chaos of family life, a career, and trying to stay healthy. Over time, I’ve learned that what I put on my plate does far more than just feed my body—it feeds my mind, too. Our daily diet plays an integral role in how we feel, think, and cope with the ups and downs of life. Here’s what I’ve discovered about the relationship between the food we eat and mental health, from my perspective as a busy mom navigating life’s many demands.

The Busy Mom Diet: When Convenience Comes First

Let’s face it—when you’re raising kids, and juggling their homework and activities, meal planning often takes a back seat to convenience. I’ve been there, reaching for quick fixes like processed snacks, fast food, and sugary treats just to get through the day. But as I hit my 40s, I began to notice that not only was my energy tanking, but my mood was all over the place. I felt anxious, irritable, and, honestly, a little down more often than I’d like to admit. 

It wasn’t just the physical toll of running a household; I began to suspect that my diet was playing a big role in how I was feeling mentally. And my doctor warned me that my A1C was putting me in a borderline state. I had to take a look at what I was eating and how it made me FEEL. This was my suspicion, what I was eating was affecting my mood swings and my sugar levels.

The Science Behind Food and Mood

It turns out, I wasn’t wrong. Research shows that the food we eat has a direct impact on our mental health. A diet high in processed foods, sugar, and unhealthy fats can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and mood swings. In contrast, a balanced diet rich in whole foods—think fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats—provides the brain with the nutrients it needs to function optimally.

Gut Health: The Second Brain

When the girls were playing soccer, one of the soccer parents introduced me to an idea about the gut-brain connection. Did you know that your gut is sometimes called your “second brain”? The gut is home to trillions of bacteria that help regulate not only digestion but also mood. These bacteria produce neurotransmitters like serotonin, the “feel-good” chemical that plays a key role in keeping our mood stable.

When I started focusing on feeding my gut with fiber-rich foods like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, I noticed a significant improvement in my mood. I also incorporated shots of kefir sometimes to help the gut biome. Although it wasn’t overnight, a few weeks of eating more mindfully, I felt calmer, more focused, and better equipped to handle the stress of daily life. And sometimes we still ate processed foods, but I was more mindful of the fuel we were putting in our bodies. 

Sugar and Mental Health: A Love-Hate Relationship

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from raising kids and being around kids, it is that sugar is everywhere! It is the big ugly thing that hides in so many things we eat! It’s in snacks, drinks, and even foods we wouldn’t expect, like bread and sauces. For years, I leaned on sugary treats or sugary drinks with caffeine to get that quick energy boost, especially during the long days of parenting. But what I didn’t realize was how sugar affects mental health.

Sugar may give you an instant lift, but it’s followed by a crash that can leave you feeling irritable, tired, and foggy. Over time, these fluctuations in blood sugar can contribute to symptoms of anxiety and depression. Once I started cutting back on sugar and replacing it with healthier alternatives like fruits, nuts, and even dark chocolate (yes, I still need my treats!), I felt more balanced both mentally and physically.

Omega-3s: The Brain’s Best Friend

One dietary change that helped make a difference for me was incorporating more omega-3 fatty acids into my meals and snacks. These healthy fats, found in foods like salmon, chia seeds, and walnuts, are essential for brain health. Omega-3s help reduce inflammation in the brain and have been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Making simple swaps—like adding a handful of walnuts or a tablespoon of chia seeds to my morning oatmeal or cooking salmon or making a salmon salad once a week started to become routine. And honestly, I could feel the change. My mind felt clearer, and I was able to manage stress in ways I hadn’t been able to before. I do not always keep all of these ingredients on hand, but I do notice the difference when I haven’t been keeping up with watching what I eat. I feel it and then remember to add them to the grocery list. This isn’t a passing “diet” it is just making small changes to give your body the fuel it needs to operate at its best and occasionally we lapse back into the bad eating habits. When you do that just course correct and begin again, it’s not a failure, just a backslide.

The Power of Routine and Self-Care

As a busy mom, balancing everything can be a challenge. I know that self-care often falls to the bottom of the to-do list. But I’ve learned that prioritizing what I eat is one of the most important forms of self-care I can practice. It doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming; even small changes can have a big impact.

I now make an effort to prepare balanced meals, drink plenty of water, and include foods that nourish both my body and mind. And if I am missing something I also take a multivitamin to try to keep my body functioning at its best. Eating regularly has kept my blood sugar stable, which has been a huge game-changer for my energy and mood. No more need for the snickers in the afternoons because I was getting “hangry.” I also snack on things that are better for me than a candy bar, maybe some almonds or sunflower seeds and dried cranberries, just enough to get me to dinner. You can do what works for you and your tastes, read the labels.

Setting an Example for My Kids

The absolute best motivator for me has been setting a good example for my children. I wanted them to understand that what they eat doesn’t just affect how they look or their physical health—it affects how they feel emotionally and mentally. Encouraging them to make healthy food choices and teaching them the importance of balance and moderation has always been a “thing” in this household. Sometimes my insistence that they give me two bites of anything I cooked led to them discovering that they actually did like the weird looking stuff or the green stuff. I really did raise some of the least picky eaters. 

Final Thoughts

At 49, I’m still learning, growing, and making changes to support my health and well-being. But one thing I know for sure is that the connection between food and mental health is real. As a mother, wife, and woman juggling many roles, the food I eat has become one of the most powerful tools I have to support my mental clarity, emotional balance, and overall happiness.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just not yourself, take a look at what’s on your plate. It might be the key to feeling better, stronger, and more mentally resilient. Trust me—if this busy mom can do it, anyone can! If you need help with ideas or recipes to help do better, let me know. I have been there, it is a journey, and you are not alone!

Love and light, y’all! 

If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed Crisis help line: Call or Text 988