Author: Mothersense

I am a mother to wonderfully challenging children. I married my best friend. Eternal Student. Amateur Photographer. Friend. Caregiver. I taught English in public schools for 2 years and am now working at home proofreading and copywriting and working in financial services. I write about my experiences in life and those of loved ones.

Mental Health Helps: Contacts for reaching out

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

How to Reach Out for Help When Struggling with Mental Health: Resources for Support

Mental health struggles are incredibly personal, and sometimes reaching out for help can feel overwhelming. Whether you are struggling with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or issues related to sexual identity, there are multiple ways to get support. Seeking help is the first step toward healing, and there are numerous resources available to assist you in moments of crisis or to simply provide a listening ear when needed.

Here’s a guide on how to access the support you deserve.

1. Immediate Help: National Hotlines and Text Services

If you are in immediate distress, there are national helplines that offer confidential and free support, 24/7. These services can provide crisis intervention, emotional support, and guide you toward further resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)

This is a free, confidential, 24/7 service that provides immediate support for anyone in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts. They also offer resources to help with mental health struggles such as depression, anxiety, and emotional distress.

Crisis Text Line

  • Text: Text “HELLO” to 741741
  • Website: Crisis Text Line
  • Available 24/7, Crisis Text Line offers text-based crisis intervention. It’s available for anyone experiencing stress, anxiety, panic attacks, or other emotional distress. Whether it’s a small issue or a life-threatening crisis, text lines offer help wherever you are.

The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Crisis Support)

  • Phone: 1-866-488-7386
  • Text: Text START to 678678
  • Website: The Trevor Project
  • The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services specifically for LGBTQ+ youth, offering help in a safe, nonjudgmental space.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

  • Phone: 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)
  • Website: SAMHSA Helpline
  • This is a free, confidential, 24/7 helpline for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. SAMHSA offers referrals for treatment facilities, support groups, and more.

2. Specialized Support: Mental Health Resources for Specific Issues

For LGBTQ+ Youth:

  • PFLAG National
    • Phone: 1-202-467-8180
    • Website: PFLAG National
    • PFLAG is the first and largest organization for LGBTQ+ people, their parents, families, and allies. They offer local chapters that provide resources, support, and guidance for individuals navigating identity, especially in challenging times.

For Survivors of Sexual Abuse:

  • RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
    • Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
    • Online Chat: RAINN Online Chat
    • RAINN provides confidential support for survivors of sexual violence. Whether you need to speak with a counselor or are seeking help finding resources, RAINN is a trusted resource.

3. Mental Health Support Through Therapy and Counseling

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, talking to a therapist can provide professional support. There are numerous platforms that offer therapy services online or in-person. Many providers offer sliding scale fees to make counseling more affordable.

BetterHelp

  • Website: BetterHelp
  • BetterHelp is an online therapy platform where you can connect with licensed counselors through text, video calls, or phone calls. It’s a flexible option for people who may not have access to in-person therapy.

Talkspace

  • Website: Talkspace
  • Like BetterHelp, Talkspace connects you with licensed therapists for online sessions. You can access therapy through text, voice, or video chats, giving you a private and accessible way to reach out for help.

4. YouTube Resources and Mental Health Education

Sometimes, we just need a bit of guidance or even just to hear someone else’s story. YouTube has a variety of resources that offer mental health tips, coping strategies, and motivational support. Here are some helpful channels to check out:

  • Kati Morton
    • Channel: Kati Morton
    • Kati Morton is a licensed therapist who shares videos on mental health topics, ranging from anxiety and depression to relationship struggles and self-care.
  • Psychology In Seattle
    • Channel: Psychology In Seattle
    • Dr. Kirk Honda is a licensed therapist and professor who discusses real-world mental health topics, psychological theory, and personal experiences in a relatable way.
  • The Mighty
    • Channel: The Mighty
    • The Mighty shares empowering stories and educational videos on a wide range of topics, from mental health to chronic illnesses, and offers a supportive community for individuals living with disabilities and mental health challenges.

5. Local Support Groups and Services

In addition to national services, there are often local support groups that provide in-person or online gatherings. These groups can offer safe spaces to talk about your experiences and hear from others who may be going through similar struggles.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

  • Phone: 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264)
  • Website: NAMI
  • NAMI offers support groups, resources, and education for individuals and families affected by mental health issues. They have local chapters across the United States that provide peer-led groups.

6. Apps for Mental Health and Wellness

Sometimes, technology can offer a supportive, non-judgmental way to practice self-care and manage mental health. Here are a few apps designed to help with mental wellness:

  • Calm
    • Website: Calm
    • Calm provides guided meditation, breathing exercises, and sleep stories to help reduce stress and promote relaxation.
  • Headspace
    • Website: Headspace
    • Headspace is another app that offers mindfulness and meditation resources to help manage anxiety, stress, and mental clarity.
  • Sanvello
    • Website: Sanvello
    • Sanvello offers a range of tools, from meditation to mood tracking and therapy. It’s designed to help with stress, anxiety, and depression.

You Are Not Alone

Struggling with your mental health can be isolating, but it’s important to remember that help is available. There is no shame in reaching out, whether it’s through a crisis hotline, therapy, or community resources. You deserve support, and these resources are here to offer just that.

Whether you’re dealing with mental health challenges, identity struggles, or substance abuse, there are people who care and who can help you navigate these tough times. Don’t hesitate to reach out—healing is possible, and taking the first step is often the hardest part. You are worth it.

Forgiveness for others, for yourself

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

The Struggle of Forgiveness: Why Letting Go is Vital for Mental Health

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful acts of healing we can do for ourselves, but it’s also one of the hardest. Whether you’re struggling to forgive someone who has hurt you, or battling the guilt of not forgiving yourself, it can feel like an impossible task. However, forgiveness is essential for mental health, peace of mind, and moving forward in life. It’s a powerful tool that can free us from pain, resentment, and the weight of negative emotions that hold us back. But why is it so challenging, and how can we move past the struggle to heal?

Why is Forgiveness So Hard?

Forgiveness can feel like giving up your right to be angry, hurt, or upset. When someone wrongs us, the emotions can run deep. There’s often a sense of betrayal, hurt, or disappointment. It’s natural to want to hold onto these feelings, because it feels like protecting yourself. In the case of self-forgiveness, it can be even harder. How do you forgive yourself for things you regret? The shame and guilt can feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you don’t deserve forgiveness.

But what if we told you that holding onto these feelings is actually making things worse? Unforgiveness doesn’t hurt the person who wronged you—it hurts you. It keeps you stuck in the past and prevents you from moving forward in life. It can affect your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and stress. Holding onto guilt or resentment also weighs on your heart, mind, and body, making it harder to find peace and joy.

The Impact of Unforgiveness on Mental Health

The emotional and physical toll of unforgiveness is real. Studies have shown that carrying the burden of anger or regret can lead to increased stress, lower immunity, and even chronic health issues. When we hold on to unresolved emotions, they can manifest as tension, sleeplessness, headaches, and more. In the long run, harboring unforgiveness can even contribute to deeper mental health challenges, such as depression and anxiety.

Mentally, not forgiving can cause you to relive the pain over and over again. You might find yourself ruminating on past events, replaying conversations or moments in your head. This can make it difficult to move on and create new, positive memories. The past can trap you in a cycle of negative thinking, which holds you back from being present and finding joy in your life today.

Forgiving Others: A Gift to Yourself

Forgiving others doesn’t mean excusing their behavior or forgetting the hurt. It means deciding that you are no longer going to let their actions control your happiness and peace of mind. When you forgive, you are taking back your power. You’re choosing to let go of the negative emotions that have held you hostage for so long.

Forgiving others is a process—it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s okay to take small steps and allow yourself to feel angry or upset. But each time you release that anger, even in tiny moments, you’re creating space for healing. Start by acknowledging the pain, expressing your emotions in a safe space, and eventually, choosing to release that pain for your own peace.

The Importance of Self-Forgiveness

While forgiving others can be challenging, forgiving yourself is often even harder. We tend to be our own harshest critics, holding ourselves to impossibly high standards. When we make mistakes, especially ones that hurt others, the guilt can feel suffocating. We often ask, “How can I forgive myself after what I did?”

The truth is, everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. The key is to learn from those mistakes and use them as stepping stones toward growth and self-improvement. Self-forgiveness doesn’t mean absolving yourself of responsibility. It means acknowledging the mistake, accepting that you’re not perfect, and giving yourself permission to move on.

When you forgive yourself, you free yourself from the burden of guilt. This act of self-compassion is vital to mental health. It allows you to focus on the present and future instead of being stuck in the past. It helps you cultivate self-love, which in turn boosts your self-esteem and sense of well-being.

Taking Stock of Unforgiveness in Your Life

Forgiveness is an essential part of the mental health journey. It’s important to take stock of any unforgiveness in your life—whether it’s toward others or yourself. Ask yourself: Are there people or situations that I’ve been holding onto, keeping myself stuck in pain? Are there mistakes I’ve made that I need to forgive myself for? Recognizing areas of unforgiveness allows you to begin the process of healing.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It’s an act of strength, courage, and self-care. It’s about reclaiming your peace and taking control of your emotional well-being. Whether you start with forgiving someone else, or you begin with forgiving yourself, remember that it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Progress in forgiveness is progress in mental health.

Wrapping up: Healing Through Forgiveness

The struggle with forgiveness is real, but the freedom that comes from letting go is worth the effort. Forgiving others, forgiving yourself, and taking stock of any unresolved feelings can help you break free from the past and move forward with a lighter heart and mind. Remember, forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. It may take time, but every step you take toward forgiveness is a step toward healing, peace, and better mental health.

Let go of what no longer serves you, and give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Your mental health will thank you for it.

Seasons for hope

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Embracing Seasons of Change and Growth: The Beauty in Pain

Life, much like nature, moves through seasons. These seasons are not just parts of the year, but metaphorical stages in our personal journeys. Some seasons are warm and full of joy, while others feel cold and harsh, filled with difficulty and pain. Yet, no season is permanent, and even in the toughest of times, growth is possible. The same way a tree loses its leaves in winter only to bloom again in spring, we too go through times of challenge—seasons of change—that, though painful, also bring about transformation and hope.

The Changing Seasons of Life

Our lives are marked by different seasons: moments of peace and contentment, seasons of struggle, and times of personal growth. The cycles of life, much like the four seasons of the year, remind us that nothing stays the same forever. Some seasons—like summer or spring—feel full of energy, warmth, and promise. We feel in sync with our surroundings and ourselves. But other times, life shifts, and we find ourselves in winter, facing challenges and heartache.

Just as winter can be cold, dark, and barren, so too can the seasons of our lives where we face loss, confusion, or hardship. The relationships we hold dear may experience strain, personal goals may feel out of reach, and sometimes, hope seems like a distant memory. In these moments, it’s easy to wonder if we’ll ever move beyond the coldness or find the strength to begin again.

Growth in the Hard Seasons

Yet, within these darker seasons lies the potential for growth. Trees lose their leaves in winter, but this isn’t a sign of death—it’s part of a cycle of regeneration. The leaves that fall are preparing the tree for new growth in the spring. The tree endures the pain of the winter months, but in that silence, deep changes are happening beneath the surface. Roots grow stronger, and when the warmth of spring arrives, the tree is ready to blossom once again.

Similarly, we are not immune to pain and difficulty. But these seasons of challenge, though difficult, are also times of deep inner work and transformation. Even when we feel lost or weak, we can trust that growth is still happening inside us. Our experiences, though painful, shape us into who we are meant to be, and with time, healing comes.

Marriage and Relationships: A Dance of Seasons

This pattern of seasons is especially evident in relationships, particularly in marriage. At the beginning, a relationship can feel like the fresh blooms of spring: full of hope, excitement, and love. But over time, marriages, like trees, go through periods of difficulty. The carefree, happy days may give way to seasons of conflict, misunderstandings, and even a sense of emotional barrenness. Yet, these seasons, though they may bring pain, don’t signal the end. They are opportunities for deeper understanding, growth, and renewal.

Marriage, like any meaningful relationship, goes through phases. And just as winter can feel isolating and bleak, it can also bring clarity. The couple may need to reconnect, rebuild trust, or rediscover shared dreams. During these moments, patience and commitment are key. The roots of the relationship may need to be nurtured, and even when things seem bleak, the promise of spring—the renewal and blossoming of love—is just around the corner.

Hope in the Midst of Challenge

In these seasons of change and growth, it’s crucial to remember that hope is never truly lost. The winter may feel cold and lonely, but spring always follows. Just as a leafless tree doesn’t mean the tree is dead, a challenging season doesn’t mean that you, or your relationships, are beyond repair. Hope lies in the truth that every season has its purpose, and every pain brings an opportunity for healing and growth.

As we face our own seasons of struggle, whether personal, relational, or even professional, we can find comfort in knowing that transformation is happening. It may not be immediately visible, but just like the tree preparing for new leaves, we too are preparing for a new chapter.

Embrace the Seasons

In the cycle of life, the seasons come and go. There is beauty in each of them, whether it’s the golden hues of autumn or the quiet, starkness of winter. The key is to embrace each season, even the difficult ones, with the knowledge that change, growth, and renewal are part of the journey. Pain, though inevitable, does not have the last word. With patience, hope, and time, we can emerge stronger, more vibrant, and ready for the next season of our lives.

So, when you find yourself in a season of hardship, remember the trees. Even when they are bare, they are not forgotten by the earth. Trust that, like them, you too will grow again.

To love a man

by Mothersense, posted in Mental Health Recovery, Reclamation, This Life

November: Men’s Mental Health Month – Breaking the Stigma

November is not just a month for reflection on the changing seasons or the coming holidays. It’s also a time to highlight a critical yet often overlooked issue: Men’s Mental Health. As we approach this month, we should take a moment to examine the pressures that men face, the stigma surrounding mental health, and how we can help break down the barriers to healing.

For many men, mental health struggles are often seen as a sign of weakness—something to be ashamed of. This is especially true in a society where traditional masculinity often discourages vulnerability and emotional expression. Yet, it’s essential to understand that mental health doesn’t discriminate; it affects us all, regardless of gender.

This issue hits particularly close to home for me, as my own husband has shared something deeply troubling. He drives an 18-wheeler for work and has confided in me that he lives with the constant fear of killing someone while driving. The thought of that horrific scene haunts him, knowing he would have to live with the aftermath. This is just one example of the mental struggles men face, yet it’s a conversation too often left in the shadows.

The Stigma Men Face

For many men, asking for help is a monumental task. Society has conditioned them to be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. This can make it incredibly difficult for them to open up about their mental health struggles. Unfortunately, this leads to an overwhelming number of men suffering in silence, trapped in a cycle of shame, isolation, and fear.

When men do express their emotions, it’s often misinterpreted as anger. This is not a flaw or a sign of aggression—it’s simply a way for many men to mask their vulnerability. The truth is, anger is sometimes the only emotion men feel safe enough to express. Behind that anger, there’s often fear, sadness, guilt, and anxiety.

But it’s time for change. It’s time to break down the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and create an environment where they feel safe to ask for help, express themselves, and receive the care they need.

How to Help Men Cope

If you know a man who is struggling, or if you are a man facing mental health challenges, there are ways to begin coping—even if a therapist is not immediately accessible. It’s important to remember that reaching out for help doesn’t always have to be through professional therapy; sometimes, just taking the first small steps can make a world of difference.

  1. Encourage Open Conversations
    Create a safe space for men to talk without judgment. Let them know that it’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to talk about feelings. Ask open-ended questions and allow them the time and space to respond without pressure. Sometimes just saying, “I’m here for you,” can mean more than we realize.
  2. Normalize Vulnerability
    Remind them that being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of strength. Show them that vulnerability is human, and it’s part of being a whole person. Help them understand that seeking help and being open with emotions is not only okay—it’s necessary.
  3. Promote Healthy Coping Mechanisms
    Encourage activities that can help men cope with their emotions in a healthy way. Whether it’s exercise, journaling, spending time outdoors, or taking up a hobby, these activities can provide a sense of purpose and relief. Encouraging them to take time for themselves is crucial for mental health.
  4. Create a Routine
    Having a sense of structure can help manage anxiety and stress. Encouraging daily routines, even small ones like taking a walk or making time for a favorite activity, can help restore a sense of normalcy and control.
  5. Take It One Step at a Time
    If a man feels overwhelmed by the thought of seeking professional help, start small. Begin with small steps like confiding in a friend or loved one, journaling, or reading about mental health. Sometimes, just acknowledging the issue is the first step toward healing.
  6. Encourage Connection
    One of the most important ways to help is through connection. Encourage men to spend time with friends, family, or loved ones who understand them. Social support is vital, and knowing they aren’t alone can ease the weight of their struggles.
  7. Be Patient
    Men, particularly those who struggle with opening up, may take time to feel comfortable with their emotions. Patience is key. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter how long it takes for them to open up.

For the Loved Ones of Men Struggling with Mental Health

As someone who loves a man dealing with mental health struggles, you play a critical role in his healing process. You may not have all the answers, and that’s okay. What’s most important is showing support, patience, and understanding.

When men aren’t ready to seek therapy, make sure they know you’re there to listen, without judgment or offering solutions unless they ask. Sometimes, just being present can provide the comfort they need to begin the healing process.

To wrap it up for you:

November is Men’s Mental Health Month, a time to reflect on how we can be more supportive of the men in our lives who are struggling. It’s essential to acknowledge the unique pressures men face and help break down the stigma of seeking help.

If you are a man reading this, know that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. It’s okay to ask for help, to lean on others, and to take small steps toward healing. And if you love a man who is struggling, remember that your compassion, patience, and support can make all the difference in the world.

Together, we can create a future where mental health is no longer a taboo subject and where men feel safe, loved, and supported on their journey toward emotional well-being.

In times of chaos

by Mothersense, posted in This Life

Remember to Listen to Your Own Advice

Life has a way of sweeping us up in its whirlwind of chaos—whether it’s work, relationships, or the day-to-day demands that seem to grow the longer we ignore them. Last week got very chaotic for me on Wednesday afternoon at 4:04 pm. I won’t share details at the moment as it is all very raw, but I will remind myself and others that it’s ok to pause. It’s easy to forget what we know we need to do to take care of ourselves. But sometimes, in the midst of all the noise, we need a reminder. So, this is me reminding myself to slow down, take a breath, and go back to the basics—the things that help me stay grounded.

1. Stick to Your Routines
When everything feels unpredictable, routines are a stabilizing force. It’s tempting to throw them out the window when life gets hectic, but those routines are anchors. Whether it’s starting your day with a cup of coffee and a few minutes of quiet, or setting aside time for a walk or a workout, these small acts of consistency help create a sense of control, even when everything else feels out of hand. They’re not rigid rules; they’re your lifelines.

2. Eat Good Food
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of convenience, grabbing whatever is quickest or most comforting in the moment. But I know that eating well—not just grabbing food to fill the void—makes a huge difference in how I feel physically and mentally. Fresh fruits, vegetables, and balanced meals don’t just fuel the body; they fuel the mind, too. When you’re tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, it’s especially important to nourish yourself in ways that help you cope, not just survive.

3. Take Your Meds
I’ve been there—thinking that maybe I can skip a dose, or that I’ll be okay without them for a while. But the truth is, my medication is part of what helps me stay balanced, mentally and emotionally. There’s no shame in needing support, and the routine of taking meds is a tool in my toolkit for coping. I need to remember to stay consistent, to not let the chaos or distractions of life take me off course.

4. Rest
We often mistake being busy for being productive, and in doing so, we forget the importance of rest. Whether it’s taking a 20-minute power nap or simply stepping away from the hustle and bustle for a few minutes to reset, rest is essential for both body and mind. It’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity. In the chaos of daily life, I need to pause and honor my need for recovery.

5. Breathe
In the rush of the moment, we forget to breathe. Not just the shallow breaths that keep us alive, but the deep, mindful breaths that ground us. When stress builds up, my chest tightens, and my mind races. Taking a few moments to simply breathe, to center myself, helps me regain focus and calm. It’s a simple yet powerful tool to reset and remember that everything doesn’t have to be solved in one moment.

6. Reach out for help if you need it. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been so great at keeping in touch. Call the friend. Text the family. It takes a village and honestly we get so caught up in trying to face things alone, either for shame, or whatever, we hurt ourselves more. Get the help, if its just a hand to hold or professional help, reach out.

Pause and Remember
In the chaos of life, it’s easy to forget to take care of ourselves. But I have to remind myself—especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed—that these simple routines are the things that help me cope. Taking care of my body, my mind, and my spirit is not a luxury. It’s the foundation that allows me to face the chaos with more resilience.

So, when life starts to feel like it’s spinning too fast, I’m going to pause, take a deep breath, and return to the basics. I’ll remind myself of the advice I’ve given before and continue following the steps that help me move through this life with more ease and less stress. Because at the end of the day, I can’t pour from an empty cup.