Recalibrating Gratitude

I sometimes catch myself being ungrateful.
Not in a loud, stomping-my-feet kind of way. Not in a way that would be obvious to anyone watching. But in the quiet way where I start overlooking what’s good and fixating only on what’s wrong.
The past few months have been particularly rough — financially, emotionally, physically. I still don’t have real answers about the left flank pain, though it has improved, and for that I am thankful. The heart issues? They seem to have been a fluke… or maybe a warning shot across the bow. Either way, my heart is strong, my blood pressure has normalized, and that is no small gift.
Emotionally and physically, though? It’s felt like one of those rickety carnival rides — the kind that jerks you around without warning. Up, down, sideways, spinning just fast enough to make you question your equilibrium.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, I caught myself.
Not focusing on solutions. Not leaning into my usual “everything is figure-outable” mantra. Not scanning for silver linings or mapping out next steps.
I was wallowing.
And honestly? That’s not like me at all.
I’m the one who finds the bright side. I’m the one who reframes. I’m the one who says, “Okay, this is hard — now what are we going to do about it?”
But even the strong ones get tired. Even the optimistic ones have days where the weight feels heavier than usual.
So I did what I know to do when I feel myself drifting off course.
I recalibrated.
I carved out a little time each day to be alone. To reflect. To sit with my life and my circumstances without judgment. And somewhere in that quiet, I found something steady again.
Gratitude.
Not the fluffy, hashtag kind. The grounded kind. The kind that says: I am still here.
I am still able to spend time with my mostly grown kids.
I get to hear my sweet Aubree call me “Grand-ma-ma!”
I get to feel Charlotte slip her little hand into mine and lean in for a forehead kiss.
That is not small. That is everything.
I am fortunate. I am blessed. Even on the bad days. Even when the money feels tight. Even when my body feels unpredictable. Even when I have a moment (or two) of wallowing.
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending things aren’t hard. It means refusing to let the hard things be the only things I see.
Perspective, y’all.
If you are weary, you are not alone. If you’ve been riding your own version of a bad carnival ride, I see you. But take a moment. Look around. Find one thing — just one — that anchors you back to what’s still good.
Recalibrate.
Because bitterness is heavy. Despair is suffocating. But gratitude? Gratitude steadies the ride.
We’ve got this.
Love and light, folks.