What can you do when you feel helpless? Maybe your job search is dragging out and you feel like it’s never-ending, maybe your kid is sick and you don’t have answers to why, maybe things are rough in a friendship, family, or marriage and you have done every possible thing you know to do….what can you do next? What will be helpful?
It can be hard to feel helpless. To have to be still and wait for answers or just waiting at all can take so much energy. When things feel out of your control, and you’ve already tried everything you can think of, it’s easy to feel stuck, like there’s no next step. But there are ways to move forward, even if they’re small steps.
I do want to say I think it’s key to acknowledge that it’s okay to not have all the answers or to feel like you’ve reached a limit. Feeling helpless is a very human experience, and being kind to yourself during that time is huge. When you’re in a tough spot, here are some things that might help:
- Take a Break and Breathe: Sometimes, when we’re so deep in the weeds of a difficult situation, we forget to step back and take a breather. It doesn’t mean ignoring the issue, but giving yourself a moment of mental clarity to recharge. Simple practices like deep breathing, meditation, or even taking a walk can reset your nervous system and give you a fresh perspective.
- Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing how you’re feeling can be a huge relief. Sometimes just verbalizing the weight of everything you’re carrying can make it feel lighter. You don’t need someone to have all the answers – you just need someone who will listen. And sometimes maybe you just talk to yourself. Yup. I said it, talk to yourself, sometimes saying things out loud helps you to feel better about the in between, the waiting, the PAUSE if you will.
- Let Go of What’s Beyond Your Control: It’s difficult, but part of feeling helpless comes from trying to control everything. If you’ve done everything you can and you’re still not seeing results, sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender a bit. Trust that things will work out in their own time. It’s not giving up – it’s giving yourself permission to stop shouldering the weight of things you can’t fix right now.
- Focus on Small Wins: If the big picture feels overwhelming, try to break things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Is there one small action you can take today to improve your situation, even just a little? Maybe that’s applying for one more job, researching new treatment options for your child, or reaching out to a friend to have a real conversation about what’s going on.
- Seek New Resources or Perspectives: Sometimes we can feel stuck because we’re too close to a problem, or we’ve exhausted the usual ways of looking at it. Maybe it’s time to seek out a new perspective – whether that’s reading a book on personal growth, talking to a mentor, or exploring new treatment options or support groups for your situation.
- Practice Patience and Self-Compassion: Growth or healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and that’s hard to deal with when you’re in the middle of it. Being gentle with yourself during these moments and remembering that things won’t always feel like this can help maintain hope.
Mothersense and Miscellaneous 