October – answers??

October was the magic month we had been waiting for and I had a really good feeling about it. I was going to move up in my Younique business, get the kids sleep schedules back on track, catch up on laundry and my to-do list. AND the BIG ONE – we were going to get answers from the neurologist. It hasn’t happened yet. The other stuff it will get done and I will promote my business like I should, but this wait and wait and testing only to get nothing is so frustrating and it makes me sad. Not going to lie to you people it makes things feel so impossible. It feels like we are getting nowhere. Nothing has been ruled out, nothing has been diagnosed. We do need to check into home health care helpers – not sure who is going to pay for that…I have orders for a wheelchair to help get hubs around to doctors appointments. Some days are good and he can get around, other days are not and he needs help with stuff. And then there are the kids, keeping them busy, answering their questions, trying to be as normal as we can be given the limitations on funds and time restraints. Ehh I sound like I am complaining and maybe I am…but then today is just one of those days that I am sad. I slog through the rain to tend to horses, help calm the baby my daughter is babysitting, find a place that can get us a wheelchair for doctors appointments, check emails, it all seems so much like drudgery. BUT then a little ray of sunshine comes through, maybe its a phone call, text, message, or FB post…but it comes through and makes the day a little better. For me, today it was the lady on the other end of the phone who was so sweet and so sympathetic when I told her we needed to get a wheelchair for my husband. A wheelchair y’all!!!! Granted it is only for days when we are out and about but still, he needs one. A walker was ruled out because there are times his arm does the muscle twitchy thing and would not be able to hold up his weight. I’d like to go back 2 years when I thought things were awful and they really weren’t, they were just the beginning of some of the awful. We have been on a journey y’all and by the grace of God I am still here. Still putting on my armor everyday and still carrying a little hope in me that there will be sunshine after the rain.