SUMMER

2012- Ok. Normally I would be excited about summer, no more alarm clocks, no rigid schedules, things of that nature…..but my 16 year old has gone down a long and hard road by failing 4 classes this year. He just does not seem to care. He is in his own world and doesn’t even interact with the rest of us. This is the worst. SO now we have a month of summer school, which means having him at school by 7 am and he does not get out until 4 or later depending on his progress.

2014- And now here I am facing his graduation. Should I long for the summer as I normally would or do I dread it or perhaps get excited because my first born will soon be leaving the nest? It actually gets me quite emotional to think on it for too long. He has come so far in so many aspects and in others well there has been progress. I don’t know what my life will be like as it is the beginning of my little critters going out into the cold hard world no longer shielded by my rules and guidance. I can only hope that the big lessons have stuck with him and that his sisters that follow in a few short years will learn them well so that maybe they will be equipped to deal with adulthood. I hope they are better equipped than I was, I hope I have done better than my own parents (whose skills were not lacking exactly, I know they did they best they could).

I think that I am in no rush for summer to get here. I find that I am not longing for the heat, nor do I intend to rush this last little bit of time that my young man is firmly under my roof, in my home, the place where I can gently open his door and watch him sleep because it is my right because he is my child, my son, my first-born and we will never get this chance again.